Hello, i am here to talk about my loneliness, and my social anxiety. Im not going to give out my name because of all the people on the internet that know me. First, i think its appropriate to tell you guys what my day consists of. But first i must let you know some things, everyone at school seems like a mindless drone, i cant help but notice that everyone is so dull, all that people talk about are the newest ( J's ) and Miley Cyrus, our government is falling apart, our economy is falling apart, and people are falling apart, people don't have any "soul" anymore, they constantly hate and swear at each other, pick fights for no reason, and call each other names, everyday i feel like i don't belong here, and that i just want to live on another planet where everyone is not a carbon copy of the one beside them, i want to wake up to a world where people are caring, and ****! where they have any remorse or care for each other. everyday at 6:00 AM i wake up, take a shower, eat, and go to school, when i get to school i talk to people, ( acquaintances ), then i go to my first class. My first class is gym and when i am in there nobody socializes with me or invites me to be in their group(s), even in simple games like dodge ball, which, personally i think i am quite good at, nobody picks me. At the bell, i go to my second class which is, computer keyboarding. in that room, i don't know anyone, and nobody talks to me even when i make an effort to talk to them. The bell rings again, and i move on to my third class, which is, health, it is the same in health, only acquaintances, and no real friends, nobody will start a conversation with me, it seems like i have to. And then my last class, business, which i despise, nobody talks to me point blank in that class. I am not going to go into full detail because that would take up several pages. Anyways, i have not revived a text message from anyone but from my father, which i hate but am forced to see, and my mother which i don't have a relationship with anymore, this is because i am on my computer 24/7 to cope with the depression loneliness and all the hate i get from others, in over 6 months. This goes for calls also. Ever sense i was 6 i thought i was a failure because my father was always yelling at my mother and at me, from everything to grades in school, ( don't agree with how schools teach children ) and to how i had to take 3 weeks to learn how to tie my shoes, from how skinny i was, to how i don't like sports, to how i never conformed, and so on. everyday my mother ignores me and never says anything to me at all. so when i get home is when the isolation starts, whenever i try to talk to my mother about this she acts sincere, but then forgets about it shortly after. I have only had one girlfriend, but it was a long term relationship and we never saw each other but through the phone, i have never had a ( first kiss ), i have never had sex, i have never been to a party, i have never gotten all a's on a report card. at age 7 i was diagnosed with ADHD and Anxiety. The anxiety was never so bad as to i was worrying about everything, but just about stuff like the doctor and dentist and things. Everyday, i see people happy, and when the gay dude that sits 3 rows ahead of you has a boyfriend that easily in my school, you know there is a problem (our school is mostly straight). Some days i sit and contemplate life, what is the meaning, to wake up EVERYDAY TO FOLLOW A ROUTINE! To make ANOTHER MAN money in the workplace, to see others happy as i wither AWAY! what is it about me that is so HORRIBLE. To see those i CARE about be torn apart because of illness, or because of how they are bullied, to see men kill themselves on the news everyday, Life goes like this kids, Be born, go to school, get a job, make someone else money, AND DIE!. whats the point?!? Can it be that the system is meant to make your a miserable ****! excuse me. Sometimes i think it will get better, i go to places like the mall, i sit with other groups at lunch, but nothing ever connects, a good friend of mine used to say, the world is going to **** you up the ***, i guess he was right. I just want some closure. I could add more but this is already a sob story, Sorry about that. I just want someone to relate to, thanks for reading if you did, if you didn't, who the **** cares, nobody does.