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totally destroying it
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I didn't actually go into the "How to Approach a Girl?" thread, but its title did lead to this one.

I know most guys will think, "you're a woman; just go up to him," but it's not that easy. At least it doesn't feel that way. So I decided to start a thread so that guys (and ladies, too!) can give me (and you other socially retarded ladies..and some guys, too) tips on how to creatively approach guys.

What would be an interesting way to start a conversation? Outside of a bar setting, is it inappropriate to try to get a date?


Let's try to abstain from comments that might sound like Beavis and Butthead wrote them (i.e. "dude, wouldn't it be cool if you would show him your bo0bs!?!").
 

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For me all a women has to do is walk up to me and say "Hi" dont have to do anything to fancy. I think its perfectly fine for a women to ask for a date. Btw what part of New England are you living in? i plan on moving back there in a couple of months.
 

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i would like someone very specific from SAS to answer this one ;)
 

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totally destroying it
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
For me all a women has to do is walk up to me and say "Hi" dont have to do anything to fancy. I think its perfectly fine for a women to ask for a date. Btw what part of New England are you living in? i plan on moving back there in a couple of months.
Boston, I mean Bahston.

i would like someone very specific from SAS to answer this one ;)
Wooo, love connection! :p

Hi, Hello, or even My name is (your name here).
Knowing myself, I'd accidentally spit on him with a "hello." :|
 

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I think in general guys aren't used to have women approach them, so it'd probably be a pleasant surprise to have a woman come up to them. I know guys like it whenever they can be helpful to a woman they find attractive, so if there's anyway you could ask him for help with anything they would probably like that. When talking to them I would just say smile a lot and look directly at them and be close to them.
Also a good way to gauge their interests would be to throw a couple a smiles their way before talking to them and see how they react, though of course if their shy like me they may look away anyways out of shyness.
 

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I have a question I've been wondering. What if you don't think you're attractive or you think that the majority of men wouldn't find you attractive. Should you still attempt to approach a guy?
 

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I have a question I've been wondering. What if you don't think you're attractive or you think that the majority of men wouldn't find you attractive. Should you still attempt to approach a guy?
Every so often I would read a post by an SAS male member about how the only girls who would approach him are ugly girls (are these posts made by the same person? I can't remember), so if your self-esteem is at an all-time low, I do not recommend approaching random men under the assumption that they will at least appreciate the attempt.

Otherwise, have fun.
 

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Yes! Someone will like you. :yes
I'm not really talking about asking someone out, I mean just talking to a guy in general.

Every so often I would read a post by an SAS male member about how the only girls who would approach him are ugly girls (are these posts made by the same person? I can't remember), so if your self-esteem is at an all-time low, I do not recommend approaching random men under the assumption that they will at least appreciate the attempt.

Otherwise, have fun.
I'm not sure if my self-esteem is that low, but my biggest fear is them being disgusted by me just talking to them. I thought maybe at least attempting eye contact with a random person could be a start.

i think your pretty cute.
Thank you.
 

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I think in general guys aren't used to have women approach them, so it'd probably be a pleasant surprise to have a woman come up to them. I know guys like it whenever they can be helpful to a woman they find attractive, so if there's anyway you could ask him for help with anything they would probably like that. When talking to them I would just say smile a lot and look directly at them and be close to them.
Also a good way to gauge their interests would be to throw a couple a smiles their way before talking to them and see how they react, though of course if their shy like me they may look away anyways out of shyness.
If some girl were to approach me like that I'd think, "Oh how typical, she thinks she can bat her eyelashes and get me to do stuff just because she is a girl :roll". And I'd probably dismiss her quite brusquely.

But then, this is a thread about approaching guys in general and not me specifically, and I've seen this "hapless dude helping some girl out just because she smiled at him and was polite" phenomenon quite often, so I guess it might be a useful strategy more often than not.

IcoRules said:
I have a question I've been wondering. What if you don't think you're attractive or you think that the majority of men wouldn't find you attractive. Should you still attempt to approach a guy?
How many guys have you turned down in your life?
 

