[aaartnaz]

have you ever felt stupid for trying to say hi or be friendly to some people? when i do sometimes i can get an indifferent reply and it sort of makes me feel like a fool for trying. i want to get over this. i think a good positive step for my s.a. is to try to forget about worrying of someone's reply when i do this, because it's very important for me to be able to say hi or i won't make friends that way. what do you do to keep yourself from being bothered by people who don't really like you but you have to be friendly still?

 

[sanspants08]

Well, if I simply say hello to someone and they say nothing back, I figure they've just made an *** of themselves--especially if there are other people around. I usually say, "Ok then," and keep walking. I do get a little irritated if I try to make small-talk and the other person says nothing back, but there are so many reasons why that could happen that I don't beat myself up over it. They could be dealing with a serious matter of their own, or they could have been caught off-guard.

 

[jane]

-have you ever felt stupid for trying to say hi or be friendly to some people?

I try to place less emphasis on one conversation, and more on the overall relationship.
Good friendships aren't built around one chat, or one day, or one month. I take a lot of time to get to know people, be comfortable, open up, build trust and many others are the same way. So what if they don't greet you right away with "Hey, welcome aaartnaz!!!!" - they probably will in time.

 

[Dying note]

Happens to me all time. I guess I just try and remind myself not to take others reactions personal. It's discouraging when it seems to happen all the time, but bothering to take the step to greet someone at all is big in my opinion, so continuing to make the effort is something I try and remember is more for my own benifit with managing my anxiety than for other people.

 

[acceptance]

It used to happen to me a lot as well. Now, before I make the first attempt at being friendly, I'll try and sum them up by their body language, eye contact and facial expression. If they're smiling and seem cheerful (for example), there's a good chance you'll get a positive response. I've noticed that some people for some reason though, see your attempt at being friendly as a sign of weakness, and they'll try and take the dominant role, or are just plain rude and/or ignorant. I can spot this type of person a mile away now, and just avoid them altogether. It's a bit of a mind game, but I've had success with it.

 

[Graye]

Don't take it personally, and think of it as them making an idiot of themselves instead of you. If you say "Hi", you are being polite and "normal".

I only recently figured this out, which is quite sad. Before a month or two ago, I kept overthinking whether to say "hi" to someone or not. After a while, I just smiled or said 'hi' to everyone whom I've traded words with before at work. It's a lot less stress.

 

[shyvr6]

Nothing you can do except realize that at least you tried to make an effort to make a connection.