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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
There is this girl at work, I can't know for sure but by the way she acts around me and talks to me, she either really likes me or has a crush on me. She's already asked me out to do stuff just me and her, like movies or dinner, but I've declined each time. But at work she keeps coming over to my desk and talk, she does it all the time when we're both there...but she's kinda weird and creeps me out. It's hard for me to describe, but she says weird stuff sometimes, or tries to make conversations that are odd which makes me feel very uncomfortable, and sometimes irritating.

For the time I've known her, almost 2 years, I can say that she has similar traits as to someone who has SA...for example she has low self-esteem, seems to have a hard time making real friends, and is a little odd in her personality. But she isn't someone who is socially anxious, she likes attention, she seeks attention and she enjoys talking to other people...

I know she values my friendship, even tough it's not a real friendship because I am often cold and distant with her, and avoid getting too personal, so if I say something to upset her I know it will really hurt her feelings.

I wouldn't be like this if it were any other girl. She really creeps me out, and normally even tough I'm shy and anxious around women, nothing makes me happier than when they talk to me or give me attention, but in her case it's totally different.

I've thought about letting her know, but not sure what to say and how to say it. I really don't want to hurt this girl's feelings, because deep down I feel she has some issues, I can't be sure tough.

Thoughts welcome.
 

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I think anything you say will hurt her feelings. You said you are cold and distant with her and she still doesn't get the hint, so the only solution would be to outright tell her, but that won't go well since you have to work with her. Can you work a different shift to get away from her?
 

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i wouldnt reject her if i where in your situation you know how hard for us to even get close to a woman at all XD
anyway why are ya saying shes weird i mean waht she talk about
and how does she look maybe your not attracted to her because shes ugly or something
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I think anything you say will hurt her feelings. You said you are cold and distant with her and she still doesn't get the hint, so the only solution would be to outright tell her, but that won't go well since you have to work with her. Can you work a different shift to get away from her?
I can't work a different shift. I work 4 days a week, but only see her twice. She recently changed her early shift for a late shift, and I don't see any reason why she'd decide to do that unless she wanted to see me more. I work late shifts. I'm not sure if she did it because of me, but I'm suspecting she did.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
i wouldnt reject her if i where in your situation you know how hard for us to even get close to a woman at all XD
anyway why are ya saying shes weird i mean waht she talk about
and how does she look maybe your not attracted to her because shes ugly or something
It's hard to describe her weirdness. But just to give you an example, she will often ask weird and random questions...for example she will talk about circumcision, how guys with enjoy sex better...she will talk about abortion, ask questions about that out loud to me out of nowhere...just today she was asking me if I wanted kids, when I said maybe one day, she said you want to practise having kids in the meantime? I was like WTF? And she often makes these comments loud enough for other people to hear them, this make makes extremely un comfortable... I find her overall very annoying.

Her looks are average or OK. But her personality is such a turn-off that I really don't care for her looks. I'm in no way attracted to her.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
tell her you have a girlfriend now, she'll lose interest in you but you still want to be good friends with her
Anything I tell her is a reason more for her to talk with me and find ways to make me feel un-comfortable. If I tell her I have a girlfriend she will ask me a million questions about her. I don't think that's a solution.
 

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well i think she does like you, i know a girl just like that and yeah thats kinda weird the bad kind of wierd.
i first thought you talked about her being weird as having a random joke humor cos i love random stuff humor lol.
 

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Randomly bringing up abortion and circumcision is pretty wtf
Maybe you could attempt to move the conversation towards letting her know you're uncomfortable? Like, maybe even asking her why she has brought up such a strange topic.
if she asks another weird question, you could say something quite casual along the lines of "gosh you like to talk about some really strange things" or "why on earth did you ask me that?!" and then depending on her response tell her you feel uncomfortable when she talks about sensitive topics. At least then it's out in the open... It might hurt her feelings, but at least you're saying it's that particular kind of conversation that you don't like, rather than her as a person.
 

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It's hard to describe her weirdness. But just to give you an example, she will often ask weird and random questions...for example she will talk about circumcision, how guys with enjoy sex better...she will talk about abortion, ask questions about that out loud to me out of nowhere...just today she was asking me if I wanted kids, when I said maybe one day, she said you want to practise having kids in the meantime? I was like WTF? And she often makes these comments loud enough for other people to hear them, this make makes extremely un comfortable... I find her overall very annoying.
lol she really speaks weird. i feel a little sorry for her. she probably likes you and doesn't understand that makes you feel uncomfortable.
i think you should just tell her honestly that you don't have nothing in common and you are not interested.
 

