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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This is the conclusion Ive come to after making my other thread and realizing it basically boiled down to this.

Once I get to know someone well and they accept me despite my weirdness, I am not all that bad socially. Girls like me (well, some of them) they tell me that I am smart, unique, loyal, interesting and responsive to their needs.

I'm sure there is a girl out there who would like to have me as her boyfriend. The whole problem, is how the heck do I meet and get to know her? Meeting her isn't enough, because it is highly unlikely to result in anything lasting. The only way I am able to get to know someone, is by being forced to spend time with them day after day. I've never made a friend by just hitting it off with someone I just met, no, all the friendships I developed in my life came through school, work, etc. A situation where we were together to do something besides just enjoy each others company. The enjoying of each others company came later as an effect.

In other words, I need to somehow be forced to be around girls and get to know them, then perhaps I will meet one who would be interested in being my girlfriend. Can anyone think of a way I might go about this? I am thinking I need to either get a job with female coworkers or join some kind of organization, or expedition, anything really it doesnt matter. All that matters is that we have a reason to be around each other aside from attempting to enjoy each others company so I dont have to worry about being entertaining.
 

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The only way I am able to get to know someone, is by being forced to spend time with them day after day. I've never made a friend by just hitting it off with someone I just met, no, all the friendships I developed in my life came through school, work, etc. A situation where we were together to do something besides just enjoy each others company. The enjoying of each others company came later as an effect.
That's very true for me too unfortunately. This one just doesn't readily form strong social bonds for some reason. I like people, just, if I personally value them, I don't really show it by being around them more. Often I just want to leave them more space and not put demands on their attention. If not that, and I can act more friendly, then I seem to half subsidize my friendliness anyway, and act socially half hoping it will grow on me to act that way more naturally. It does, over time, though it's hard for me to gauge my degree of appreciation for people. You're not really sure to what degree it's ok to indulge your sense of loneliness. Ime ... not very much.
 

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You're false buddy... I have only friends who are female and let me tell you I've even fallen in love with many of them and I have tried to get them to know me more and stuff, in the end I always got rejected... And now I'm starting to think that maybe if I had male friends instead, I'd probably find a girlfriend because girls nowadays like social guys. So, I, being unsocial, tend to get boring around those girls that's why they can never look at me in a love kinda way, but rather as a friend... One even spit it out in my face once and told me that I was too manly to be around girls talking about make up and stuff (lol that was cold) but it's true, if you're male why would you care about girls' make-up (maybe you would if you're into styles and stuff, but that's very rare)
I just don't want you to get rejected, it hurts a lot!! Stick with every male friend you can afford and I promise girls would come by themselves...
It is also a way to get around the idiots who would call you gay just because you hang out with girls lol (I know they called me that)
And yes, I agree on the point that you should force yourself into interacting with others through engaging in activities and classes etc... You know what I call them? Social domains (that's weird I know lol), since most of us can't really just bump into someone and be like "Hiiiii I'm your next door neighbour my name is Alan, would you want to like, take coffee sometime?" then those Social Domains are key to forced social interactions... Erm I'm thinking about going to a gym, being part of a swiming club and add some kickboxing on top of it, and take whatever classes I like just to extend my area of "forced interactions" so that when I get home I'd say to myself "Yeah well today was awesome, I did something at least", it's better than staying the whole day home praying that someone would knock my door, by luck, and try to know me, why don't yo do the same?! (also trying getting a job if you're old enough to; you wouldn't resist those waitresses' sexy clothes now can you?! :D ) I know it's easily said than done , I'm not even sure I could pull it off myself, but I think you can!! I believe in you... Good luck
 

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This is the conclusion Ive come to after making my other thread and realizing it basically boiled down to this.

Once I get to know someone well and they accept me despite my weirdness, I am not all that bad socially. Girls like me (well, some of them) they tell me that I am smart, unique, loyal, interesting and responsive to their needs.

