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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm not sure if this belongs in the "relationships" forum or not. I'm not sure if this forum is for people with issues in relationships, or if general "crush/should I ask this person out" threads also apply. If this is the wrong forum, sorry.

Anyway, how can you tell if you've missed your chance asking someone out, and it's time to move on? How do you know when the ship has sailed?

Months ago in August, during my university open house before I started attending, I met a girl who I was immediately drawn to, and managed to have a very brief conversation with her. Never asked her out.

I see her in the hallways every now in then. I'd like to approach her, but it's been months.

I know you're probably about to say, "go for it, you'll never know if you don't try!", but here's part two.

Once, I was sitting across from her, talking to a friend of mine, but I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I was talking to my friend, but obviously distracted, because I wasn't looking at him, but at her. I couldn't stop. She'd turn around every once in a while and turn back. Probably thought I was being creepy.

So, if I approached her, what she would have is a guy she talked to once months ago, who once stared at her in an uncomfortable manner, trying to talk to her. I dunno, would you say that I already screwed this one up, and should just move on?

I know that there are "plenty of fish in the sea" and whatnot, but I've had a hard time finding anyone else attractive since meeting her, because I always inevitably compare them to her.

Heheh, but seeing as I have social anxiety, even if I do decide I should talk to her, whether I actually do it or not is an entirely different matter. I'm surprised I even got that super brief conversation with her that one time, that was out of the ordinary for me. Lightning probably doesn't strike twice.
 

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Nah it's not too late. You can message her on Facebook or something, mention that you talked before and that you've seen her around but haven't gotten the chance to chat. Ask if she wants to go out for coffee or something and then about the creepy staring incident say you remembered her but couldn't think of where you had talked before and you were trying to recall... But then you eventually remembered and it inspired you to write her.
 

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Please don't keep on staring at her, it looks very creepy and you will scare away most girls. What I would do in this case, is to restablish the contact once again, without asking her out. Try to get her number like a friend, and talk to her often in person. Try to find a common ground that the two of you can enjoy doing. Then invite her to do the same with you. Big tip: She wont want to go out with you unless she is comfortable talking to you like a friend and have something in common.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Nah it's not too late. You can message her on Facebook or something, mention that you talked before and that you've seen her around but haven't gotten the chance to chat. Ask if she wants to go out for coffee or something and then about the creepy staring incident say you remembered her but couldn't think of where you had talked before and you were trying to recall... But then you eventually remembered and it inspired you to write her.
I dunno if going the Facebook route is the best. For one thing, she'd be wondering how I tracked her Facebook down. Well, I do know her name, but I think doing it in person is less creepy, and I already have enough creepy stamps on my card, so that might be the straw that breaks the camel's back and compels her to seek a restraining order.

But, I like the suggestion about explaining why I couldn't help but stare that one time. I should probably only mention that after I start making conversation and we're comfortable, though.

Please don't keep on staring at her, it looks very creepy and you will scare away most girls. What I would do in this case, is to restablish the contact once again, without asking her out. Try to get her number like a friend, and talk to her often in person. Try to find a common ground that the two of you can enjoy doing. Then invite her to do the same with you. Big tip: She wont want to go out with you unless she is comfortable talking to you like a friend and have something in common.
Sounds reasonable.

Whenever I see her, she is either talking to a friend, or looks like she's busy heading off to a class. It's hard to approach people when they look busy, and you're not in a common situation, like waiting in line or in the same class or something. But I guess if I try to wait for one of those "perfect moments", it'll never come, so I might as well just try to find an excuse to say hello.

That's a hard thing, though. Finding an excuse. I mean, I could compliment her, but I feel like girls probably get compliments all the time, and, if not done right, it can be cheesy and desperate. I wish I could think of something to say less superficial that complimenting her hair or her eyes or her clothing (which are all quite nice).
 
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