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How can you come on here and complain every day that you hate your life and that you'll never get better when you're not even taking the necessary steps to beating your anxiety? Like obviously you're not gonna get better if you do nothing towards getting better! Jesus, some of you just need a slap in the face. I don't like seeing so many people suffer, the choice is in your hands. You can either moan and do nothing and continue to suffer or try your hardest make progress. GET UP AND TRY, PLEASE.
 

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True in so many ways, TBH.

I think a lot of us probably convince ourselves that we've been trying all our lives to no avail, but I can honestly say I'm not trying nearly enough in general.

I guess it's almost like an "addiction" to avoiding anxiety...
 

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I've tried so many times and failed.

I think what would make my anxiety be less of a pain is new surroundings, I live in a really small depressing town in the middle of nowhere and its not exactly where I want to be for the rest of my life but I know I will be because I'm an ugly dunce with nothing to offer. Its always been a goal of mine to visit miami, L.A. and new york or to even live in one of them places one day but I dont want to be away from close family. I just wish to one day win the lottery then those goals can happen but until then I'm not going anywhere.
 

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too many failures already. And no support from friends because of not having real friends. Being laughed at or made fun of when trying to say something constantly just wears it all out eventually. At my age I just go with the short scripted platitudes to get through the day if I need to go to the stores or talk on the phone with some service. too late for me, but maybe not for those still in their 20's.

I remember an older guy say I didn't "try" getting a girl. Migosh, after so many failures? never mixing in with any crowd of my peers. Always being pecked on in the lowest order or ignored and distanced like a wet blanket? They just don't get it. I even lowered my standards to those less educated but not slum class, but still "friendzoned" as usual.
 

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I ask that question to myself constantly, though i do not believe it. My mind is a funny thing, and sometimes i let my feelings and thoughts get the better of me, but you have to realise your thoughts and feelings are YOU!. So it's like almost impossible to change, i can always come up with a very simple explanation to my problems, why i don't work harder and i wont get anywhere in the first place if i don't do something about it. But do i feel that way?, no, i just give up and have no hope at all.

I feel i will always be the same untill i actually have an experience which will change me entirely, but it's waiting on that experience which is the problem, or is that even the key in the first place?.
 

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you're not even taking the necessary steps to beating your anxiety
I take the necessary steps every evening after work. Walk in apartment. Shut door and lock it behind me. Sit down and breathe easy as nobody is around.

If it could only be that easy from 8-5, I'd be in heaven.
 

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Yes, but just because they do not complain doesn't mean they do no try. They come here for help. And honestly I see a lot of moaning back. I believe that a lot of these moaning responses, to those that complain and need help do not help either :D If you really want to help another, positively stimulate them :D
 

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How can you come on here and complain every day that you hate your life and that you'll never get better when you're not even taking the necessary steps to beating your anxiety? Like obviously you're not gonna get better if you do nothing towards getting better! Jesus, some of you just need a slap in the face. I don't like seeing so many people suffer, the choice is in your hands. You can either moan and do nothing and continue to suffer or try your hardest make progress. GET UP AND TRY, PLEASE.
THIS. :nw

The only way to make any changes in your life is to gather some motivation and do something about your issues. There's no easy way out.
 

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True in so many ways, TBH.

I think a lot of us probably convince ourselves that we've been trying all our lives to no avail, but I can honestly say I'm not trying nearly enough in general.

I guess it's almost like an "addiction" to avoiding anxiety...
i agree with this
but to the OP try get it into your little brain that some people are alot more damaged than you
 

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I think many are sincerely trying to get better, they just don't know how. I went to therapy for years and took dozens of medications all to no avail, though the meds did help my depression they did nothing for my anxiety except give me a physical dependence on benzos. I felt hopeless, the common treatments had failed me, I had to find another way.

I had developed some insight into the problem, but didn't know how to treat it. My problem is trying to be perfect, trying to mentally control the uncontrollable, ie the future. Worry is the ego's attempt or wish to control the future, it wants to control everything by finding a perfect solution. Worry goes round and round because its impossible to find a perfect solution to a problem.

I once read in a book that addicts are egomaniacs with an inferiority complex. We have much in common with them, they are just trying to avoid pain or control their emotions. We are all addicted to a perfect self image, or the pursuit of a perfect pain-free future. For what is anxiety other than an attempt to avoid future pain? If the ego didn't hold these things in such high regard, mistakes would be ok. It would be ok if people didn't like us, or we made a fool of ourselves. We wouldn't have feelings of terror that something terrible might come to pass.

So what have i learned from all this insight? To humbly accept most things are out of my control, for humility is the enemy of the ego. I've learned to turn my problems over to my Higher Power, I work the 12 steps of Emotions Anonymous. I'm not cured nor will I ever be, but have experienced moments of serenity even in the midst of benzo withdrawal hell. Turning to God was my last resort, I bargained I would do anything to get better while I was at rock bottom in the hospital. All I have to do though is believe and give up my ego. To the extent I do these I will get better, and I realize the only thing keeping me ill is myself.
 

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if you have no opportunity to try (invites, going out, friends etc) then its not possible, so I never try.
 

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With all due respect, I can't see how anyone on this site can know what people have tried or not. Folks might be busting their butts, heck just posting or venting takes great effort for many. Please be supportive to others, criticism from strangers who know nothing about us is rarely helpful.
 

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With all due respect, I can't see how anyone on this site can know what people have tried or not. Folks might be busting their butts, heck just posting or venting takes great effort for many. Please be supportive to others,criticism from strangers who know nothing about us is rarely helpful.
Agreed.
 

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Its easier said than done, that's all I can say. May I ask what the OP is doing herself to improve her circumstances? :)
 

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Yeah, as someone else said, a lot of people simply don't know how and that should be considered. I know a lot of people have SA 100x worse than me so it's easy for me to say "just do it." But a lot of people simply can't.
 

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Trying makes it only worse. I should never have tried to be more than a friend with someone, I wish I did never approach my first crush then I would still be happy like the time before I tried. Since then, every time I try I fail and get more depressed. Now, I decided to stop trying and take the few friends I have and will never have a girlfriend still better then trying for nothing.
 

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Yes, but just because they do not complain doesn't mean they do no try. They come here for help. And honestly I see a lot of moaning back. I believe that a lot of these moaning responses to those that complain and need help do not help either :D If you are really going to help another positively stimulate them :D
exactly
 

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How can you come on here and complain every day that you hate your life and that you'll never get better when you're not even taking the necessary steps to beating your anxiety? Like obviously you're not gonna get better if you do nothing towards getting better! Jesus, some of you just need a slap in the face. I don't like seeing so many people suffer, the choice is in your hands. You can either moan and do nothing and continue to suffer or try your hardest make progress. GET UP AND TRY, PLEASE.
Babe, it's a little more complicated than that, but I agree some.
 
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