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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I just found some things out about my boyfriend and since I don't have any friends to talk to about it I thought I would post it here. I just need to vent or I think I'll explode. It turns out that when we first met he was talking to a lot of other girls he met in the craigslist personals. This went on for about a month after we started seeing each other. After he said he loved me. And you should have seen some of the subject matter...I won't repeat it here but it's some pretty perverted stuff. I don't know if he slept with any of them but it still hurts even if he didn't.

Then he told his ex-wife (who he stills emails..just found out about that too) that I had an abortion. The truth is that our daughter turned 10 weeks old yesterday. Why would he do that? Is he ashamed of us?

I don't know what to do or to think. Am I making a big deal out of nothing? I feel so betrayed. I know I have low self-esteem, but I think he really could be cheating on me. I know the emails are real, but am I being paranoid? I am so hurt I just want to lay down and die. If it weren't for my kids I might seriously consider it. Am I really so worthless to him? Or am I just crazy?
 

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Chief Worrier
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when i get really mad at someone, it helps to write down all the things i want to say and then organise them before i confront them. it helps me settle my feelings into words and think of ways to explain what's wrong.
so maybe you should think about what you want to tell him, and make a list, and then put it all together. do you think that would help?
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Yeah, I thought of that. I wrote him a letter because I just don't think I'll be able to say all that I need to and be able to keep my composure. Of course I've edited it a hundred times already because it comes out sounding crazy (to me anyway).
 

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Chief Worrier
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well, since you're in this group, presumably you have social anxiety, and therefore being self-conscious and nervous isn't too surprising, right? just keep going through it until you think you've edited it to the point that you're okay with giving it to him, i suppose. at least, that's what i would do.
 

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Your not crazy, or over reacting. I think this is serious and you know it too. It looks to me like he used you for a list of reasons, all of them point to him not truly caring about your well being. Basically it all comes down to this, his actions are against you and you need to protect yourself and your children.
 

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Done with SA
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Wow, you should dump him and dump him fast.

I mean, it's one thing to talk to other people online and your ex, but when you're talking about the things you say he's talking about to these women and telling a lie (probably not the only one) about you and your daughter, that's just taking it overboard.
It sounds like he's trying to make her think you two are having a rough patch(and it sounds like you are, but it's his fault), so that maybe he can get back together with her. And why keep all this a secret unless there is something going on? I don't know, but it sounds fishy.
 

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Always go with your instincts so if your gut is telling you that he is cheating, he probably is. But don't feel bad about yourself you are not worthless and you have your kids to live for. You don't need him in your life to move on because he is a loser for denying you and your daughter. He's the worthless one!!! I know it's hard especially if you love him, but he is not worth it and he does not deserve you!!! Even if you do have low self esteem, don't let him or any other man know it.. Act as if the world revolves around you because men love confident women.. I think...
 
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