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In my shiny bubble
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I attended my sister and her fiance Tim's family BBQ engagement get together yesterday. I had been worried sick about it alll week and dreading it, I kept saying i will go and then thinking about it, and thinking whether ppl would judge me etc etc, then I thought if i don't go, then ppl will think i am being unsocial and don't want to be part of the family. So then even though i was tearing up inside, i went!
His mum is like mumly. She gives you a hug and kiss when you come in, and i said hi and i said hi to Tim too but he didn't say hi back which i dunno why. We were in the garden, sitting around on chairs in a kinda circle. Which i thought oh god lol ppl will notice i ain't joining in with convos etc. I listened to what ppl were saying and if ppl talked to me, i reponsed. One of tim's brothers was there and his gf, and they didn't talk to me or say hi they just ignored me, which i thought was sad. Maybe they didn't wanna talk to me because i was quiet but then they spoke to my sister and she's quiet. *sigh* i dunno how other ppl they can be quiet and still ppl talk to them. I may be quiet but its not like i wouldn't talk if they asked me something. His dad also didn't say anything to me but *shrugs* oh well
but the nice thing was they have this family friend who is about my age, 22 and he asked me some questions so i wasn't really ignored by all. I think he liked me :) but i don't like him in that way, i would just like him as a friend :)
so yeah i went, no one can say i didn't attend the engagement i did! even if i was tearng up inside!:D go me! oh yeah and its a huge weight off my shoulders, not havint to worry about it no more
 

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Yeah. Sometimes I have those little personal triumphs. The problem is that each one is it's own battle and winning one battle gets me nowhere in the overall war.
 

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Congrats for going :)
Some people are rude to ignore a person just because they're quiet.
 

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Congrats, and i disagree with the guy who said little battles mean nothing towards the over all war. It means something if you give it meaning, we give meaning to failures but not victories and that is short sided.
Anyway, go you! And sometimes I've found people will not talk to a person that is quiet because they are unsure of them, they are probably thinking the same about you. That you didn't want to talk to them and so forth, they were probably unsure if you were approachable. But in any event, congratulations you did awesome, did you eat? some ppl don't like eating in front of others :afr
 

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HaloOfDarkness
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It's hard forcing yourself to be in that kind of uncomfortable social situation. I use to chew my finger nails off debating whether I should go to an event or not. I really understand the part where you said if I don't go then they will think I'm anit-social. I always felt that way about get togethers and weddings and parties. And even if we do show up, they will still think were anti-social because we are quiet. I hate the feeling of being way out of my comfort zone. I just want to get away. You went, you showed up, you weren't pretending to me somebody your not, that is an accomplishment that some of us could never push ourselves to do.
 

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In my shiny bubble
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
yes, i did eat. People didn't look at me whilst i was eating, so it was ok. my sister's fiances brother and girlfriend didn't arrive until we'd all eaten our bit,so they kinda missed the BBQ so i didn't have to eat in front of a load of people

thanks guys :)

Oh yeah, uhm my sister's fiances brother's girlfriends parents were supposed to attend but they had a beavement in the family so couldn't, i was kinda glad coz i probably wouldn't have been able to cope with another 2 people LOL
 

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sounds like me when I go somewhere, no one ever says anything. Except for a couple people which would be family members that are obligated not to totally ignore me.
 

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Congrats, and i disagree with the guy who said little battles mean nothing towards the over all war. It means something if you give it meaning, we give meaning to failures but not victories and that is short sided.
I was simply speaking for myself. I find winning a small battle does nothing for me in the long run. I still feel anxious about every little social event no matter how many small triumphs I've had. I don't do it on purpose. It just happens. That's the difference between pathology and something you can change by simply wanting to badly enough.
 
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