[Social_butterfly00]

I have huge anxiety issues when it comes to people liking me. I'm always worried people don't like me. I sort of walk around life assuming others already don't like me and it's my job to get them to like me. I'm always wondering if I'm acting too nice to the point where it's annoying, if I'm just being annoying in general, I worry if my laugh is annoying to others, or the tone of my voice is uninviting.

Anyway, last night I drank at my house and had people over, and my brother and his best friend (we'll call him B) drank with my friends and I too. I live with my brother and B, and we all have the same circle of friends... so we all had a really good time last night. Anyway, tonight my brother came in my room and asked me if I ate B's lunch meat last night. I honestly couldn't remember because I was really drunk last night, but my brother says I did eat it because he saw me eating it at the end of the night. Anyway I guess B is all mad and is making a big deal about it. I felt really bad and do feel bad so I sent him this big long text saying if I had known it was his I wouldn't have eaten it and I don't even remember eating it and that I would go down to the variety store if it was still open and get some more. But he goes "just replace it tomorrow". It's weird but I almost felt like crying and it's put me in a bad mood since. I feel like such a horrible person. I'm obviously going to replace it tomorrow and there's nothing I can really do since the stores aren't open now.

Since this happened I've started to feel like everyone hates me and I just feel like sitting in my room and not coming out. I'm too shy to actual go up to B and talk to him. Sometimes I think he interprets my quietness for rudeness or as cowardice and weakness, so I already feel like he looks down upon me and doesn't like me, considering he's so loud and outspoken and I'm like the polar opposite.

I can't believe I'm getting so upset over lunch meat. I told my mom I feel like a horrible person who should be punished, even though I know I'm not a horrible person. At the same time, B does a lot of stuff that I never say anything about. He never cleans and I always have to clean up after him. He broke the glass in the cabinet that my mom lent my brother and I and he never replaced it. I have bought the household toilet paper for the last two weeks and he has been using it and hasn't contributed any. And I NEVER eat his food. One time I ate 4 slices of his bread when I was drunk and had the munchies but the next day I bought him an entire loaf to make up for the four bread slices.

So logically I know I shouldn't feel bad... but just the way he's acting. My brother told me he's really p*ssed off at me. I understand this is annoying for him for work tomorrow, but is it that big of a deal that he is going to have to bring a peanut butter sandwhich for one day as opposed to a meat sandwhich? He's acting like kind of a jerk now that I think about it... I guess I'm just all worked up because this contributes to the feeling that he doesn't like me and that people in general don't like me. I can't help but feel like I've screwed up majorly.

 

[ThisGuyRightHere]

yeah you're stressin' too hard on this. you should be like, "look b, sorry about eating your lunch. sheet happens. my bad."

 

[StevenGlansberg]

Why is HE getting so upset over lunch meat? Throw him a dollar, say sorry, and if he doesn't like it tell him to piss off.

 

[Madison_Rose]

Good for you for knowing that you shouldn't feel bad. Keep reminding yourself of that and thinking about it logically.

 

[Keirelle]

Ugh. Sorry I have no advice but you sound EXACTLY like me. Just replace it and try to forget it. I know how impossible that is, but he will get over it.

 

[shyvr6]

At the same time, B does a lot of stuff that I never say anything about. He never cleans and I always have to clean up after him. He broke the glass in the cabinet that my mom lent my brother and I and he never replaced it. I have bought the household toilet paper for the last two weeks and he has been using it and hasn't contributed any. And I NEVER eat his food. One time I ate 4 slices of his bread when I was drunk and had the munchies but the next day I bought him an entire loaf to make up for the four bread slices.

You should really tell him about this. I bet it will make you feel a lot better and it will probably give your brother's friend some insight that he needs to get off of his high horse. Seriously, you should.

 

[LateJuly]

You sound like a really sweet and sincere person, dont change that for anything.
You have nothing to feel sorry about and frankly anyone who makes such a big deal out of something as trivial as food needs a good kick in the ***. You don't owe anyone anything, and i dont reccomend spending any effort trying to make things right. You're already there and it sounds like your brother and this B guy are just having a power trip to feed their ridiculous egos.

Don't let bad company corrupt good character

 

[nemasket]

The guy sounds like he's acting like a jerk in this case. You apologized and offered to replace it - there's absolutely nothing he should be pissed about. The text message is just so over-the-top and ridiculous, and clearly as someone else said a power trip on his part.

I think a hard thing about having SA is the guilt that comes when we inevitably do something wrong. Everyone "eats their roommate's lunch meat", or insults someone accidentally, or runs into someone when they're walking - it's just part of life. People without SA can usually just shrug off their mistakes as not being perfect and excusable (especially if they're as well-meaning as you are). If they were faced with your roommate making a huge deal over a very little mistake, they would rightly label him as being a jerk.

Just because you made one mistake doesn't mean you should feel like you are a horrible person - eating some lunch meat doesn't warrant more action on your part than you've already offered to take. If anything, you should feel good that you lived up to being a kind and thoughtful person. I hope you feel better.

 

[Phibes]

It's just some food dude dw, he's probably making a big deal about it so you do exactly what you're doing and start grovelling at his feet and then he'll molest you.
Maybe he is in love with you.

forget it.

 

[Social_butterfly00]

Wow, thanks guys! You're absolutely right. He does need to get off his high horse. I guess it's just so easy for others to make me feel bad about myself. I automatically assume the actions of others are "correct", and that that's how people should behave and I should be behaving differently. Especially since he's the life of the party type of guy, loud, outspoken, always making jokes. And then there's me... quiet, to myself, meager, person who tip toes around the house. So it's like we have this giant energy towering over this little energy. Also he's a guy and I have major issues when it comes to guys. I'm just afraid of them in general lol.

But I'll replace it today and I'm sure he'll get over it.

 

[wtf?]

Ha...lunch meat. What a douche.

 

[acceptance]

It sounds like the typical response you'd expect from an overbearing alpha male type, who's just trying to impose his authority over you because he see's himself as the dominant one.

 

[Bredwh]

I have huge anxiety issues when it comes to people liking me. I'm always worried people don't like me. I sort of walk around life assuming others already don't like me and it's my job to get them to like me.

I'm the opposite. I assume everyone does like me and am therefore afraid of doing anything to change that.