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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
If you didn't read my last post I'll sum up the situation briefly. I've never been in a relationship before. So to help overcome my fear of speaking to girls I decided to try and date somebody for the first time. I just chose a random pretty girl in my class. I said she was pretty and got her number. Rang a few times but she only picked up once so I decided to ask her out in person just to see where I stand.

At the end of class today I said that I tried to call her but her phone was off, but what I wanted to ask on the phone was if she would be interested in going out with me sometime. God, I was so nervous. My heart was pounding, and I was shaking a bit. I felt self-conscious about this. She turned shyly to the computer and I think she said to herself "thats so cute". Oh man, I knew I was finished when she delivered that line. The 'cute' guy never gets the girl. He only ends up a helpless sucker, or the shoulder to cry on.

She looked at me for a few moments without saying anything, so to put her at ease I said "Erm, if you don't want to go out with me its fine, you can just say no. I'm just wondering if you do or not". She told me that she didn't know. She said that she didn't know me(which is technically true as we've hardly spoken to each other all year). I said that if we go out she can get to know me and see what i'm like. Then she asked if somebody put me up to asking her out. I told her no(she suspected a friend pressured me into asking her out, which is kind of true, but she had no way of knowing that).

Then she told me that she hadn't dated anybody since she broke up with her boyfriend a few months ago. I told her that we can take things slow, but again I got the "I don't know". My game was up. It was clear that she wasn't interested and was trying to spare my feelings in a nice way. I told her not to worry about it and thanked her for helping to clear my mind and understand better where I stand in relation to her(not in a cynical way-genuinely).

I made my awkward exit out of the class and felt relieved. I did something that was just about impossible last year. I asked somebody out. I would never have the guts to do that before. Yes it was awkward, yes I was nervous and shaking, and yes she turned me down. But I asked her! No more daydreaming, no more 'what if' feelings. I was suprised. I expected to feel very hurt by her rejection, I was even worried that tears would well up in my eyes. But I felt good.

I still have no girlfriend or dating experience. But maybe it will happen. There is a much greater chance now that i'm not afraid of asking someone out. Thanks for reading.
 

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Congratulations Rushes, that is great! Good going! :clap
 

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Wow, well done for pushing yourself Rushes. And I fear the awkward exit too; in fact thats my greatest fear when asking a girl out: how the hell am I gonna compose myself and walk away if she rejects me.
 

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I love how you put a smiley face beside I got rejected. I feel so proud of you for taking that risk of being rejected. I love how you seem to not feel disappointed about the outcome and just knowing that she is not ultimately into you is what makes you happy and made the whole thing worthwhile. That is definately a triumph! Wow, good going. This sounds like great practice for when you do meet a girl who you would like to ask out in the future.
 

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dont doubt yourself! be confident. sounds to me like she isnt totally put off by you yet. dont doubt that you can be the guy that does something sweet to make her fall for you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
dont doubt yourself! be confident. sounds to me like she isnt totally put off by you yet. dont doubt that you can be the guy that does something sweet to make her fall for you.
No man. Its finished. Class ends soon and she is leaving to a different university. I still have my dignity and won't trail after her like a puppy dog. I did what I could, but she has made her feelings clear. If I keep pressuring her she might give me a more blunt response.

I respect her decision and the polite way in which she handled things. I'm just going to accept the situation and move on.
 

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wow, very good job. i applaud u for having the courage to do something that put u way out of ur comfort zone. that gives the rest of us that have a fear of rejection, hope to know that rejection isnt as bad as we think it is. i think i might take ur advice and ask a guy to the prom that i have had a crush on,lol. again, congrats:)
 

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Excellent job Rushes! You may not have gotten a date but what you did accomplish is that you disproved the irrational belief that "to be rejected is terrible or horrible." This experience has shown that rejection isn't as bad as we think it is. Certainly, it isn't satisfying either, but it isn't as horrific as we usually make it out to be. Perhaps your testimonial would inspire many of us "shy males" to start approaching girls so that we can reduce our social anxiety.

Once again, great job!!!
 

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That's how I felt after getting rejected. Most people act like their life is going to be over and they'll never be able to show their face again. But I was more proud of myself for accomplishing the task of asking someone out that I did not even care that much that I got shafted.
 

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That's pretty cool that you put yourself out there and did that. I'm very impressed.

She didn't actually say no to you though. Are you going to keep in contact with her? You should have asked her to meet you for lunch or coffee then it wouldn't have seemed like a date and she probably would have said yes. If you've got her email or whatever you could still chat to her? she said you were cute sort of!
 

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That's great! er..kinda. My only advice now would be not to focus on her anymore and not to think about anything you did wrong in that situation. I know that's something I would focus on a huge amount, but that is basically like feeding your anxiety. Don't do it. Just be proud of yourself that you had the courage to do this and try try again.
 

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No man. Its finished. Class ends soon and she is leaving to a different university. I still have my dignity and won't trail after her like a puppy dog. I did what I could, but she has made her feelings clear. If I keep pressuring her she might give me a more blunt response.

I respect her decision and the polite way in which she handled things. I'm just going to accept the situation and move on.
well if shes going away, maybe thats different. the way you said it, she had not stated her mind yet. which means it wusent a definite no. i wusent there so i cant speak for how she sounded or what she was thinking. just saying. dont be so quick to put yourself down just because she didnt give a definite yes.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Thanks for the kind words guys. This experience has helped me get over the fear of rejection and speaking to women I like. If they're kind, they will let you down graciously. If they don't, then they were not worth your time anyway.

I would be glad if this post has inspired other shy people to put themselves out there and ask girls out. Hopefully they will have better luck then me. :)
 
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