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This anxiety just immobilizes me physically, hindering me from being able to live my life to the fullest. I really really hate it. I mean, I've probably told my therapist this a million times, so I don't really feel the need to tell her. At times, and this probably sounds so stereotypically like a teenager, I really feel like few to no people will understand me.

At times I think "**** society, I am the way I am" but other times I feel so pressured to live up to the expectation of being outgoing. I don't know what I want right now (not that I should since I'm still young). Part of me wants to be social, but at the same time I just feel so at ease in that shell of mine. I think it's because I want to get from Point A to Point Z, and I don't really want to go through the steps leading up to that, so as I result I close myself up.

Hopefully some or any of this made sense
 

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Hey i am right with you, i feel the same way alot of times, i have will the attitude of "f you, i am me, deal with it" but then i get a overwhelming feeling of having to live up to a certain image set my family, peers and society in general, it's something alot of people go through even those without SA, it's like i want to change and be out there more but then again i might lose myself along the way, it's a quandry definitely.
 

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Everyone's an individual but some or more individual than most. You are one of the latter. There's no reason why you ought to conform to the majorties expectations. If you're happy in your bubble then be pleased you've found contentment. Some of these outgoing people spend their lives restlessly seeking a state of happiness, and failing to find it. That's what their going out is all about. It's the pursuit of happiness.

I also know exactly what you mean about wanting to go from a-z without having to go through the other steps. It applies to so many things. Be it travelling, obtaining goals, learning things and indeed making friends. Wouldn't it be nice to skip the getting to know you bit?
 
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