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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I really want to start, but don't know how to do it properly or how people can do it for so long without losing focus or getting bored...anyone had success with this for social anxiety? What do you think about during it?
 

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I have many years of on and off practice with meditation but was doing it wrong for a while. Make sure you get the technique down pretty well before you start or you could get into some bad habits which can lead to some unpleasant states of mind, also bad meditation habits are sort of hard to break. Also the most important thing is to be patient and gentle with yourself, expect to make mistakes and expect periods where you will make little to no progress. It will be hard to meditate at first and you will experience lots of mental resistance, eventually you reach a sate where you are perfectly content to just sit there and meditate with very little mental resistance. The first thing I would do is watch this guided meditation. Very effective and great for a beginner. He really does a good job explaining what you are supposed to do. I also like the method of gently putting your awareness on several things at once. Such as your hearing, the feeling in your body and hands etc and your breath at the same time.


I'm not as much of a fan of the 'mindfulness of breath technique though because I did it wrong for so long and controlled my breath instead of 'watching' it. I feel lots of anxiety in my chest and a sense of physical discomfort there always so if you are the same I would use the other techniques more than 'mindfulness of breath.' If you do the mindfulness of breath technique try to feel the breath on your nostrils and not your chest if you feel lots of anxiety in your chest.

Here's a good ebook dealing with mindfulness
Mindulness in Plain English
http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma4/mpe.html

I would then try Eckhart Tolle's meditation techniques in his book "The Power of Now." Some really good ones are the 'watching your mind' meditation as well as the 'listening to the silence' one. In fact I would download the audio book or buy the book and just keep listening to it over and over again. about 4-8 months ago I was really into meditation and I learned a hell of a lot from this book and from doing the meditations. Keep a journal and write down about your experiences and learn from them. Also I would like to meditate and listen to the book at the same time. One time I had a panic attack during meditation and I used this technique (as well as teh one I'm about to get into below) to completely get rid of it. I went from a complete state of full fledged panic to bliss in about 1 minute. It just changed drastically and immediately. It got rid of 90% of my anxiety for about 4 months or so (until I got back into my bad habits and got into meth) I haven't had a panic attack since though even though the social anxiety and to some extent the general anxiety have come back again (not as bad as they were though, especially the general anxiety)

Another one I really like and might be my favorite is Adyashanti's meditation technique. I'll try and find his guided meditation. I'm pretty sure I still have it saved somewhere. To sum it all up its pretty much "Allow everything to be as it is, don't try to get anywhere you are not already, just watch and allow whatever comes up to comes up, feeling anxious? allow yourself to feel anxious completely, make no inner resistance to it, don't try to escape it, allow everything to be as it is" I like to use this technique when the others aren't working as well. Or when I'm already in a negative state to begin with (since trying to get out of a negative state leads to mental resistance, more anxiety, and a projection into the future instead of staying in the now.)

Here's something I wrote in another thread which is relevant, especially the first part is an elaboration of Adyashanti's meditation technique, very effective with dealing with panic attacks and is a great for social anxiety

The more energy you give to thoughts the more prevalent and more powerful they become. You must not feed them any more energy. The key to living in the now is to allow everything to be as it is. Don't resist anything mentally. Don't project into the future in attempt to escape an unpleasant now. Just be still. Feeling anxious? Allow yourself to feel anxious, don't try and escape it. Treat every moment as if you had chosen it. Totally surrender to whatever you are feeling, even if it is very negative, when you are completely surrendered then there is no conflict, no projection, no trying to escape, no more negative thoughts (which trigger even more negative thoughts and negative emotions which trigger negative thoughts etc.) There are two methods that I use to try to become more present if I am dwelling on things from the past. The first is to just watch your thoughts. Don't identify with them. Don't judge them. Just watch them. Observe them, realize that they are not you, they are just a matrix of repetitive conditioned thought loops. Gradually they will start to lose power over you and will no longer make emotional connections which trigger negative emotions and other thought loops. Another method is to consciously put your attention into the present moment. Try to feel your body from the inside and any sensations. Listen to the noises around you. Put your attention on your breathing etc. I alternate between these and others though. I find the 'allowing everything to be as it is' method the best though because you are not trying to get anywhere (which is projection, the false belief that you need to 'get somewhere' to feel complete and in the now, sometimes I got myself into bad mental states trying to hard to be in the now, so completely surrendering to the present moment and your emotions whatever they may be is best, you will sort of figure it out though through trial and error)

Read the book "The Power of Now." I like the audiobook. You can listen to it when you are going to sleep. I've listened to it like 20 times now and I think its a goldmine. I used to really be into it for about 3-4 months and I changed drastically and my normal state of consciousness drastically changed while I was doing it. I became very relaxed and calm and had very little mental static or repetitive thoughts that I have when I am anxious. The only problem is disciplining yourself into meditating and practicing the techniques etc. I actually kept a journal and wrote down how I was feeling periodically throughout the day. When I first was getting started I was only like a 4/10. So a constant state of physical discomfort caused by anxiety and a negative state of consciousness. I quickly started averaging about a 7.5/10. Some times I'd feel really good like a 9/10. I also wrote down all sorts of experiences I had while meditating and just trying out the techniques. What worked and what didn't also a bunch of insights into the mind. Also I had some really vivid and amazing dreams during this whole process. I also had incredible motivation during this and got into very good shape in a short amount of time. I went from barely being able to run 1 mile to running 10 in about 2 months. Also quit smoking and caffeine during this time. Since then though I lost motivation and am doing pretty crappy again. I'm gonna start up again and attempt one last physical and mental transformation. This time I'm gonna get a job when I get back to feeling a 7.5/10. I think thats what screwed me last time is that I never got a job.

