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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
i was so hyped and ready to go. i wasnt even nervous on the drive there, but once i started walking in and saw that there was only a few ppl and thought to myself theres going to be alot of attention on me i acted like i was just an average customer and went up to the counter and bought something. the bad thing is that the lady recognized me, she looked so friendly and as i was walking towards them she gave me this really warm smile, but i just blew it. so now im pretty sure she and maybe some of the others recognize me. what should i do, i realize i messed up, but how awkward would it be if i was like yeah i was really here for the meetup group but i acted like i wasnt?
 

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She-Wolf
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was the meet-up for a social anxiety group?

if it was, then i'm sure if you are honest they would completely understand. anyway, don't be so hard on yourself. actually just walking in is pretty tough so the fact that you at least took one step in going is pretty good. there's always next time :)
i should mention that the beginning part of walking in and first getting there is always really scary, so you are not alone in feeling intimidated.
 

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dont worry about it. those meetup groups dont really work anyway. I tried a couple and never found the people who were supposed to be there.
First time said meet at this bar at 10pm. So Im there all alone, drinking alone, everyone else is in groups and having fun and Im just a total tool sitting by myself. About 11pm it starts to really get busy and crowded and I just dont see how it is possible to meet anybody here. Pointless!
 

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I also went to a social anxiety support group a few years ago. I was fine during it but then again I don't get typical anxiety such as sweating and jitters. My problem is that I replay conversations afterward, assume that I came off in a negative fashion and feel that people disliked me.

The group had fewer people than I was hoping, only about five others. A larger group would have made me feel more at ease as I wouldn't have felt the pressure to talk so much. As it was, I believe the members were regulars who knew each other well. Since I was the newbie, they peppered me with questions for most of the two hours. Another thing which bothered me was that it was blazing hot at the time and I had walked around looking for the place for fifteen minutes after I got off the bus. As a result, I was sweating profusely and probably stinking when I went into the building.

Even though I admire that the group exists and has been going strong for so long, I haven't yet gone back and probably won't. I've considered going a few times but decided against it because I'm afraid of a similarly small showing of members.
 

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Well, think about it. Is "chickening out" really a bad thing? Chickens run from people for good reasons. People want to chop their heads off and eat them. :rub
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
so do you guys think i should talk to her personally, maybe send her message explaining the situation. i mean just by the way she looks it seems like shes a really sweet person so maybe she would understand.
 

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I'm also with the opinion that the group would understand, after all it is a group for social anxiety

don't be so hard on yourself, you did good by taking that first step in going to the meeting:)
 

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What I learned about myself when I did the same thing that you have over the years is that one mistake does not make for a total failure. There were hundreds and thousands of times where I fell short of what I wanted to do, or where I avoided social contact when people were expecting it and where I felt very embarrassed for doing so.

However, like other people have noted here, I found that if I just explained that, "I was having a rough day and didn't feel like talking to anyone," or something similar, most people understood and moved on. Further, I also noticed that most people didn't notice or care about the majority of "mistakes" that I thought I had made.

Finally, if I am understanding this correctly and this is a social anxiety group you were going to meet, they will be doubly understanding because most, if not all, socially anxious people have done the exact same thing you just did many times before themselves. So, just explain that your social anxiety caused you to freak out, and they will understand and mostly be glad that you had the courage to come to the group and face your fears.
 

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TheCraftyVeteran,

I wouldn't beat myself up over it if I were you. There will be plenty of opportunities. :yes
 

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Don't let it stop you from making the next meeting date. You were able to accomplish this much on this meeting, the next maybe you can take it a little bit farther. Good for you for showing up!!
 

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Hey man, just think "how many sitting there have done the same thing"? I guess you were not the only one to do that. They will completely understand.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
yeah i was just thinking of going, i hope no one recognizes me, i hope the host has a really bad memory lol. i really need this in my life right now so i need to suck it up.
 
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