Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 7 of 7 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
581 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This is a weird question. I guess what I read online and stuff that when a guy is crushing on a girl, they will often touch them. I am not talking sexually and stuff.......just flirting I guess.

Is this true? And how is a guy supposed to do this?

I'm wondering because I've been flirting with this girl and things have surprisingly gone well so far. Yet, I have never complimented her on her looks or actually touched her. So I'm wondering if I should step it up. We work together and walk home together after work, and we are actually starting to hang out a bit outside work.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,013 Posts
Sounds like you're doing great! But yes, the only way you're going to create any sexual tension is to be physical with her. Next time you see her:

#1. Give her a hug
#2. When you guys are talking and flirting, give her a nudge on her arm/shoulder.
#3. Punch her in the cooter

Nah...no #3...but the other two are all you really need to get started. Light taps and nudges combined with a hug here and there. When you are on an actual date with her, then you can be a bit more risque...nudges/pats on the leg, making intense eye contact, putting your face closer to hers...anything really. It's hard to describe exactly what is okay, but if you think it's too risque, just do it anyway (within reason of course). A confident guy will have no problem touching a girl, and if she is laughing and having a good time, you can continue to test the boundaries. If you see an obvious negative reaction from you touching her, then you can dial it back one notch.

The most important thing is not to half *** it. If you look really awkward going for physical contact, or you start to and then retreat, or if you do it really slowly...it can be a negative. Girls will pick up on that hesitation in a second. Try to be as natural about it as possible, is what I am saying. Really getting that down just takes practice/experience, but focus on being natural and you will be fine, especially since she already seems to like you.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
232 Posts
Above her butt. On the erector spinae. That tells her that you are interested in her but that you are not a creep.



I am not saying that you should touch her on the erector spinae per sé. Obviously.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
80 Posts
Take this with a grain of salt, as I have weird touching issues, but forearm and upper arm are okay, and it's pretty easy to touch those in conversation and whatever as an emphasis. Hugs are always okay (from the front, as a hello/good-bye/you need a hug type of thing).
Until you know the girl's boundaries, no surprise touches!
If a guy I didn't know well or a guy who had never touched me before put his hand on the small of my back out of nowhere while we were walking, I would get so freaked out. I would be okay with it if we had hugged or anything before, but as a first touch I think arm or hug is a better bet.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,217 Posts
*pets on head*

one way is to find some excuse to touch her with plausible deniability, so there is this other reason besides liking her and wanting to show her that that you can hide behind. you weren't doing it to flirt, you were doing it to ______. (whatever the ancillary reason was).

that kind of thing strikes me as being really common. probably because it works.
 
1 - 7 of 7 Posts
Top