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If the person with sa is comfortable in my presence that's what matters
 

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oh wait what am i saying :S

i went on a date with this guy and he didnt talk the whole time, and i felt SO awkward and offended cos iwas making the effort so i didnt see him again

it depends how severely shy they were..............
 

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i mean i even gave the guy a present and he didnt even say thank u i dont think he was SA tho he might just been abit odd :\
 

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but he probably wouldn't be that comfortable in your presence remember he has social anxiety
So do I, but I click/get on with certain personalities
 

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would you go out with a guy with social anxiety or do you prefer confident men ?
:yes

I would because I would understand what he is going through and he would understand what I am going through. And it may make things easier if he prefers to stay in rather than go out all the time. We can be hermits together. :hide
 

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i mean i even gave the guy a present and he didnt even say thank u i dont think he was SA tho he might just been abit odd :\
To be honest I actually have trouble saying thank you sometimes. It happened on christmas too. I get nervous, like people are gauging my thank you to see how content I am with the gift, I even almost left without even saying goodbye to my uncle. I got so nervous when everyone tried to hug me. Perhaps it's just because I see them once a year (I usually say thank you to most people though).
 

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I'd prefer a guy who isn't...well...so confident. That would make me feel uncomfortable. He doesn't have to be a hermit like me, infact I'd prefer someone who can get me comfortable enough to go outside. Okay, he can be confident but not like, showy, you know? However, I definitely want someone who would force me to get out more.
 

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would the awkward silences bother you?
I don't know. If you enjoy being with someone, silence shouldn't be awkward. But, then again I know it can be. It don't think it would bother me because I understand that sometimes you don't know what to say. I'm thinking that maybe silence between two SA people would be less awkward than one between an SA person and a non SA person because the non SA person wont understand the silence. I don't know...just my two cents...:um
 

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i guess it just depends on him. and if i didn't know he had social anxiety....then i would assume he really doesn't like me. so idk.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
silence between two SA people would be less awkward than one between an SA person and a non SA person because the non SA person wont understand the silence thats true
 

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SometimeShyGuy
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Being in a relationship HELPED my SA

I'm a guy who's been in a relationship with the same girl for almost six years now. When we first started hanging out, it was with mutual friends and not much pressure. The first time I realized I was really attracted to her that way, we were at a concert with friends and there wasn't really a need to talk :p

A very important part of us getting together is that the great majority of communication is NON-verbal. When we started "gravitating" towards each other more and more (in no-pressure situations, mind you), there was a mutual exchange of positive signals, and that's pretty much involuntary. When it came to telling her how I felt, I could barely get the words out I was so shy. But she knew I meant it, and the feelings were mutual.

At that point, I hadn't had any full-blown panic attacks. I was just extra-shy and sort of self-conscious. My SA didn't manifest until being with her for a few years, and then moving out, starting college, and being at a new job all at the same time. Studying every spare second, too many responsibilities, sleep deprivation, stress and lots of shots of espresso were the circumstances leading up to the first of too many panic attacks.

Anywho, I want to say that it was a struggle to open up to my girlfriend. I had to battle my self-consciousness in order to be myself and be vulnerable around her, open to judgment. It literally took years to get to where I am now. It took a lot of work, and a great investment of time and energy. But it paid of IMMENSELY! I can now say that I am more free and happy and myself around her than anyone in the world, and it's an invaluable comfort to have that with the person you love.

DON'T GIVE UP DUDE!!! lololol
 

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Definitely confident.

It raises my confidence knowing someone "normal" is interested in me. I know he likes me for reasons other than my shyness. If someone with SA likes me I may think he's only interested because of my timidness and that I was easy to approach.

It's also more of a challenge and forces me to come out of my shell
 
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