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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Why do people feel the need to talk about me either openly or behind my back? People have always done this my entire life, and usually I never do anything. I sit by myself, I stay quiet, and I never bother anyone else or harm anyone else but others do not return the favor. I have had others plot against me to bring me down, to tear me down, to spread lies and rumors about me, to spread gossip about me, and so on. I never understood what I did to them to cause them to want to do that to me, or why they would even want to because I myself do not have the desire to do that to other people. I don't think that I have ever done that to other people, now that I think of it.

I have a hard time not caring what others think of me. Maybe I am a bit insecure and do care to an extent what others think of me. I honestly never thought others paid a lot of attention to me, since I am quiet and plain. I have had people flat out tell me to my face "Don't you care what people think of you? Don't you care that people roll their eyes at you? Don't you care that people make fun of you? Don't you care that people talk about you?" Honestly, I didn't care at the time but I become really self-conscious because I started wondering why others were noticing me or talking about me, because I was not doing anything other than keeping quiet and keeping to myself most of the time.

I just want to know how to cope with it better. I mean, everyone gets talked about, right?


From what I can tell though, many people perceive quiet people and loners as being either easy targets for bullying because they seem passive and lack strong social support, or they perceive loners as being stuck up. Believe it or not, people have told me that when they first saw me, they thought I looked mean and stuck up. I couldn't believe my ears. Me? Stuck up and mean? In my eyes, I was one of the nicest and most down to Earth people I know. They told me that keeping to myself and not talking to others or looking at others made me come across as stuck-up and mean.

I do also like the idea that others could be jealous or envious of me for something, or they feel threatened or intimidated by me because of it, but perhaps that is only wishful thinking.
 

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what if i told you that whole world is talking about you? a you is every single person on the planet, just a different you. people talk about people. how much u are affected by this factor is up to you...
 

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I bet you are a very pretty young woman... That means that you are going to get all sorts of attention... Both bad and good... Whether you like it or not.

One advantage to being quiet, is that when you do speak, people are more apt to listen as opposed to someone that never shuts up...

You can try to use that to your advantage by making the things you do say as positive and friendly as possible.

People can be really petty, so just keep your head up. If you stay positive, you'll attract more positive people, energy, and situations in life.

I survived getting harassed at work by calling my best friend at night. He lives in another state, & is aware that he was my rock through all of that.
Other coping mechanisms, are music, reading, walking... Anything you can do to help when you are having a hard time...
I'm unclear as to whether we are talking about work or school, or your neighborhood... But, phones can carry games, music, & could even allow you to use a texting buddy (you can probably acquire one here if u don't have one now) should that sound like an option for you...
After all, it's easier to be around a bunch of mean, backstabbing ********, if you can text to someone about it literally while it's happening.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I bet you are a very pretty young woman... That means that you are going to get all sorts of attention... Both bad and good... Whether you like it or not.

One advantage to being quiet, is that when you do speak, people are more apt to listen as opposed to someone that never shuts up...

You can try to use that to your advantage by making the things you do say as positive and friendly as possible.

People can be really petty, so just keep your head up. If you stay positive, you'll attract more positive people, energy, and situations in life.

I survived getting harassed at work by calling my best friend at night. He lives in another state, & is aware that he was my rock through all of that.
Other coping mechanisms, are music, reading, walking... Anything you can do to help when you are having a hard time...
I'm unclear as to whether we are talking about work or school, or your neighborhood... But, phones can carry games, music, & could even allow you to use a texting buddy (you can probably acquire one here if u don't have one now) should that sound like an option for you...
After all, it's easier to be around a bunch of mean, backstabbing ********, if you can text to someone about it literally while it's happening.
Thanks for your reply. How exactly were you getting harassed at work? Just curious, that's all. Also your methods of coping sound very good. I personally do not have a fancy phone with texting enabled on it, but hopefully soon I will.
 

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A female employee who was friends with the boss at that time decided she disliked me.... Several weeks after she asked me to stay on her shift & work her unit. I had just gotten hired...(we have 3 avail, morning, evening & overnight, & 3 different units)

Well, since she was in so good with boss lady, & friends with just about everybody else there... I was suddenly the most hated new female employee in the building.
It stayed that way for about 3 years. I needed the work, so I endured all the petty snide remarks, inconsiderate and childish behavior... Nobody knows how to ostracize a woman better than a bunch of nurses, & female workers.
It got really nasty...
Then, she got caught doing something awful to a patient on camera, & got herself fired by people higher up than my boss at that time. :)
 

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Believe it or not, people have told me that when they first saw me, they thought I looked mean and stuck up. I couldn't believe my ears. Me? Stuck up and mean? In my eyes, I was one of the nicest and most down to Earth people I know. They told me that keeping to myself and not talking to others or looking at others made me come across as stuck-up and mean.
I know exactly what you're saying, been there many times...not a good feeling at all. The only thing I can say is - being involved (even if just by eye contact or/and an occasional smile) goes a long way in defusing negative tension. And don't be too hard on yourself, you'll get better with each try.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
A female employee who was friends with the boss at that time decided she disliked me.... Several weeks after she asked me to stay on her shift & work her unit. I had just gotten hired...(we have 3 avail, morning, evening & overnight, & 3 different units)

Well, since she was in so good with boss lady, & friends with just about everybody else there... I was suddenly the most hated new female employee in the building.
It stayed that way for about 3 years. I needed the work, so I endured all the petty snide remarks, inconsiderate and childish behavior... Nobody knows how to ostracize a woman better than a bunch of nurses, & female workers.
It got really nasty...
Then, she got caught doing something awful to a patient on camera, & got herself fired by people higher up than my boss at that time. :)
Woo! What goes around...comes around!
 
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