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It's hard to describe her weirdness. But just to give you an example, she will often ask weird and random questions...for example she will talk about circumcision, how guys with enjoy sex better...she will talk about abortion, ask questions about that out loud to me out of nowhere...just today she was asking me if I wanted kids, when I said maybe one day, she said you want to practise having kids in the meantime? I was like WTF? And she often makes these comments loud enough for other people to hear them, this make makes extremely un comfortable... I find her overall very annoying.

Her looks are average or OK. But her personality is such a turn-off that I really don't care for her looks. I'm in no way attracted to her.
Wow, those questions aren't suitable for a small chit-chat! I mean with abortion, that's pretty much in the region of politics, at least in America. As for circumcision, that's a bit too personal, especially for guys. And as for the question on whether you want to practice having kids in the meantime, that sounded too suggestive, if you know what I mean. Now I see why you want to avoid her; I would too.
 

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It's hard to describe her weirdness. But just to give you an example, she will often ask weird and random questions...for example she will talk about circumcision, how guys with enjoy sex better...she will talk about abortion, ask questions about that out loud to me out of nowhere...just today she was asking me if I wanted kids, when I said maybe one day, she said you want to practise having kids in the meantime? I was like WTF? And she often makes these comments loud enough for other people to hear them, this make makes extremely un comfortable... I find her overall very annoying.

Her looks are average or OK. But her personality is such a turn-off that I really don't care for her looks. I'm in no way attracted to her.
If she thinks you are good friends I don't see those questions as being too weird. Sure you wouldn't bring something like that up to a stranger but if you're comfortable with someone you might.
 

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There is this girl at work, I can't know for sure but by the way she acts around me and talks to me, she either really likes me or has a crush on me. She's already asked me out to do stuff just me and her, like movies or dinner, but I've declined each time.
You said, "I can't know for sure" (if she likes you). You then said she has asked you out to the movies or a dinner with her. My question is, how can you not know whether she likes you or not when she came right out and asked you to the movies and a dinner??

I think she has made it as about as clear as she can make it that she likes you. I'm just curious about this because I thought it was very odd that you said "I can't know for sure" after she has basically, for all intent and purposes, asked you out.
 

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I don't know. Telling her you are not comfortable talking about that or she's making you uncomfortable or you're busy and can't talk. Might be worth a try but sometimes/often it seems people either don't get a hint message or choose not to. And you are forced into a confrontation being the percieved bad guy to get them to stop.

Is there a radio or tv there. That's daily newspaper stuff and could be passing time friendly random chit chat.

I think it would be helpful if more women you are attracted to were forward like the practice making babies thing. ha ha It's a conversation starter for sure.
If it was privately & not to try and laugh at you in front of people or something. Hopefully it's not a private joke on you where she's telling the others 'hey watch this' & then proceeds to come over to you and knowingly make you uncomfortable.
 

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It's hard to describe her weirdness. But just to give you an example, she will often ask weird and random questions...for example she will talk about circumcision, how guys with enjoy sex better...she will talk about abortion, ask questions about that out loud to me out of nowhere...just today she was asking me if I wanted kids, when I said maybe one day, she said you want to practise having kids in the meantime? I was like WTF? And she often makes these comments loud enough for other people to hear them, this make makes extremely un comfortable... I find her overall very annoying.
Oh dear. Talking about stuff like like that is a bid for intimacy - I don't mean physical intimacy, it's just that talking about stuff like that is kind of intimate. No wonder it makes you uncomfortable, I think it would make most people uncomfortable. Sounds like she does have a bit of a thing for you, either that or she's being subtly aggressive by deliberately making you uncomfortable. I think next time she starts you should just say to her, politely but firmly, that you don't want to discuss such things - trying to start such conversations in a loud voice in a workplace is pretty inappropriate.
 

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Ha. I once had a girl like that at work, who obviously had a crush on me and kept appearing out of nowhere to try to start conversations. In my case, it wasn't so much that she annoyed me as that she looked like Chuckie from Child's Play. Ironically, I think my awkwardness kind of saved me in the end. Like this was an approximate transcript of one of our last conversations (at a bar):

Girl: Hey ___, how's it going?
Me: Good, how about you?
Girl: I can't complain
Me: Yeah, me neither
[awkward silence]
Me: Well, I guess I could complain if I put my mind to it
Girl: Yeah, me too but it's not really worth the effort
[awkward silence]
Me: Well, I guess it's fun sometimes
Girl: Yeah, sometimes
[awkward silence]
Me: So I need to go to the bathroom, but I'll be right back.
[didn't come back]
 
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