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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
sometimes i feel really depressed and i just FAKE happy and wish i can just go home. i've done that already and i only started school this monday, nothing really bad happend but sometimes i just got these bad moments which i took way too seriously like this boy told me ( we had double tables) i'd rather sit alone and i took it waaaay to seriously and for a minit even thought there was something wrong with me bcuz then this other girl sat beside him and i was like WHY but his loss , other times i was happy or ok and being social and trying out the advice i got saying hi to people and all.
but i have to "pose and act" in school damnit and like today i felt like kicking some1's *** but i just smiled and said hi.. totally faking it! but i guess thats a good thing
do i overanalyze things??
i guess every1 poses and acts in school......
 

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Yeah, I've always had to act happy in school so people didn't always ask "What's wrong?" Today I was feeling miserable in drawing class, but I forced myself to smile at people.
 

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If I remember correctly, you're in high school right sweetangel? High school sucks. I wouldn't want to go through that again. It really may be one of the hardest things in life. If you can get through it alive, you'll be stronger for it.
I think part of having SA is that we all overanalyze things. I know what you're talking about regarding the posing, but I think that everyone else does pose to some degree too... I think we're the only ones who go home and really think about it though. Notice I said we because I'm guilty of it too.

winduptoy, there's a thing called the facial feedback hypothesis. Basically it says that if you smile long enough you'll feel better and vice versa if you frown, you'll feel down. If the hypothesis is true, your fake smile could turn into real happiness. I use it, but it doesn't always work. Most of the time I do end up laughing since it seems so ridiculous.

Schitzophrenic, try to concentrate on the professor. I know it's hard, but if you make an effort to get into the material, it takes some of the pressure off. Not much, but a little.

I had a terrible day yesterday, so I totally know where you guys are coming from. I hope you all have a great day tomorrow.
 

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yea school is really suck i hate it and just wait to come home all the day, all the day i sit in class and just wait to this moment ends and i will go home at last, i didnt say hi to many pepole i dont think it was the pressure i just..didnt want to..i dont know
and i evan did not say hello to my "friends" from other classes wich i did not talk with them for along time..one of the friends come to my class to welcom me..but i was realy cold to him i dont know..
i dont think i smile so much..i dont want pepole to think i happy and friendly man cause then they will not undrstand why im alone all the time..well sorry if you did not undrstand the last sentence..it was hard to me to explain sorry
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Black said:
yea school is really suck i hate it and just wait to come home all the day, all the day i sit in class and just wait to this moment ends and i will go home at last, i didnt say hi to many pepole i dont think it was the pressure i just..didnt want to..i dont know
and i evan did not say hello to my "friends" from other classes wich i did not talk with them for along time..one of the friends come to my class to welcom me..but i was realy cold to him i dont know..
i dont think i smile so much..i dont want pepole to think i happy and friendly man cause then they will not undrstand why im alone all the time..well sorry if you did not undrstand the last sentence..it was hard to me to explain sorry
i get it, you want to "justify" your being alone by not being friendly. thats wrong, they dont have to understand a thing u live for urself.
 

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Know how ya feel, people always ask me what's wrong. Even a teacher asked if I was okay.. :fall I didn't realize how sad I appear..
 

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today i felt like kicking some1's *** but i just smiled and said hi.. totally faking it!
:lol

why don't you go back to looking unhappy, and think of yourself as far more original than the rest of the fairy-land school.
 

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I do this EVERY SINGLE freaking day.
sooo soo used to it,
Everyone in the school knows me as the nice girl...read every single yearbook and the words 'nice girl' will pop up so many times you'll get dizzy.
I guess it's a priviledge to be remembered as such a good person, but...
really
I wish I could get to know some people closer than just that nice exterior...><
 

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schitzophreniic said:
sometimes when i start thinking about my life, and ignore the professor i almost start to cry cause im so sad and depressed :x
I feel for ya. When I was in HS I would randomly start crying in class. And right now I can't even remember what is was over. It got to the point where people would notice even if the room was dark (like during a movie) and would say "Uh oh, Joes crying again".

Though I think that was the reason no one tried to beat me up ever. I think they realized it would just make things worse for me. Or maybe I would've gone beserk, I don't know.
 

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Well, you're a better person than me-- I never faked happy in high school. I constantly had campus ministers (Catholic school) and gudiance counselors make appointments to see me because they were "concerned about me"-- then I thought "why? how weird?" But all the questions they asked me... probably thought I was going to kill myself or something.
 

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Yeah I can't be myself at all at school. A teacher once told me I should smile more. But yeah, school really does suck, and everyday, I'm just counting down the minutes until I can get out of that terrible place.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
shefeltlikehell said:
Yeah I can't be myself at all at school. A teacher once told me I should smile more. But yeah, school really does suck, and everyday, I'm just counting down the minutes until I can get out of that terrible place.
thats no way to live i'm quoting pink's god is a dj: "find a new lifestyle a reason to smile look for nirvana(An ideal condition of rest, harmony, stability, or joy. ).

here they are:
[Verse 2:]
I've been the girl- middle finger in the air
Unaffected by rumors, the truth: I don't care
So open your mouth and stick out your tongue
You might as well let go, you can't take back what you've done
So find a new lifestyle
A new reason to smile
Look for Nirvana
Under the strobe lights
Sequins and sex dreams
You whisper to me
There's no reason to cry

[CHORUS:]
If God is a DJ
Life is a dance floor

well i cant say its gotten much better in school since that first post but i'm a little happier but i still am not enjoying myself and have a tiny tiny bit of sa left when it comes to speaches or to large groups of kids that are all hanging out, big groups scare me idk but i'm striving for better, one on one i have no anxiety.
 
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