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Offer him some food. Boy does that help. :b
 

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the same way a dude would approach a lady i reckon. make some observation about some salient attribute of theirs (clothing, books, hair, etc.) or a general remark about whatever situation/environment you happen to be sharing (other people, business, that weird tree over there, etc.). if you're pleasant enough and smile, it will be fairly obvious to the guy what is afoot. i have this weird, attention-getting band shirt (i know, counter-intuitive for an SA sufferer) that i've had a couple random people on campus compliment me on or ask me what it means, who i now realize were maybe, possibly, perhaps signaling some passing interest but i'm a wuss so i was just like, "huh huh, thanks."
 

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For me, having someone smile and try to carry on a conversation with me is good enough. I may stumble over myself trying to talk but as long as you look like you enjoy talking to me it makes things a lot better.

i would like someone very specific from SAS to answer this one ;)
Being more specific would increase your chances of getting an answer ;)

Though I'm sure it's awkward calling someone oult like that.
 

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this too shall pass
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I didn't actually go into the "How to Approach a Girl?" thread, but its title did lead to this one.

I know most guys will think, "you're a woman; just go up to him," but it's not that easy. At least it doesn't feel that way. So I decided to start a thread so that guys (and ladies, too!) can give me (and you other socially retarded ladies..and some guys, too) tips on how to creatively approach guys.

What would be an interesting way to start a conversation? Outside of a bar setting, is it inappropriate to try to get a date?

Let's try to abstain from comments that might sound like Beavis and Butthead wrote them (i.e. "dude, wouldn't it be cool if you would show him your bo0bs!?!").
I don't think it really matters as long as you are polite and friendly. Judging by your profile picture, I imagine it is incredibly unlikely you would be rejected.
 

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totally destroying it
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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
I have a question I've been wondering. What if you don't think you're attractive or you think that the majority of men wouldn't find you attractive. Should you still attempt to approach a guy?
Me being a, shall we say, unconventionally attractive lady, I'd say read the signs. I just don't know which signs those are...

Every so often I would read a post by an SAS male member about how the only girls who would approach him are ugly girls (are these posts made by the same person? I can't remember), so if your self-esteem is at an all-time low, I do not recommend approaching random men under the assumption that they will at least appreciate the attempt.

Otherwise, have fun.
Agreed.

i think your pretty cute.
I concur. :)

If some girl were to approach me like that I'd think, "Oh how typical, she thinks she can bat her eyelashes and get me to do stuff just because she is a girl :roll". And I'd probably dismiss her quite brusquely.

But then, this is a thread about approaching guys in general and not me specifically, and I've seen this "hapless dude helping some girl out just because she smiled at him and was polite" phenomenon quite often, so I guess it might be a useful strategy more often than not.

How many guys have you turned down in your life?
Exactly! For starters, I'm not the girl that can "bat her eyelashes" and get whatever she wants. A humble-looking girl like myself needs to work a little bit harder. :p That's why I really think there's more than going over and just saying "Hey, I'm me."

I don't think it really matters as long as you are polite and friendly. Judging by your profile picture, I imagine it is incredibly unlikely you would be rejected.
Aww, shucks, thanks!
 

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this too shall pass
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Me being a, shall we say, unconventionally attractive lady, I'd say read the signs. I just don't know which signs those are...
I don't see what you mean by unconventional.
 

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If some girl were to approach me like that I'd think, "Oh how typical, she thinks she can bat her eyelashes and get me to do stuff just because she is a girl :roll". And I'd probably dismiss her quite brusquely.

But then, this is a thread about approaching guys in general and not me specifically, and I've seen this "hapless dude helping some girl out just because she smiled at him and was polite" phenomenon quite often, so I guess it might be a useful strategy more often than not.

How many guys have you turned down in your life?
Online, 2 I think and in real life 2. One I had to confront and tell no, the other I kind of ignored because I was scared.
 

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A girl has never approached me before. I don't think most guys really care. In my head I'm not thinking "look at that girl she should approach me by asking me this and this. If she doesn't do it like that, I don't like her". I don't think about things like that.

Just say Hi or something.
 
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