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Does anyone else have this problem?

All of my life, my mother (and others) have told me that if you do something enough, you get used to it and it becomes a routine that you really don't mind. The problem for me has been that I've only found this to be true for things that I actually enjoy.

An example is getting up and going to work every morning. I just can't do it indefinitely. It never becomes "routine" for me to do something I hate. If I hate doing it, I will sit around constantly trying to think of how I can get out of it and I'll eventually do something desperate because there's just no realistic alternative to whatever it is. In the example of working, every night I will sit and debate whether or not I should try and call in sick or whether or not I can make it another day. Going to work never becomes enough of a habit that I can do it without being miserable.

Compare this to something like smoking. I smoked 2 packs a day for 20 years because I loved smoking. Absolutely loved it. It wasn't a task. Besides the addiction, it was just pleasant to do. However, without the physical addiction, there were probably times when I would have quit smoking simply because I was tired of going to the store to buy cigarettes.

If there's one thing I absolutely can't stand, it's routine. I hate things that must be done repetitively. I have a hard time with my hygiene because I simply see no point in cleaning up every day for no reason. If I had to, I would but I wouldn't like it and after a while, I'd start cutting corners and even trying to avoid it entirely.

I don't have a laundry day. I do my laundry but I do it whenever the mood strikes. It would drive me batty to have a set day and time when I have to do it.

I don't even sleep on a schedule. It would drive me nuts. I go to bed when I'm tired and get up when I'm ready to get up.

When it comes to a routine, I could probably do it for a while but each task that was piled on would make it just that little bit harder and the problem is that I will always, without fail, either slip slowly back into my old behavior or just completely give up suddenly because it drove me to the breaking point.

This happens every time I try to make the smallest change in my life and is a big part of the reason I get upset when someone tells me all I have to do is change this or that. It never lasts and I always lapse right back into whatever is the most convenient and comfortable behavior.

Anybody else have this problem? Any thoughts? I'm pretty sure I have a bit of ADD or something going on but I think it's more than that.
 

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Beautiful Mess
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I recommend you read The New Mood Therapy book by David Allen, MD.
 
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