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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Seriously. I tried for a while to make an effort with my coworker and my neighbor, but other people make me feel so awkward.

I try to speak authentically and people will just randomly giggle, even if I'm not saying anything funny. I don't have a speech impediment, though I suppose I have an eccentric appearance and mannerisms.

I'm rather reserved naturally so I end up being dominated in a 2 person conversation with people dumping their life stories on me. I just dread hearing it. It's only ever a 2 way interaction with people I'm close with, because I don't dump my life story on to people I know casually at best.

So basically I am made to be seen as some shy, socially awkward, goofy person who is not listened to nearly as much as they listen. It's getting better as I'm trying to share more about my own life but really, talking as a hassle when I could be doing more interesting stuff
 

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I couldn't agree more. Sure, anxiety is a huge thing in my life and social interactions, but once I do start speaking to people in order to fight this lonely feeling deep down, I find it so exhausting and often quite boring too.

When I'm anxious and I have to socialise, it does help to know that people only want to talk about themselves so I only ask questions, act interested, nod, smile, ask more questions .... but again ... so exhausting and honestly, I'd rather just be alone with my cats who never bore me.

It is so rare to find truly interesting people I suppose, or people with whom it just clicks. I've met 2 great people in my life, people I could be myself around (I'm also quite'odd/different') but sadly when they got married we lost touch. It feels hopeless on most days; I want to meet people, I want to socialise, I don't want to feel lonely. but when I try to socialise, I just want to go home.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I want to socialise, I don't want to feel lonely. but when I try to socialise, I just want to go home.
I feel the same. As sad as it sounds, I think I really only want friends so I can have people to do things with. All of the emotional support bull**** can go towards my family, significant other, and best friend. Them and maybe a handful of other people I actually enjoy in depth conversation with.

Sometimes I feel bad towards my coworker cause I want to be her friend, she's a woman around my age, but I just think listening to documentaries through my headphones is more interesting than small talk sometimes, although we've had interesting conversations

Just tonight I skipped going to a meetup group that I'm actually semi active in because I decided I'd rather paint and build up my catalogue of prints than be in a crowded bar, even if my friends may be there. Now I'm actually rather excitement seeking, but being cozy inside pursuing my passion just sounds better than being in a bar so loud I can't even hear other people
 

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It is always tough having the choose/balance between doing what you truly enjoy in sacrifice of feeling lonely, or doing things with others in what you don't really enjoy to fill your void of lack of human interactions. I think as long as you're trying to balance between the two, you can do no wrong. I use to always tell myself 'whenever I am caught between these, I can always seek out the other later'. Although now for me, socializing and social plans rarely happen for me, so I kind of miss that aspect, while I'm getting tired of always doing solitude activities which were something I use to enjoy a lot.
 
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