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Lost in New Babylon
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Of course, I'm not sure if that's what I'm really even looking for. Hopefully that will become apparent after writing a bit. Alright, so I've never had anything approaching a real relationship. I've had a handful of stalkers, several dates with one girl that didn't go anywhere, and something with a girl I liked that definitely wasn't a romance but was too strong on her end to be a friendship. I'd hoped that I'd find someone at college, but I'm a sophomore now and I still have no prospects. I've got a job, get good grades, have decent looks, miraculously managed to find a nice bunch of friends here, and generally consider myself be to an interesting if eccentric person. However, I've had absolutely no luck meeting a girl I find attractive. Part of that is SA of course (even though I'm in a lot of extracurricular activities I haven't met any new people this year), and the rest I can attribute to wanting a quality girl instead of just someone to have "happy fun times" with as my roommate would put it, but I just can't get over the fact that I'm alone. I've made so much progress since high school, yet I can't gain any headway here. It's gotten to the point that seeing couples holding hands will send me into a dark mood, although I am careful to always stay cheerful around other people. What do you do in this situation?

I can think of one person who might be worth looking into. While all of my female friends have been ruled out in one way or another, there is one girl who might prove interesting. She always says hello to me and seems know me from somewhere as she calls me by name, but I have no memory of where I may have met her. She's certainly friendly, she's not unattractive, and somehow I just get good vibes off her. I know that's a pretty weak case for picking someone to ask out on a date, but I'm really at a dead end. I'm thinking if I were to do this I should start a few small conversations before doing anything. An obvious opening would be admitting I can't recall her name but do remember her from somewhere. It's everything after that that has me stumped. What do I say in between that and asking her out (if she checks out after talking to her more), and how and when do I bring up doing anything with her? I also must admit that the idea of even talking to a girl I don't know freaks me out a bit. I have a lot of female friends, but I met most of them through other people. I have a horrible history of panicking just as I'm about to ask someone out, and I'd really like to avoid that if possible.

I guess I am asking for advice. Any ideas?
 

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I can very much relate to your situation. I feel like I've made a lot of progress with my S.A. over the last couple of years, except in the area of getting into a relationship. Just this past Saturday I was able to go to a concert with something like 55,000 people in attendance. It was scary for sure, but the music and show were amazing, so in the long run it was probably worth it for that experience. However, even though I went with 4 other people, and was surrounded by so many others, it just brought home how alone I truly feel right now without that "someone" to be there with.

As far as this girl you mention, you are right in that you have an easy opening conversation wise with the not being able to recall her name thing. Obviously you need to approach it carefully because she might be offended if you admit that you can't remember her name, so you need to approach it more in a way of, you feel bad that you can't remember her name when she knows yours, and you could say you don't want to appear rude by not getting to know her name. As for the rest of the conversation(s), I guess if she does know you from somewhere then she will bring up where and you can just talk about that.

Also, I know this sounds strange, but I think it's important not to try too hard to be interesting. I have found myself trying to force conversation with crushes in the past and it just seems awkward and I beat myself up for it afterwards thinking, "Why did I say that?" If there is something there the conversation will come naturally.

I'm afraid I can't really offer advice on actually asking her out, since I have no personal experience of that situation, but I think just talking to her and getting to know her a little more would be a good start.
 
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