Social Anxiety Support Forum banner

1 - 7 of 7 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
199 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I have SA and I have taken criticism very hard. I am working on this through realizing that I have a choice in how I feel about critical comments directed towards me. But, anyway, I've noticed as I've passed though adolescence that the insulting comes in a different form. Instead of the jerks of the world (maybe 1/10 of the population) insulting you outright and in front of my peers like they did pre-college, they now seem to do it in a kind of snide, under-their-breath kind of way. It's like after the comment is made you really aren't 100% sure that he or she meant to attack you. So, if you were to say something back to the person they could say that you're crazy that you took offense to that. Like, for instance, I was at a office halloween party and the most talkative guy in the office had some issue with me because I was the quietest one. Anyway, he walked past me and said under his breath, "You never talk". Then he walked by me again and said "You never try to make friends with anybody". I just stood there without responding. I wonder if I should have said something like, "Yeah, I'm not the most talkative person. You seem to really take issue with this. I'm not trying to bother you" Or, "I may not talk a lot but I really think you talk too much, so I guess we're even." I guess that's better than saying nothing.
 

·
SAS Member
Joined
·
31,285 Posts
Of course he had an issue with you because you are an easy target that he can get a quick ego boost out of which will make him even more popular with his office buddies. There probably wouldn't of been anything you could of done especially if he was drunk. People get older and become more clever with their insults, but obviously his maturity is still in the teen years.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,130 Posts
I had a situation like this last night. Check out my post...

Its frustrating. It really beats at me...People have no idea what their doing, it seems...

Or they do, and they just like to mock and instigate people...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
290 Posts
yeah he probably does talk too much. And more sensitive people do make easy targets.

I'm going with "yeah and I think you talk too much so I guess it all evens out." That should give him pause.

The thing is once you stand up for yourself, they learn you're not a willing easy target, and I've found they won't continue to victimize you. I've found that being true to myself first, gets the best results.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,196 Posts
People like that guy are the exact kind I don't put up with. I know that I would have to say something, and it wouldn't be very nice. This would ESPECIALLY GO FOR IN THE WORKPLACE. I used to be an easy target and would just say nothing, but I learned that I am not going to let ANYONE attack me for any reason. I always leave the ball in the other persons court as to how we get along. If you say something nice to me, we will get along fine. If you choose to make stupid comments like that guy did, we are going to have problems.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
791 Posts
If you started saying hello to the guy or ask him how his weekend was occassionally his comments might stop all together. Sometimes people like that want to get to know the quiet folks better but think that we're stuck up. Those comments weren't neccessarily meant to insult. People say crap like that to me all the time.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
4,722 Posts
Sorry to hear that guy was so rude to you, bht. People like that are the kind I care about least, but their comments still get to me which is frustrating. I haven't had people say things like that to my face but I'm pretty sure they say things behind my back. It's frustrating being misunderstood. Maybe just say 'hello' and ask him how he is next time you see him? Then he'll see that you were polite and made an effort to greet him. He doesn't sound like he's worth making the effort for, to be honest, but at least it'll get him off your back :)
 
1 - 7 of 7 Posts
Top