Also I almost completely stopped using the internet during this time. The internet is an addiction that gives me anxiety and puts me into slightly negative states of mind. I also meditated for sometimes like 6 hours a day. Though usually only like 2 hours or so. You only need to for about 30 minutes or so imho. Do it right when you wake up. Helps center yourself and start off the day in a positive mental state and is therefore much easier to maintain throughout the day. Sometimes I would wake up and feel like a 4/10 and then after 40 minutes of meditation I would be at like a 7/10 or so. Once you 'level yourself up' through meditation you will be able to maintain it throughout most of the day. Sometimes its hard to get into the 'now' and into a better frame of mind but when you actually do it its easy to maintain to a large extent.
I'm gonna try and find you some links to Adyashanti's meditation technique one second. Also don't let Adyashanti and Eckhart Tolle's new age reputation worry you. Really good info, just psychology really.
 

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Do it five minutes every day until you start getting more comfortable with it. Nobody can meditate for hours when they are not experienced. I never have done it consistently myself, but that's partly to do with spiritual conflicts I have with my parent's spiritual path.

Anyway, meditating is simple, and you don't have to do it "right". There are many methods in many groups and religions. Many types, sitting, walking, laying.

The easiest two I know of are the following:

1.

Sit cross legged with a pillow under your bum, place your hands on your lap, either close to your knees, or palms facing up between your legs, with your left hand laying under your right and your thumbs touching.

Next, sit up straight, without arching your spine or slouching. The best way to acheive good posture is to imagine there is a string or rope at the top, near the back or your head that is pulling your entire body upward, straightening your spine.

Now to me, posture is the most difficult part of meditation. It makes me feel short of breath, but that is why it is good to go for short periods at first, so that your body can build up its strenght for this particular position, and eventually will become more used to it.

Next, you want to look straight ahead, or down at the floor, or close your eyes slightly, just relax your eyes, and focus on your in and exhalations. It's good to allow your in breaths to come more naturally, and push your outbreaths out, and holding them for a second. There are many breathing techniques also. But the most important thing is to continually bring your focus back down to your breath because it will cut other distractions out of your mind. You will become distracted very easily, but that's totally normal. Just keep coming back to your breath.

When you are sitting for long enough periods, you will find your consciousness begin to shift, it will be easier to focus, and in fact your brainwaves will shift patterns, so you are in more of a relaxed state. I find I can sometimes want to fall asleep at this point. But keep practicing. You can lay down if you feel sleepy. You will be able to stay awake longer over time.

2. Relaxation meditation. I do this when I'm going to sleep sometimes. When you're laying down/in bed or whatever, make sure you have blankets if you get cold easily. You want to begin to relax every muscle in your body thoroughly.

So take a few very deep breaths to start, maybe try to fill your lungs AND your gut with your breaths. Then you can start to breath naturally again.

First focus all your attention on your toes, just repeat to yourself to relax your toes, keep omagining the muscles in your toes relaxing. Then move to your feet, keep imagining them relaxing til you feel they are okay. Then move to your ankles, your legs, your thighs, and hips and so on. Do all of this slowly, as slowly or fast as you feel comfortable. Eventually you will get up to your head and your face. And you will find a lot of tension has been released. It's also good if you have trouble falling asleep at night. I sometimes fall asleep before I even complete it. But that is okay too.

Hopefully that helps somewhat! Good luck!
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks all, I'm going to aim for 30 minutes a day...probably start with the Adyashanti's meditation-sounds like it will help with recognizing subconscious negative thoughts, which I think is my main problem. Glad to hear it has worked for you.
 

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My advice is to consider Kundalini meditation, I've found it helpful for myself. I was reading something during my Enneagram phase that said people with my Enneagram type often go for meditation techniques that reinforce negative tendencies within themselves, like tendencies towards apathy and disassociation. So it said people like me(type 5s) should use meditation techniques like Kundalini that make you more connected to your feelings, not less. Some people need to step back from their emotions and learn to look at things in a new way. Not me. I need to learn to step forward to my emotions, thats whats missing. I thought it was good advice and am very happy with what Kundalini has brought to my life.
 

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Hi shy

Really meditation is the way to go!
And you need to know that there actually is no doing it properly. And you did it already! Alone by thinking of meditation you set your thoughts in motion towards a goal which is of an infinite beauty!

Maybe you still struggle with the question: What is meditation?
To keep it easy I tell you it is letting go! By meditation you learn to be absolutly in peace. It is stopping your thoughts. And when your absolutly still. Universe will embrace you, creativity will be your mate, you gift yourself with so much love that you have to laugh out even when there's nothing to actually laugh about.

-- Mario D.,
Meditation Teacher
 

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Hey guys, does it really matter how you sit during meditation? I can't sit cross-legged, or get into the half-lotus even so for me the only option really is sitting on a chair...
 

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It really helps me, especially before I sleep. I'm not into fancy details or techniques, but I just try to think of nothing or think as mildly as I can to give my brain a vacation. Just trying not to think so much, I think is a huge improvement than before you started. Not thinking of much is particularly hard for someone with anxiety.

When I open my eyes, and it feels like I was somewhere else for a while, that's when I feel that I've done something right.

Soon I plan to read up on it some more, and maybe get some additional tips. I've been trying basic Tai Chi lately, and that's great too. I think I'm getting the hang of that, even more so than meditation.
 

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Meditation

Meditation is very simple it is only to do in half an hour in morning. Morning meditation is very beneficial and better result giving. In meditation simply sit alone in a room and feel relax or start breath in and out. For better and fast result do not do meditation alone recommended for newbie they need to join so meditation courses or join some Free meditation classes . When you do meditation in front of an professional they help you to how to do meditation for fast and better result.
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