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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi my name is Antonio and I think I may have a problem for years I have been a shy kid, always the smallest member of my class. I was the typical geek with the big glasses and big brain, and as I grew my shyness seemed to grow worse to the point that I hated and still do hate going places. I'm now in my twenties been through college and now working so I thought I turned a corner. But I am still painfully shy, never really had a girlfriend because I can't talk to women. I have several friends who are women, my closest friend who I really like is a woman but I can't muster the courage to ask her or any other girl out. Is it the rejection I ear or is it something else.
This evening for instance my office had a dinner party which I agreed to go but I just couldn't for a number of reasons. I firstly feared going alone and looking like a loser as many of them planned to bring dates, secondly no matter how good I dress I always feel inferior. I'm not ugly I would consider myself average except for my height which is short. What I want to know is this fear something I can grow out of or do I need professional help.
 

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Hi my name is Antonio and I think I may have a problem for years I have been a shy kid, always the smallest member of my class. I was the typical geek with the big glasses and big brain, and as I grew my shyness seemed to grow worse to the point that I hated and still do hate going places. I'm now in my twenties been through college and now working so I thought I turned a corner. But I am still painfully shy, never really had a girlfriend because I can't talk to women. I have several friends who are women, my closest friend who I really like is a woman but I can't muster the courage to ask her or any other girl out. Is it the rejection I ear or is it something else.
This evening for instance my office had a dinner party which I agreed to go but I just couldn't for a number of reasons. I firstly feared going alone and looking like a loser as many of them planned to bring dates, secondly no matter how good I dress I always feel inferior. I'm not ugly I would consider myself average except for my height which is short. What I want to know is this fear something I can grow out of or do I need professional help.
SmartGuy360,

There is nothing wrong with trying to get help. At most, you would be put on medication (which I call "training wheels") so you can try situations and then talk about them to the doctor. That is what Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is all about.

I have come a long way in the time I have been here. I may not have the date part downpat, but I am getting pretty close as I have had to deal with the issue of standing up for myself - the latter half of 2012. Ihave had quite a bit of success and even some minor setbacks. The triumphs become more frequent over tie when you work at it.

This site can help, too.

Welcome to SAS! :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
thanks

thanks mm75 I am still trying to get over thinking that seeing a shrink made u a freak or weird. I actually tried doing it one time but the week after I started the guy unexpectedly died. My mom wants to setup something for me to talk to another one, I wish Ihad talked to her sooner about my problems instead of hiding them but i was ashamed of not being normal
 

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Welcome Smartguy! Don't worry we can relate!
 

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Hey Antonio, welcome to :sas
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thank you all

Thank you all for your support it means a lot, I will report on my progress, my successes and failures as they come along
 

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It wouldn't hurt to see a therapist, but I think you can help yourself too. A lot of us have these negative beliefs inside our heads about how other people perceive us. "They probably won't like me", "They will think I'm a nerd", "They could say something mean", etc. Almost all the time, they aren't true, but it can make it hard to reach out. So if you can relax a little, and just try to be friendly, usually people will respond, and you can say to yourself, "See? That wasn't so bad". I know it's easier said than done, but that's the best place to start. Good luck to you.
 
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