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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi guys! I work in an office, and I have a co-workers who are very obnoxious and they are the type of person who always makes fun of what I say specially when I ask questions, like yesterday our supervisor was not in her desk yet, then I ask my co-worker if she did not arrived yet, then one of my office mate said "does she looks like she's here" and then mockingly laugh. They are always like that, I just felt like they insist that I'm stupid and slow in comprehension. Any suggestion what will I say to them that will defense myself without looking annoyed. Thanks!
 

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Hi guys! I work in an office, and I have a co-workers who are very obnoxious and they are the type of person who always makes fun of what I say specially when I ask questions, like yesterday our supervisor was not in her desk yet, then I ask my co-worker if she did not arrived yet, then one of my office mate said "does she looks like she's here" and then mockingly laugh. They are always like that, I just felt like they insist that I'm stupid and slow in comprehension. Any suggestion what will I say to them that will defense myself without looking annoyed. Thanks!
I don't have any great advice, but this came to mind:
 

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Prevention is better than cure.
Avoid saying anything. Ignore them and they will get annoyed.

I don't handle bullies well because I can easily fall into the trap of saying something unprofessional, which is what they want..(a reaction which might jeopardise your job).

But I admit, finding the right words in reply to a bully is a real art. If you can put them in their place in the right way, it is a very useful skill.

what about..?."No need to be rude. I was just asking."...or "Do I speak rudely to you, Mary?....Well why are you being rude to me, then?"

that might be useful but wouldn't work with some people or contexts.
 

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Having reread your post, I think you might be wise to bring this up to managers. because it really is discrimination. Discrimination against the way you speak. In Australia we have laws to protect workers from harassment and in your case I think you can make a case of discrimination...

I'd be saying " I hope your not making fun of my accent or pronunciation, George, because that's discrimination. if you continue to do this, I will have to report you to the manager. OK?"
be surprised if they continue to do it but depends on your country's discrimination laws?
 

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take a business class on business/human communication. seriously. there's a few ideas. and there seem to be a lot more books floating around on dealing with "bullies" at the workplace these days. for now, you could just say "sorry i asked" then walk away and let them be blessed.
 

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take a business class on business/human communication. seriously. there's a few ideas. and there seem to be a lot more books floating around on dealing with "bullies" at the workplace these days. for now, you could just say "sorry i asked" then walk away and let them be blessed.
simple as that eh.
it's a good one I agree.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
is that all?:blank
tell us how you go later anyway....
Well, actually there are only few people in our office & the salary is good. But this obnoxious people are my batch-mates & I had no one to talk to, but them. I usually try to defense myself whenever possible but it did not work, it gotten worse, they usually say that I'm too serious or I'm too defensive. Bottom line is that I'm still a loser in their point of view. That's why I want to be sarcastic, but when I defense myself, I look annoyed so they still win & I'm the loser.
 

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It all depends on the culture of the company.... Before you go to a manager to complain, make sure you have a solid story and good evidence of harassment. Just saying that they make these remarks might not be received well, depending on what the managers believe in...

I also work in a small company with a bunch of extreme extroverts who pick on me sometimes. The HR head, my manager and the CEO are all club-going, womanizing extroverts. So, it is kind of hard to make a point by saying that I find some of their behaviors, comments and "jokes" uncomfortable. In a situation like that, best thing to do is just ignore or slowly look for a place that is more in line with your personality.

I once had a friend like that who left an IT company and joined an NGO. The pay was less but he enjoyed the job a lot more. In the long run, it might be better than all the legal battles, complaining and peer rivalry.
 

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I don't understand why so many people have to deal with stupid co workers like that. I actually ended up putting one of the people I work with in their place. I actually told them that I am sorry of the fact that they think I'm stupid when I just asked a customer how to spell their name. People can be stupid and by that, I mean the ones who don't understand that others do not know everything. Anyway, I've had enough of him laughing at me, so I told him what I mentioned in my other sentence. Believe me, that did not stop him at all from being rude to me. So I went up to him and I confronted him face to face, my face was literally an inch away from his face and I'm glad that freaked him out because I told him that if he doesn't stop, I will tell the boss how you are treating me because you are bullying me and that's not okay. He has stopped bothering me ever since and he even texted me to apologize. He asked my other coworker for my number to apologize to me. haha Let's just say that he has stopped bothering me. We all handle our own problems differently. Not sure if you want to do what I did.
 

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I don't understand why so many people have to deal with stupid co workers like that.
I know right? I really think that there have to be more rules against bullying and more educative programs in school level to teach people at a young age to respect others. A lot of people are affected by bullying and I'm surprised how it usually gets swept under the table as unimportant...

Although we tell people to just ignore or leave the company, it is unfair that someone has to endure or leave because of the actions of the others. But, sometimes, especially in Eastern cultures, confrontation is hard and matters like these are usually thought of as out of character of the person who complains.
 

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I don't understand why so many people have to deal with stupid co workers like that. I actually ended up putting one of the people I work with in their place. I actually told them that I am sorry of the fact that they think I'm stupid when I just asked a customer how to spell their name. People can be stupid and by that, I mean the ones who don't understand that others do not know everything. Anyway, I've had enough of him laughing at me, so I told him what I mentioned in my other sentence. Believe me, that did not stop him at all from being rude to me. So I went up to him and I confronted him face to face, my face was literally an inch away from his face and I'm glad that freaked him out because I told him that if he doesn't stop, I will tell the boss how you are treating me because you are bullying me and that's not okay. He has stopped bothering me ever since and he even texted me to apologize. He asked my other coworker for my number to apologize to me. haha Let's just say that he has stopped bothering me. We all handle our own problems differently. Not sure if you want to do what I did.
I think your example shows that no one size fits all advice works. Every situation is different.
 

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I agree with riderless on his first posts, ignore them totally - don't try to make small talk, these types of people will never change.
 

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I think your example shows that no one size fits all advice works. Every situation is different.
No, that was not my intention at all. I'm just telling OP how I stood up for myself. Didn't mean for it to mean anything and I am aware every situation is different but it really wouldn't hurt to defend yourself.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Thanks guys to all the comments! Well I do defend myself, but my anger really shows in my face and my voice, and guess what they just laugh and says that why I'm so angry. We're 4 in the batch, two of them are the bullies, the other one is just playing safe & only thinks about her boyfriend. So I have no one to back me up. Well, maybe I'll train myself to speak in sarcastic way because I have no choice, I still need a job anyway.
 

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You have to wait till you are alone with one of them then start bearing your teeth and growling whilst staring wildly into their eyes and drooling. Then you have to make sure to smile knowingly at them each time you see them. They'll think you are psycho. Then if they mock you for being crazy you just need to stare at them and say something like, "better watch you back." Then walk of smiling pleasantly like the sun is shining and everything is well with the world.
 
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