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Cursed and Despised
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I think I have had about 8 or 10 near-death experiences... I am basically trying to figure out how badly they scarred me... I am agorophobic now but still miraculously go out 7-8 hours a day from time-to-time (not working right now but find other activities, sports games, movies, regular long walks in the park) I also spend a lot of time alone in my apt. however.

To sum up, it almost seems like extremely bad luck...

The first one I can remember I was in sleep-away camp around 13 or 14... horrible storm and all the kids ran back to the bunk... I was like whatever, kinda cool feeling the storm so I walked slowly... suddenly lightning struck right near me and I crouched down on the ground... I looked up and the lightning must have been inches from my head...

At age 17-20 I drank and smoked weed/cigarettes so much that I could have died from alcohol poisoning a bunch of times... once I tried coke only did it once but did at least 3 or 4 lines my first time mixed with weed beer and cigarettes on an empty stomach... anyway, I felt I was going to die, like I somehow knew life was slipping... I splashed water on my face and drank water out of the sink... I somehow woke up the next day...

Around 19, drug dealers were walking behind me on the street (I didn't see them) and I started talking s*** that no one in the area messes with me... I never have done that before... only that one time... they robbed me and one said, "let's kill him" I know he was serious, and another one said "naaa"

Another guy put a knife to my throat, was threatened by another kid he knew,

Also at military academy a kid choked me that I actually yelled at for taking my cigarettes... another kid said, stop, you are gonna kill him... somehow got out of that...

Also in summer camp I was lost in the woods for over an hour and somehow made my way out...

Also around 17 about 3 or 4 times I would run into the street and dodge cars to show off for my friends... they were probably going 40MPH or so but once I remember it being really scary like they were going faster... I wasn't suicidal just being "crazy" like for a thrill... that seems to be the only time I initiated the near-death experience, all the others seem to be out of the blue/random....

Has anyone else had these? Is it that I am cursed or more likely to have another one or possibly die young, or just bad luck/circumstances? Could this have led to all my anxiety? I know huge amounts of weed and alcohol also contributed to my anxiety...
 

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I've only had one. I'll never risk my life again by going into three feet of water.
What about swimming in a pool? :afr
 

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I've had three from suicide attempts. Actually I've had more than that, but there were three in which I came really, really close. After one of them I was in a coma and was intubated in ICU for three days. I can't go into any detail really because this post will just be removed by mods. I don't think they contributed to my SA, but going through the experiences afterwards in the ER and/or ICU, and being committed to psychiatric hospitals...it all definitely scarred me. I guess I've got an angel watching over me or something. I shouldn't have been able to be saved from any of those three attempts.
 

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Cursed and Despised
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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Actually, in retrospect, the "lightning almost striking me" was the only really random NDE (if you can call it that as I didn't actually see the light etc.) The cocaine OD or whatever, I actually felt my life slipping away... there was no white light or peaceful state, it is all just fear...

Almost all others were self-induced... I had provoked someone whether it be a drug dealer or gang member... or bully etc. So in a way most were not bizarre or out of the ordinary...

Ironically, I have not accomplished much as I am in my 30's now... there might be some kind of misconception that people who experience a near-death experience or some trauma or poverty then try THAT MUCH HARDER to achieve more as they were given a "second chance" In my case that never happened.

As for suicide attempts, I have never actually tried... but the though was present in my mind all through my life on and off since my teenage years... my highs and lows are so extreme... it is almost like I never really conquered that dark side, I just would sleep it off or distract myself with TV/sports...

I was also in a hospital for 2 weeks at age 19 and it scarred me only because I had thought it was outpatient and realized it was inpatient so they had to CHOOSE to release me...
 
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