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I'm sure this has been bought up many times already on this forum but im going to bring it up again.

When i'm talking with my family i barely even notice when there's a period of silence in the middle of a conversation, it just doesnt bother me. However when im talking to anyone outside my family i just cant be comfortable with silence. Im sure many of you experience the same thing. I know silence is ok when im around others but i just cant stop thinking about there being one and thiking i have to fill it. Even when i listen to other peoples conversations and they seem to be really comfortable with each other they still have periods of silence too. Has anyone figured out a way to be more comfortable with silence? Any tips would be much appreciated.
 

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Yeah they are 'ackward silences' I am ok if i have silences with my parents but with everyone else, I hate it. I am panicking in my head/searching to think of something else to say or do something funny. If the silence goes on for two long I fear a sentence from the other person like "You are quiet. or you don't talk much do you." comes up.
 

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I have this happen a lot too. But let's face it, in the end they probably don't think much of these silences. It's mostly just us freaking out over them.
 

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I'm ok with being silent with my parents but with other people i'm scared that they'll say i'm boring.
 

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I give to you a nice Pulp Fiction conversation. The tv version hehe:

Mia: Don't you hate that?
Vincent: What?
Mia: Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullcrap in order to be comfortable?
Vincent: I don't know. That's a good question.
Mia: That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the F up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.
 

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one thing my counsellor taught me is that a conversation takes 2 people- so if the conversation stops, or if there are akward silences, don't blame it on yourself! It's just as much the other persons fault as it is yours. If you can find something to say to break the silence, then great! But if not, that's ok too!
 

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I used to find those 'awkward silences' ... well, awkward. I now find those moments funny, because; if I don't know the person well, I don't know if he/she finds those silences uncomfortable. So waiting for a reaction is kind of exciting. I often let the silences drag on, as I'm not bothered by them anymore. Not to make the other person uncomfortable, of course. Peoples reactions are just interesting to observe and I learn more about the person this way. I don't think many people do this - I'm just "weird". :p

Tips? Don't take things too seriously. Try not to think of it that much, and don't try to avoid any silences. Constant talking in a conversation is tiring - pauses are natural. Use the opportunity to take a deep breath and relax. If you've got nothing to say and the silence goes on and on and on, break it with something random or just comment on the silence in some way. Make it funny, because it is (it shouldn't be uncomfortable). :)
 

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one thing my counsellor taught me is that a conversation takes 2 people- so if the conversation stops, or if there are akward silences, don't blame it on yourself! It's just as much the other persons fault as it is yours. If you can find something to say to break the silence, then great! But if not, that's ok too!
That's what I've personally discovered as well. During car rides with friends, for example, I almost always overcompensate conversation because I'm afraid of coming-off as boring. Lately, however, I've come to realize that there's no reason for anyone to stress-out over keeping a conversation alive and vibrant, mostly because of the reason above.
 
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