Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 6 of 6 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
165 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I hear so much on this forum about setting goals for oneself, using baby steps to work yourself up to social interaction, etc. But I have so much confusion when i try to do this myself.

Many times I will plan to do something, something small and manageable, as in say "Hello" to the bus driver. However, I will be totally unable to actually do it. I will feel like crying afterwards, because despite how much I wanted to do it, no matter how small it was, i couldn't. Some days, even talking to my family makes me scared.

Other times, i can ask random strangers questions without much stress at all.

I don't understand. I feel like I PHYSICALLY am being stopped.I panic and remove myself.

Is this an indication that it is a biological problem, something that I need to take medication in order to remedy my behaviour, or am I just not trying hard enough? i have a strong avoidant personality...could it be that I am just trying to get out of trying?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
41 Posts
I hear so much on this forum about setting goals for oneself, using baby steps to work yourself up to social interaction, etc. But I have so much confusion when i try to do this myself.

Many times I will plan to do something, something small and manageable, as in say "Hello" to the bus driver. However, I will be totally unable to actually do it. I will feel like crying afterwards, because despite how much I wanted to do it, no matter how small it was, i couldn't. Some days, even talking to my family makes me scared.

Other times, i can ask random strangers questions without much stress at all.

I don't understand. I feel like I PHYSICALLY am being stopped.I panic and remove myself.

Is this an indication that it is a biological problem, something that I need to take medication in order to remedy my behaviour, or am I just not trying hard enough? i have a strong avoidant personality...could it be that I am just trying to get out of trying?
Hey, for once I can relate to someone almost exactly. Everything in your post was like a copy of my own life, or what I used to be like. I've moved on, and I'm quite a bit better now.

The trick is having the right mindset man. Persevere, you can do it.

Edit: I realized my post wasn't useful one bit, so here's some advice.

Don't let life get you down. Pardon my french, but **** what other people think of you. You live your life how you want to, not by someone eases standards. If you're weird, **** it, that's who you are. LIVE. YOUR. LIFE.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,936 Posts
You definitely seem to want to get better, so I think it's fair to wonder if it might be more than just a matter of willpower. You should definitely see if medication will help. There's no harm in trying.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
132 Posts
I don't know the answer to the behavior or biological question, but I have realized in the short 3 weeks I've been on this site that the vast majority of the people here express themselves extremely well in the written word. You all are articulate, reflective, and on the whole sincere with each other. I'm not sure I believe we collectively suffer from an inability to verbalize our thoughts. I believe the larger issues lies in the sheer amount of metacognition we perform before our thoughts become words. We seem to associate an innate gravity to the consequences of what we may say, creating a self perpetuating cycle of anxiety. I don't know the solution myself or I would not be here on a Friday night analyzing our dilemma. The silver lining in the SA cloud is the world of communication is moving more and more to the online world, in the future it may well be those who cannot compose themselves in cyberspace will be the ones who do not "fit" the mold...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,125 Posts
Force yourself to think positive. It will allow you to do things a lot easier without over analyzing them too much. Remember, negative thoughts are what is holding you back here. They're causing you to hesitate before every action. If you constantly cram your brain with the positive, how can their be any room for negativity?

Trust me, I just started experimenting with this the last few days, and it REALLY helps. You'll find yourself "just doing" things that were a constant struggle before. Almost like there's some invisible force giving you that extra push to make it happen.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
95 Posts
Ok. Now everyone is physically capable to say Hello :D You just have to make yourself to do it. If you won't do it first time, don't forget theres tomorrow. Just say yoursefl that you are still trying to overcome SA and this is just the begining. The thing is you are trying not hard enough. I was kinda same also thought I will do it, but just avoided things to do. Now I sometimes fear and doubt about doing something, but then I just think if I will do it I will progress faster and make myself to go and do it. That's all I can say.
 
1 - 6 of 6 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top