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MKarlie
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I used to hang out with a group of five guys, and to be honest I could never really connect with any of them. The reason being they all were addicted to football. Every conversation would be about it. I don't really like sports so I could never contribute, eventually they just left me really.

When I started university I met a whole new group of people. I found out only two of them were interested in football, so usually it wouldn't be the topic being discussed. Problem is now I can't relate to anyone my age, because I've had such a rubbish life compared to them.

They are all very cheerful all the time, which is exhausting for me as I always feel sad. So I always have to pretend. They talk about girls all the time, and having sex. I always lie and say I have as well. Truth is I've never even had a proper friend who was a girl.

They also love getting drunk and going out, which for me is horrible because I'm lazy and have social anxiety. So it got to the point where I was going out of my way to avoid any contact with them. Eventually they stopped talking to me, apart from the occasional 'sup' in the hallway.

So now I'm alone again. I keep getting told I should find people with similar interests to me. But I just don't know how. I'm too shy to go around interviewing people and my interests are a bit hard to find in others. If you're wondering my interests are playing piano, skydiving, body building, tennis and chilling in the pub. I might be starting karate next year as well.

Does anyone know how I can find people who are similar to me? I think my social anxiety is holding me back from doing so.
 

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Hey :) It's true that making friends is easier when you get together with people that share the same interests as you. You said you might start karate, I'm doing taekwondo and I met -alot- of nice, friendly people there. We are forced into physical contact with eachtoher when we train, so our connection is quite good.

Also taekwondo teaches a lot about yourself. People that practice martial arts usually has a strong self understanding and discipline.

Good luck :) I'm sure you will find new friends
 

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If you're wondering my interests are playing piano, skydiving, body building, tennis and chilling in the pub. I might be starting karate next year as well.

Does anyone know how I can find people who are similar to me? I think my social anxiety is holding me back from doing so.
I agree with Ovski. Martial arts can be a great way to meet people who are like you. I've been taking kung fu classes since April. While I haven't really made any friends (and I haven't tried), everyone there is nice and supportive. Also, almost everyone there is into health in general, so they're not out getting hammered every night. A guy your age is almost guaranteed to find a friend at a martial arts school.

You also mentioned tennis. There are several sites just for finding a tennis partner. I used one several years ago. Here's a couple for you in the UK:

http://www.tennispartner.net/
http://www.globaltennisnetwork.com/

I also play piano myself. I've never used it to meet people, but I know it's possible. There are many piano groups where people get together to play, put on recitals, practice, etc.

http://piano.meetup.com/

You also mentioned skydiving. That sounds like it would be a good way to meet some interesting people. I mean, it's an uncommon hobby.

http://skydiving.meetup.com/

Anyway, I understand how you feel. It is hard to meet new friends when you have SA. And the older you get, the harder it becomes. But you have so many interests that I think you won't have any trouble once you get out there and around people who share your hobbies.
 

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I'm afraid I don't have much useful advice...I tend to stay away from most people. I don't try to find friends.
 

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MKarlie
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276 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I agree with Ovski. Martial arts can be a great way to meet people who are like you. I've been taking kung fu classes since April. While I haven't really made any friends (and I haven't tried), everyone there is nice and supportive. Also, almost everyone there is into health in general, so they're not out getting hammered every night. A guy your age is almost guaranteed to find a friend at a martial arts school.

You also mentioned tennis. There are several sites just for finding a tennis partner. I used one several years ago. Here's a couple for you in the UK:

http://www.tennispartner.net/
http://www.globaltennisnetwork.com/

I also play piano myself. I've never used it to meet people, but I know it's possible. There are many piano groups where people get together to play, put on recitals, practice, etc.

http://piano.meetup.com/

You also mentioned skydiving. That sounds like it would be a good way to meet some interesting people. I mean, it's an uncommon hobby.

http://skydiving.meetup.com/

Anyway, I understand how you feel. It is hard to meet new friends when you have SA. And the older you get, the harder it becomes. But you have so many interests that I think you won't have any trouble once you get out there and around people who share your hobbies.
Thanks
 
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