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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This probably sounds pathetic, but I'm not even sure really how to move the conversation in the direction of asking a woman out, or what to say. How do you go from talking about normal every day things to hinting at your interest in them, and how do you subtly get their number without looking like a jackass.

I really have about no experience with this subject (only asked one girl out before and was rejected) and I could use some advice from the more experienced members of SAS. Also any females point of view about how you most liked to be approached in this aspect would be great too. Thanks in advance :)
 

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electric
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Hmm, I really wouldn't feel compelled to try to make that transition very smooth. It's understandably something that would be on your mind as something you wanted to talk about and it's more "hey I wanted to ask you" business like material than it is just casual stuff you throw out there. I tend to think you have even some leeway in the range of acting normally to show some shyness if that's how it comes out with no one thinking twice about it.

I think everyone has kind of a style or approach to this kind of thing that they feel most comfortable with and I want to think that's a good place to start. I don't think you have to be fancy or funny or anything except what feels comfortable and most like how you want to express yourself.

Hinting interest ... I think either you are comfortable enough with the person that hinting interest is hard actually to NOT do (kind of natural if you feel that way), or you are not that comfortable in which case you probably need to be more direct than what feels comfortable.

I don't really know though. :p
 

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SUPER EFFECTIVE!
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I think it is best to be as direct as possible. I know alot of people try to be subtle to keep from putting themselves "out there" but it can lead to confusion on where you stand with them (ie Are they asking me as a friend or more than that?). As long as you are nice, you probably won't look like a jackass.

I think a good transition would be "I've enjoyed talking to you, how about we talk more over coffee (or date activity) sometime?"

I've never transitioned though. I usually just flat out ask. I figure being direct would look more confident, but what do I know? I've only done it 3 times and it never led to anything...
 

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Simon Says...
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What I'd like to know for future use is...

Are there any ways of getting her to subtly suggest whether or not she's interested, without being so direct?

lollackofconfidence, but seriously :b.

I mean, if you could at least try to get some kind of a clue as to whether or not she may possibly be interested before you start making an actual move.
Like doing something that's not overtly advancing... but if she's interested then maybe she'll probably respond with X but if not more than likely Y but it won't be so uncomfortable. Hmmm.
 

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Make it a point to talk to her as much as possible and see how she responds to you always being around. Only do this in person as it's not easy to gauge a reaction online and it's not as sweet when a guy's texting you every hour.
If you don't seem to be annoying her then literally ask her out to a coffee house or diner.
That probably won't help at all but it's all I got.
 

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still searching...
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Walk in to a random bar and go to a random chick drinking next to the bar. Aproach her and without saying anything grab the ice from her drink and smash it as hard as you can onto the floor. Then say:

Now since I broke the ice can I buy you another drink?

She will laugh at the irony. If she doesn't laugh there is something wrong and you need to consider approaching another women.
 

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SUPER EFFECTIVE!
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Walk in to a random bar and go to a random chick drinking next to the bar. Aproach her and without saying anything grab the ice from her drink and smash it as hard as you can onto the floor. Then say:

Now since I broke the ice can I buy you another drink?

She will laugh at the irony. If she doesn't laugh there is something wrong and you need to consider approaching another women.
:clap This is pure gold!
 

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Do whatever you think is funny at the time, if it isn't, you laugh and say "I really wanted to see you smile" and ask her out. If she does laugh just ask her out. This works 100% of the time, half the time. Also, I haven't tried this and I really want to now.
 

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What I'd like to know for future use is...

Are there any ways of getting her to subtly suggest whether or not she's interested, without being so direct?

lollackofconfidence, but seriously :b.

I mean, if you could at least try to get some kind of a clue as to whether or not she may possibly be interested before you start making an actual move.
Like doing something that's not overtly advancing... but if she's interested then maybe she'll probably respond with X but if not more than likely Y but it won't be so uncomfortable. Hmmm.
if you lack confidence chances are she is not interested.

Find out? Completely depends on the situation. Do you already "know" her or regularly see her, like someone at work? Friend of a friend? Or stranger just met?

very interested: (assuming she is not shy like us here)

- she is laughing at your jokes (if you make any)
- she tries to be close to you (sits next to you at lunch as example when there were a lot of other possibilities)
- she might touch you/"hit" you, be playful
- she might even ask herself

And here is the problem. You actually need to interact with her to find out. there is just no "subtle" way.
 

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before Christmas a female co-worker I like and to whom I somtimes talk to asked if I came to have lunch everyone was invited to by the boss. was I "asked out" by her? 'cause I think she could've asked this anyone else not just me
 

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Simon Says...
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Find out? Completely depends on the situation. Do you already "know" her or regularly see her, like someone at work? Friend of a friend? Or stranger just met?
Purely hypothetical, but let's say for argument's sake... you've known her socially for a short while... possibly a co-worker... possibly friend of a friend... see her regularly, that kind of thing.

Meh, this is complicated as **** anyway.
 

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Ya its a toughie. My approach is to be friendly and communicate irl and through texting to get to know her. Then if I use my psycic tentacles to feel out if there are any reciprocal feelings. Then I tmwing it which is either good or bad but all in all it gives th experience for next time ;)
 

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Memorize this line: "hey, you're really cool. We should hang out sometime." She'll either say nothing, say ok, or make a grimace. If she says nothing or says ok, say, "cool I'll send you a text sometime, what's your number?" If she grimaces, who cares it's her loss.
 

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Purely hypothetical, but let's say for argument's sake... you've known her socially for a short while... possibly a co-worker... possibly friend of a friend... see her regularly, that kind of thing.

Meh, this is complicated as **** anyway.
If you see her regularly with a pretext, eg. at work you can check for the clues i mentioned. if not, you will need a pretext("You have nice/cool dresing style, I could need some help on my next shopping tour"). But then it is just easier to ask her out directly, above can get you "friend-zoned".
 

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I'm gonna make it easy

you say

"Do you want to do/go *insert something you like to do* some time??"

Even like phlow said, hang out, is simple enough!
 

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All you need to do is be upfront and just ask! :)

That's what I did.
 

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Find the first girl who flirts with you and ask her out in pirvacy, lets say near her locker or through a text. If she wants to be with you it will be easy asking her out.

So simple and straight forward.

Unfortunately guys have this notion of thinking girls like them more then they really do in reality.
 

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Do you guys only ask a girl out if you know her or do are you guys comfortable asking out a complete stranger? Also how do you cope with rejection? That's the number 1 reason I don't ask people out I have a fear of rejection.
 
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