[bojadada]

So, I've never had a girlfriend, so needless to say, whenever I talk to a girl, I become kind of "clingy". Not in a way that's noticeable, like just texting them all the time, but kind of mentally clingy. This girl I met at work a few days ago gave me her number, and I keep overthinking. I'd text her and of she didn't reply right away, of get all worried she doesn't like me anymore. I'm supposed to hang out with her tomorrow night, and I'm worried I'm gonna be too shy. I was outgoing when we first met, and when I mentioned in text to her that I'm shy, she even said "you didn't seem shy with me" but now I'm overthinking. Any tips?

 

[cheezitlover]

just be hyped she wants to hang out with you don't worry about it, she likes you

 

[DS29790bb]

Well, it's tough for sure. Reading your post made me think exactly of myself, no joke. I'm the exact same way and in the same situation right now with this girl who I got her number. The first time I texted her over break, I was sweating through my shirt just waiting for the response.

Anyway, while I do the same thing, I have improved a bit. I got really, really attached to this one girl last year. When I finally had to accept that it would never happen, I went into this deep depression. I literally altered my entire life for her. After that, I learned how to not get too attached.

My trick of getting over this whole mental attachment is to think about yourself and yourself only. It takes a lot of mental power to do this. But I am sure some of your thoughts are "what if she doesn't like me" and things like that. In this way, you are more concerned about HER. With girls, try to focus more on yourself. Make YOURSELF happy, ask "what if I don't like her as much?" That way, you relieve yourself of the pressure a bit.

I know it's so hard to do. And I feel like a hypocrite for typing this because even I do the same thing. But keep in mind, a girl will like you if you are confident in yourself. That means you need to focus on yourself. The reason girls don't like the stereotypical "nice guy" is not because they are "too nice" like they think, or that girls like bad guys. It's because the nice guys focus more on the girl than themselves. Try your best to focus on yourself, and YOU having a good time. Look what YOU have to offer her, not what she has to offer you.

 

[mint]

My ex boyfriend said something similar to me when we were first hanging out. He said he liked me, and I said I liked him too, and he suggested we date. I said I would like to, but that I was really shy and slow moving. He said it was ok, and by the end of the first date he said I wasn't shy at all. He said it a few more times as we were dating. I was reeeaally nervous about being shy during the first date, but I think knowing that he liked me helped me relax.

My point is, you already know she likes you. She gave you her number. She wants to hang out with you! Keep reminding yourself of that any time you start to worry.

Have fun!

 

[ThISme]

Well, it's tough for sure. Reading your post made me think exactly of myself, no joke. I'm the exact same way and in the same situation right now with this girl who I got her number. The first time I texted her over break, I was sweating through my shirt just waiting for the response.

Anyway, while I do the same thing, I have improved a bit. I got really, really attached to this one girl last year. When I finally had to accept that it would never happen, I went into this deep depression. I literally altered my entire life for her. After that, I learned how to not get too attached.

My trick of getting over this whole mental attachment is to think about yourself and yourself only. It takes a lot of mental power to do this. But I am sure some of your thoughts are "what if she doesn't like me" and things like that. In this way, you are more concerned about HER. With girls, try to focus more on yourself. Make YOURSELF happy, ask "what if I don't like her as much?" That way, you relieve yourself of the pressure a bit.

I know it's so hard to do. And I feel like a hypocrite for typing this because even I do the same thing. But keep in mind, a girl will like you if you are confident in yourself. That means you need to focus on yourself. The reason girls don't like the stereotypical "nice guy" is not because they are "too nice" like they think, or that girls like bad guys. It's because the nice guys focus more on the girl than themselves. Try your best to focus on yourself, and YOU having a good time. Look what YOU have to offer her, not what she has to offer you.

Very good points and post!!! Like the OP i tend to do the same thing. I recently before xmass asked my crush for her number and suggested that we go out to eat. But today I had class with her (combined classes cause not as many people showed up). Anyway it was great being with her and seeing her as I don't see her that much but I was with her and some other teachers and I over heard them talking about a guy she went out with. I got this shot of crap over me and anxiety but I recovered. I was meaning to talk to her after work as I texted her earlier about doing that but I didn't. Not cause of what I overheard although it crossed my mind to just drop it...but I did go to her desk (felt like a creeper lol) but she wasn't there so I left. That's okay. I'm learning not to try too hard, cling on to the idea of a gf and let it go. No not forgetting about it or trying to press the feelings but to hold myself coming off as needy or desperate etc. Girls or most people don't like that lol. But is more of a personal growth thing cause of anxiety and insecurity I'm tempted to be clingy or hang on to it too much which is a recipe for hurting myself. Not healthy way to approach it. I have to be okay if a girl doesn't like me or if it doesn't work out. Sure it sucks but it doesn't dictate my worth and there are plenty, plenty of fish in the sea. Off soap box

My ex boyfriend said something similar to me when we were first hanging out. He said he liked me, and I said I liked him too, and he suggested we date. I said I would like to, but that I was really shy and slow moving. He said it was ok, and by the end of the first date he said I wasn't shy at all. He said it a few more times as we were dating. I was reeeaally nervous about being shy during the first date, but I think knowing that he liked me helped me relax.

My point is, you already know she likes you. She gave you her number. She wants to hang out with you! Keep reminding yourself of that any time you start to worry.

Have fun!

Very well said!!
Yes you know she is interested. Trust me I'm the same way, over think it.

 

[IdontMind]

Well, it's tough for sure. Reading your post made me think exactly of myself, no joke. I'm the exact same way and in the same situation right now with this girl who I got her number. The first time I texted her over break, I was sweating through my shirt just waiting for the response.

Anyway, while I do the same thing, I have improved a bit. I got really, really attached to this one girl last year. When I finally had to accept that it would never happen, I went into this deep depression. I literally altered my entire life for her. After that, I learned how to not get too attached.

My trick of getting over this whole mental attachment is to think about yourself and yourself only. It takes a lot of mental power to do this. But I am sure some of your thoughts are "what if she doesn't like me" and things like that. In this way, you are more concerned about HER. With girls, try to focus more on yourself. Make YOURSELF happy, ask "what if I don't like her as much?" That way, you relieve yourself of the pressure a bit.

I know it's so hard to do. And I feel like a hypocrite for typing this because even I do the same thing. But keep in mind, a girl will like you if you are confident in yourself. That means you need to focus on yourself. The reason girls don't like the stereotypical "nice guy" is not because they are "too nice" like they think, or that girls like bad guys. It's because the nice guys focus more on the girl than themselves. Try your best to focus on yourself, and YOU having a good time. Look what YOU have to offer her, not what she has to offer you.

This is really good advice!