i think i know what you are getting at.
personally from what i observe and from my (very limited) experience, i felt there were so many expectations and so much pressure in "official" relationships.
some of those are realistic for some people, but not all. and nothings wrong with that, but people seem to have such narrow views of what a relationship should be like.
everyones different, everyone can do and can't do different things, everyone needs different amounts of space, etc. i get the feeling that rather than taking those into consideration there is still very set guidelines of what should go on in a relationship.
i find it really frustrating. i think i'm just pretty different from the average person and what makes me happy and what is comfortable for me isn't enough for the other person.
i think the expectations in relationships just cause much higher amounts of stress than needed, same with just dating.
it'd be great if people would just let go of them a bit and realize that you don't all have to strive to be a certain way and attain a certain goal.
it shouldn't be so black and white, and you can be happy with someone and not have to do all those things that you say you don't want to. you shouldn't have to feel that pressure. you can be just as independent with someone.
i guess with me i'm very very introverted and very quiet and private and i'd need someone who could respect that and understand that i can't talk on the phone all the time, i won't be talking constantly every time i see them, i don't always have a lot to respond with, i can't spend all my time with the other person and need to be alone often, etc. it seems rare that someone would understand though, because i'm just much more extreme than most people in that sense :|