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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I feel like I never get anything. Nothing I do ever works or turns into anything good. Everytime I want to do something theres always a catch. I constantly get the short end of the stick ALL THE TIME. I don't know how to improve my life or myself because it just seems like solving an impossible equation, and tbh giving up would be a better decision than keeping up with this crap. Why oh why do I fail at everything? To make matters worse people think I'm a failure and want more out of me. I hate my life. They have to realize I'm trying, VERY HARD but not getting anywhere. I think I'm a lost cause and that my life is over, and college is even hopeless for me. I just hate myself and my life so much I hate even the bare minimums that life gives. I'm just sick of life period. I get so jealous of celebrities, people in uni, couples, and people who have lots of friends and family because I can't even get those things. I have nothing, no talents, no hobbies, practically no family, one friend who will be going back to school soon, no girlfriend, no job, and no sanity. I just feel sick ll the time and think why try? There's no reason to. Life sucks, and thats all there is to it. I think nobody cares about me because i'm just a loser. I am far behind everyone else as I watch people's lives pass by at young ages, they have found their careers already, are together with someone, have friends and hope for good life while I sit here trapped trying fro basically NO REASON because it will never work. I am miserable all the time because I see no way out, or any reasonable hope. I have severe anhedonia and even doing something simple is impossible for me, because I figure its just not worth it with how my lifes been lately. Why keep living when you fail or are going to fail at everything in life? God mistook me, I should've died a long time ago. He accidentally left me here to be bored and lonely and have an improper life. I don't know how much longer I can hold out, because every failure continues to worsen my health and hurt me. I am totally lost, and with no one to help oh how I wish to be gone from this cruel world. It just doesn't pay to stay here. It doesn't pay, for what reasons? To suffer more? I know ten years from now I'll be a lowlife loser with nothing. No one will even care or know I exist, and I'll be on disability, hardly ever leaving my house, constantly ill.

I'm very scared moving forwards. I hate myself and my life and don't see a point to continue.
One more thing. LIFE SUCKS, AND ALWAYS WILL FOR ME, unless something changes (which looks very unlikely)
As a matter of fact I feel so ill right now I can really die now. But I am too scared to go through with it. I just want this constant failure, pain, and suffering to end. Please someone make it end.


I literally want to smash my keyboard against the wall right now I'm so pissed. I can't take it anymore.

I've also, as of last night, started having hallucinations and hearing weird noises, and feeling nausea every time I go to bed. Life just get worse by the day.

Boy am I angry. I am so angry I can shred everything in my room to pieces. NOTHING WORKS!!! What the hell is wrong with life? I just can't stand being alive. It sickens me.

Now that I realize what a disgrace my life has turned out to be, and that this monstrosity is blocking me from doing anything to change it , I am getting even angrier.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Sorry to hear . Don't be discouraged life is difficult sometimes. But don't give up. Things will turn out good.
I dont think so, I think my lifes over. If something good were to happen it would have happened already. Its been too long now.

However, maybe I'll be extraordinarily lucky. Unlikely though.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
**** the pity party. turn your great sadness into great anger and use it to accomplish things.
What? Nada? Thats all I can do right now is nada. Whatever I try to accomplish always eventually ends in failure. Why try?
 

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because you must try. it's worth it. even if you fail over and over. this is how great things are achieved in life
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
you learn from your mistakes. so every failure is actually a gain in that respect.
The problem is, every failure weakens me. I'm scared to try, because usually the depression spits out something different after trying. Like last night was the first time I started getting hallucinations and now it feels like everythings stuffy & clogged. My body is utterly being destroyed by this monstrosity. I just don't see that things will get better anytime soon, but I can try. How can I stop being scared of constant failure and bereavement all the time?
 

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The problem is, every failure weakens me. I'm scared to try, because usually the depression spits out something different after trying. Like last night was the first time I started getting hallucinations and now it feels like everythings stuffy & clogged. My body is utterly being destroyed by this monstrosity. I just don't see that things will get better anytime soon, but I can try. How can I stop being scared of constant failure and bereavement all the time?
by getting angry about it. fear and anger don't occupy the same place at the same time.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
by getting angry about it. fear and anger don't occupy the same place at the same time.
I am angry. I have Aspergers too, probably the cause of all of this. Makes me feel like an oddball as I can't socialize properly.
 

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I am angry. I have Aspergers too, probably the cause of all of this. Makes me feel like an oddball as I can't socialize properly.
the only way you're going to slay that beast is if you keep stepping into the dungeon and fighting. over time, and after many fails, you will step out the victor and then you will have confidence
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
the only way you're going to slay that beast is if you keep stepping into the dungeon and fighting. over time, and after many fails, you will step out the victor and then you will have confidence
I do believe that, even if it takes two decades or more.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
lol i don't think it's going to take that long but it could.. start with the small stuff and work your way up. every small victory adds to the great victory.
I guess at least a decade.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
i wouldn't put a time on it, such thoughts can cripple your motivation. life is full of pleasant surprises.
Okay its afternoon now, feeling slightly annoyed, but a little better, going for a potential job offer this afternoon, hope I don't FAIL again!!! At least, even though I'm very frightened of the monstrosity (which keeps building slowly btw), I'm trying again. Wait the next thing I'll get I bet will be seizures or convulsions, and I won't be able to eat or speak. Let's hope not
 

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Okay its afternoon now, feeling slightly annoyed, but a little better, going for a potential job offer this afternoon, hope I don't FAIL again!!!
good luck man, don't stress it and just be cool. do a 5-10 minute exercise that gets your heart rate up so you can get the blood pumping before you go in. you'll feel a lot better trust me! force yourself !
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
good luck man, don't stress it and just be cool. do a 5-10 minute exercise that gets your heart rate up so you can get the blood pumping before you go in. you'll feel a lot better trust me! force yourself !
I'm totally numb and unmotivated at the moment :( but I wish I could do it!!

Usually I dont get better till like 4 or 5 in the afternoon, then at 6 everything tumbles down again.
 
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