[Speratus]

congrats,luck you :clap

but im pretty sure im stuck with this for life..im 19 and thats entirely too old to be changing in my case

Nah dude, I'm 19 (almost 20) and I'm just about over it! Wasn't easy, but I got lots of help and just tried to remind myself that courage is built by overcoming fear. Though difficult, it IS doable.