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Your Average Unicorn
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
It definitely feels like I need it, but I just don't quite know what to say. It feels like there is nothing big in particular that is causing me problems. It loads of smaller issues. Firstly, I have started to get what I presume is a phobia of cancer and death. In the evenings, I convince myself that I either have or I will get cancer very soon and I worry excessively over one or two lumps I have which I've had for years and haven't gotten any bigger. I also play this really horrible scenario over and over in my head. My mother walks into my room in the morning and is trying to wake me up, but discovers I'm dead. I also sometimes think that things such as TV programmes and advertisements are trying to convey something to me about my life. I am having some quite minor friendship issues. My father is an alcoholic and he can be quite emotionally abusive towards me, although I seem to be having difficulty facing up to the situation and I have kind of emotionally shut off from it. I have recently discovered that some of the things my supposed "best friend" did to me were in fact sexual abuse (he is five years older than me). I always knew that what he did didn't feel right but it's different now I know it was definitely sexual abuse. I don't know what to do. I'm scared in case he does something similar to another girl. I am also generally very hypersensitive, phobic, anxious shy and lacking self-confidence.

I have no idea how to get all this out in words. Would it be worth writing it down instead (I have a stammer and I struggle to get the words out of my mouth)? Will any of the things I say sound stupid?
 

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Print out what you just wrote and take it with you. You just did an excellent job of summarising the things which are bothering you most right now, and it didn't sound stupid at all. I'm just sorry that you're having to deal with this stuff.
 

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the thing about tv programs conveying message to you. I've had similar experiences while i was high on drugs. It was some scary ****. so about counseling i think its a good thing. I myself talk my psychologist about problems i deal with. i think talking about **** is good to get things off your shoulder.
 

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Your Average Unicorn
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276 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks for the advice. I didn't get time to write out my problems, but I did just find without. I didn't get chance to mention everything I wanted to but it doesn't matter too much because I have another appointment in a few weeks anyway.

By the way, I have never taken drugs in my life so that can't be the cause of the paranoia. In fact, I've never even had more than a sip of wine in terms of alcohol (my father's drinking has made me terrified of the stuff). I believe that the belief that TV programmes are conveying messages is more often associated with schizophrenia. However, I don't think I can be schizophrenic because I realise that the symptoms are possibly related to a mental disorder; however, that still doesn't stop me from believing that my fears are real. It's a tricky one. Either way, this was one of the things that I didn't get chance to bring up with my counsellor. If it is still bothering me as much by my next appointment then I may mention it then. It will be interesting to hear her response...
 

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Try not to be afraid about mentioning something that is bothering you in a session. You are getting treatment to fix a problem and if you don't mention it they'll never be able to help resolve it.

You just need to get it all out there. Don't worry about if you think it's stupid or whatever, they've probably heard it and more.
 

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It seems like you are going through alot. The counsellor will probably tell you to focus on the thing that is most important for you to talk about right now.

If he sexually abused you, the counsellor has the duty to report so no others will
be affected. I'm sorry that happened to you. It was not your fault.

If you believe that the tv is conveying messages to you it could be schizophrenia.
It could also be that you are just identifying more to certain programs and things that
you are going through. I felt this way before.

Is there anyway that you can move out so you don't have to live with your alcoholic father?
Do you have any friends or family that you could live with?

It sounds to me like you are having obsessive thoughts regarding death.
When did this begin occuring? Have you experienced any losses recently?
If you are worried about cancer is there anyway that you could go and get
checked out for it just to decrease some of your worries.
You have no control over whether you will die soon or when it will happen to
you. We all die at some point, but we just don't know when that will occur.

If you are worrying about your mother discovering you dead -
I was just wondering if you've been having any suicidal thoughts recently?
or are these just thoughts that pop into your head. They could be obsessions.
 

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Your Average Unicorn
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276 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
It seems like you are going through alot. The counsellor will probably tell you to focus on the thing that is most important for you to talk about right now.

If he sexually abused you, the counsellor has the duty to report so no others will
be affected. I'm sorry that happened to you. It was not your fault.

If you believe that the tv is conveying messages to you it could be schizophrenia.
It could also be that you are just identifying more to certain programs and things that
you are going through. I felt this way before.

Is there anyway that you can move out so you don't have to live with your alcoholic father?
Do you have any friends or family that you could live with?

It sounds to me like you are having obsessive thoughts regarding death.
When did this begin occuring? Have you experienced any losses recently?
If you are worried about cancer is there anyway that you could go and get
checked out for it just to decrease some of your worries.
You have no control over whether you will die soon or when it will happen to
you. We all die at some point, but we just don't know when that will occur.

If you are worrying about your mother discovering you dead -
I was just wondering if you've been having any suicidal thoughts recently?
or are these just thoughts that pop into your head. They could be obsessions.
Thanks for your response :). I would move out but the only people I could live with are my grandparents and we're not that close. Although my mother and I are also not especially close, I could not move out because I know it would upset her a lot.

I just started randomly becoming obsessed by death during the Summer holidays. I think it started because I had been spending too much time on my own just thinking. However, I find it very distressing and I can't seem to shake these feelings.
 
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