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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Do you feel like a tag along? They don't want you there, but they pity you so they "allow you to be there". I personally would like to be told to **** off, than to not know for sure, what is going on.

My situation, is a school situation. I am too old to not know how to socialize, and it is getting harder to learn, I know that school is to , do your work, study, but people meet others there too.

I guess I do not have direction as to where this thread is supposed to go, but I just want to vent, and try and feel a little better by not feeling so alone, if someone here can relate.
 

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I felt like a tag along with my friends. We used to hang out every Sunday but they would only invite me because we had been hanging out for so long.

I'm in the same boat. Do you want to chat sometime? My twitter is mcpon14.
 

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I can relate to how you are feeling. I seemed to be the "tie-breaker" between my friends during their bouts of shopping or fanatical debates. I always had the strength and ability to say no. I felt obligated at times, since we had been friends for so long, so I would tag along and deal with it.

Now that I've moved away, and moved on, I can see through objectivity that I'm worth more than an opinion, or a word here and there. I have chosen to not allow myself to be used, and therefore I'm happier for it.

I don't blame them for putting me in the situation, as it was entirely my choice to go. I chose to be used as opposed to valuing my self-worth. Perhaps it was just easier than moving outside of my comfort zone, but in the long run, I realize I wasted precious time for my own selfish reasons.

School is hard enough, but remember that you have the power and ability to chose your friends, and not just go along with others because it's easy. The last thing you want to do is regret all the time wasted on people who didn't care in the first place. With having SA, it can be challenging, but it's up to you to run your life...not let your life run you. You are strong, and you are powerful when it comes to certain situations, and always remember that there are people who care for you, and enrich your life; albeit they can sometimes difficult to find. Life is an adventure...and it is all in what you make of it.

Best of luck...believe in yourself and you will achieve greatness...{{{hugs}}}
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I can relate to how you are feeling. I seemed to be the "tie-breaker" between my friends during their bouts of shopping or fanatical debates. I always had the strength and ability to say no. I felt obligated at times, since we had been friends for so long, so I would tag along and deal with it.

Now that I've moved away, and moved on, I can see through objectivity that I'm worth more than an opinion, or a word here and there. I have chosen to not allow myself to be used, and therefore I'm happier for it.

I don't blame them for putting me in the situation, as it was entirely my choice to go. I chose to be used as opposed to valuing my self-worth. Perhaps it was just easier than moving outside of my comfort zone, but in the long run, I realize I wasted precious time for my own selfish reasons.

School is hard enough, but remember that you have the power and ability to chose your friends, and not just go along with others because it's easy. The last thing you want to do is regret all the time wasted on people who didn't care in the first place. With having SA, it can be challenging, but it's up to you to run your life...not let your life run you. You are strong, and you are powerful when it comes to certain situations, and always remember that there are people who care for you, and enrich your life; albeit they can sometimes difficult to find. Life is an adventure...and it is all in what you make of it.

Best of luck...believe in yourself and you will achieve greatness...{{{hugs}}}
Thank you, no matter how bad it gets I will not give up
 

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To heck with friends all they do is s*** on you and use you. Sorry no help here. I have been so much happier than I was with friends.
 

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That's how I feel. My roommates would say were friends, but I even have a hard time saying that we are friends. I expressed those same exact words - being a tag a long and them just pitying me.

Sorry that this doesn't help.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
That's how I feel. My roommates would say were friends, but I even have a hard time saying that we are friends. I expressed those same exact words - being a tag a long and them just pitying me.

Sorry that this doesn't help.
It helps a little, at least I'm not the only one that feels this way
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
No matter what happens, I will not give up trying to talk to people. I don't care how many rejections I get. I am not going to take things personal, if I feel they do not want me there, or that they don't want to speak to me I am not going to let it bother me. That is all you can do really, everyone, even the most social people get rejected, not everyone is liked by everyone.

Sometimes people have other **** going on in their life, that they seem distant so you can't take it personal, or think they must hate you. Just let it go, even if they do hate you.
I will also continue talking to girls, getting to know them and ask them out, no matter if every girl I ask is taken, one has to be single. I also want female friends because I have never had one.
 

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If that's how it is

learn to become your own friend , embrace your own company :)
Probably harder than making friends, but also the essential first step to making them. Being your own friend will help you be confident, which will make others more receptive to being your friend.

As for the main topic, I've dealt with this a lot myself. Feeling like an "accessory" to whatever was going on has always held me back from all kinds of social opportunities, and I've only recently started to make progress against it. It comes back to loving yourself again, since that's the best way to not feel like an accessory. Feel confident in yourself and that you can add something to what's happening now. That way, even if you never make any other friends, things won't ever feel empty.
 

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I feel the same way. If I'm with people when they're making plans they'll invite me along, but if I'm not there at the time none of them would text me or let me know they were doing something. I only find out about it when I see the pictures they post or hear them talk about all the awesome times they've had and I have nothing to say. I feel so stupid just sitting there pretending to laugh along. I'm always out of the loop.

And there is always someone who says "oh, why didn't you come along? you should've came with us." An invite would have been nice.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Thanks for the replies.

I have been wondering, is there any truth to the thought that maybe we exclude ourselves, before they exclude us. For example, we probably do not look like we want to be there, we may give off a "vibe" even though we want to be included.
 

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I always assume people ask me with them out of pity and politely refuse, this is probably all in my head and people want me there but it freaks me out.
Really still have no idea how to deal with it, I actually do want to go but I'm my own worst enemy in these situations.
 
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