I'm sure there is a girl out there who would like to have me as her boyfriend. The whole problem, is how the heck do I meet and get to know her? Meeting her isn't enough, because it is highly unlikely to result in anything lasting. The only way I am able to get to know someone, is by being forced to spend time with them day after day. I've never made a friend by just hitting it off with someone I just met, no, all the friendships I developed in my life came through school, work, etc. A situation where we were together to do something besides just enjoy each others company. The enjoying of each others company came later as an effect.

In other words, I need to somehow be forced to be around girls and get to know them, then perhaps I will meet one who would be interested in being my girlfriend. Can anyone think of a way I might go about this? I am thinking I need to either get a job with female coworkers or join some kind of organization, or expedition, anything really it doesnt matter. All that matters is that we have a reason to be around each other aside from attempting to enjoy each others company so I dont have to worry about being entertaining.
"Being entertaining" really isn't that difficult. The key is "synthetic opportunism" where you take ideas out of context and apply the wrong grammar towards understanding them. It shows creative thinking because you don't simply state the obvious. You also show security because you're unpredictable, and you help alleviate stress because you're not analyzing things like they're problems that need to be solved. Instead, you're sympathizing with someone's plight in helping get their minds off things.

The key to successful synthetic opportunism is persistence. You can't get intimidated when someone challenges if you're trying to be funny. Instead, you have to stick with it and constantly apply the wrong grammar. This might be difficult because when you're unfamiliar with the method, you're not quick-witted. Don't worry about the time. Just relax about possibilities. Do not analyze. Do not figure things out. The goal is to synthesize. Imagine creative ways to interpret someone's grammar, and then respond according to that creativity. Listen to people literally, not rationally. Think widely, not deeply.
 

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One even spit it out in my face once and told me that I was too manly to be around girls talking about make up and stuff (lol that was cold) but it's true, if you're male why would you care about girls' make-up (maybe you would if you're into styles and stuff, but that's very rare)
 

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"Being entertaining" really isn't that difficult. The key is "synthetic opportunism" where you take ideas out of context and apply the wrong grammar towards understanding them. It shows creative thinking because you don't simply state the obvious. You also show security because you're unpredictable, and you help alleviate stress because you're not analyzing things like they're problems that need to be solved. Instead, you're sympathizing with someone's plight in helping get their minds off things.

The key to successful synthetic opportunism is persistence. You can't get intimidated when someone challenges if you're trying to be funny. Instead, you have to stick with it and constantly apply the wrong grammar. This might be difficult because when you're unfamiliar with the method, you're not quick-witted. Don't worry about the time. Just relax about possibilities. Do not analyze. Do not figure things out. The goal is to synthesize. Imagine creative ways to interpret someone's grammar, and then respond according to that creativity. Listen to people literally, not rationally. Think widely, not deeply.
WTF are you going on about...? How does this answer the OP's question? Take things out of context and use the wrong grammar? Wha? It sounds like it belongs in a completely different thread. It also sounds like a good way to offend somebody or look like a moron. :|

(OP, I'm similar to you in that all the friends I made IRL I made because we were in each other's company frequently due to school or whatnot, and I don't just warm to people right off the bat either...as for how and where to make friends like that again, I don't know. It's the main reason I currently have no friends IRL. I sympathize, though. :stu )
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
"Being entertaining" really isn't that difficult. The key is "synthetic opportunism" where you take ideas out of context and apply the wrong grammar towards understanding them. It shows creative thinking because you don't simply state the obvious. You also show security because you're unpredictable, and you help alleviate stress because you're not analyzing things like they're problems that need to be solved. Instead, you're sympathizing with someone's plight in helping get their minds off things.

The key to successful synthetic opportunism is persistence. You can't get intimidated when someone challenges if you're trying to be funny. Instead, you have to stick with it and constantly apply the wrong grammar. This might be difficult because when you're unfamiliar with the method, you're not quick-witted. Don't worry about the time. Just relax about possibilities. Do not analyze. Do not figure things out. The goal is to synthesize. Imagine creative ways to interpret someone's grammar, and then respond according to that creativity. Listen to people literally, not rationally. Think widely, not deeply.
What are you talking about? Making a post like this without even giving a single example of what you mean seems pretty inane to me.
 
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