This is something I'm trying to deal with, I'm pretty aware of my general fixation I get when I get to know someone well, or certain routine I like. This is from social problems. I tend to have a few different 'layers of walls' so to speak. It's protecting from one of that very reason. I don't get 'close' to many. But once I let one person in all facets of my 'walls' I shut everyone else out due to SA, and just talk to them.
Both of these things are bad and I am aware.
I'm not sure what advice I can give other then keep trying to talk to more then one person at time. I've learned a few times talking (and 'dependent') on just one person can burn bridges / 'wear people out' so to speak. It doesn't mean it will always end up like that, no. But trying to keep more then one option open of source of social outlet really helps. Things such as anxiety support groups to meetup with people, might be something you might be interested in.
I get attached to people I meet online/real life all too much.
The constant attachment and then loss of that attachment has made me a pretty bitter person, I still get attached too quickly, but I expect me to repel the person everytime I meet someone new. . . .
As for advice,
Constantly remind yourself of the situation, think to yourself to not over-react or over-think, keep expectations at a minimum.. . .that's all I got.
Yup. I don't like the dependent upon feeling but am becoming more comfy with being open and connected to others as opposed to closed off.
Attachment is a nice feeling as long as it's not desperate. I've been focusing on myself and a handful of other connections to stave off desperation. I've been noticing how people do like me, invite me places and want to see/speak and get to know me even though I presently do avoid them lol. I notice how if we don't speak, I can speak to x y or z. Or thinking if I made this friend/lover I can make another friend/lover. Or I can connect on the forum or I'll always be close to my sister or how my family loves me or Mr tall handsome likes me, etc. Basically being cognizant of every social connection I do have.
I'm sure there's a better way and I just haven't discovered it yet but this really helps me feel I have more than 1 option and I needn't cling to people and instead just enjoy them.
Funny I've really been enjoying a new connection and makes me think I should let it rest just a bit so not to wear it out. Don't think they'd tell me if I were being an annoyance. Ahh navigating the world of SA where one does not trust their instincts and is filled with assumptions. So. Much. Fun.
This is probably my biggest problem. You are NOT alone. Three years ago I had a teacher whose personality was so alike mine, I feared I'd never meet someone like her again. I don't have her for any classes anymore, but I'm still in the same school, so whenever I see her, I feel incredibly awkward and reminiscent. Like me, she's not the warm and fuzzy type of person that'll chat with old students in the halls, so I always pretend I don't see her when we cross paths. I can't count the number of hours I've spent replaying old memories of being in her class. Once I tried to avoid crossing paths with her at school, and, long story short, I think she could tell I was avoiding her. I was paranoid about this for days if not more, worrying about what she thought of me, did she think I was a freak or something? Ugh, I'm still not over it, and often I wish I'd never met her.
I also get attached to strangers, knowing that I'll probably never see them again/get a chance to know them. Today I was walking down the street, and this woman happened to be in front of me going the same way. We walked, about 5-10 metres apart, for quite some time, until she turned left down a side street. I felt a hint of sadness and glanced at her for the last time as I silently wished her "have a nice life".
I absolutely hate getting attached to people. My cousin, who I'm very close with, has the opposite problem: she feels unemotional and indifferent with everyone. You always want what you can't have..
(sorry for this being so long and not helpful. I just wanted to get it out of me)
I don't think I get too attached to people. I mean if I like someone and they suddenly leave, I'll definitely be sad but life goes on. I think an important thing is just to feel comfortable with who you are, and with your own company. I always felt I'd be able to maintain myself and my character (though not absolutely alone, as long as I have a support system with friends and family) but I don't let other people define my self worth or value to a large extent. I think doing something like that can be pretty damaging to your own wellbeing and cause a lot of emotional/mental stress.
hmm..just take it slow would be the only suggestion i have. but i don't find it too odd being attached to someone you LIKE. if it is a person you don't like, then id see a reason to worry. or if it stressin you out mentally..like a drug addiction or something. then it just seems like you'd notice that pretty easily and play it cool for a while? i dunno. sorry for the crappy advice homie.
yeah..i get what you mean, it's like once you found someone out of a ton of people..you'd stick to them like glue..
I sometimes hate myself for it, the need to be next to them makes me feel like a parasite, it's like i need to feed off of them.. for the sake of my own survival