Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 20 of 24 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
88 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
it seems incredibly rare for me, in the last 2 weeks I have woken up feeling good and happy twice, i'm pretty sure this rare moment of happiness is a complication with my medication because i've been going through a bit of a complicated phase with it lately and i've been mostly sick for over a month now. but the experience of being happy made me think to myself, this is what it is like for normal people to feel like? this is why people laugh and smile and it seems genuine? it's like I don't really experience that ever aside from moments where I win or achieve something and it comes with that moment of temporary elation which is incredibly rare. I don't really want to be on anti depressants, I have tried them and I didn't experience much of a difference aside from a slight boost in motivation when I first took them, which quickly wore off. doctors have often diagnosed me with depression but I don't think I am depressed. i've been like this all my life.
 

·
Irretrievably Lost
Joined
·
2,724 Posts
Close to none. I can't remember the last time I felt "happy" about anything. I experience relief but seldom happiness. I am depressed often and when I am not depressed I am numb. The only real positive emotion I look forward to is the feeling of relief, such as when I am relieved the workday or a stressful event is over with. Sometimes I feel better when I listen to sad music because I can identify with those emotions. Kind of a misery loves company thing. To me it would be a very strange thing to feel happiness most of the time. I have no idea what that would even be like. Happy cheerful people really annoy me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
80 Posts
but the experience of being happy made me think to myself, this is what it is like for normal people to feel like? this is why people laugh and smile and it seems genuine?
Some people feel like that most of the time which is hard to imagine as someone who has experienced mental illness for most of their lives.

But there are also people who are clinically depressed who are not sad all the time. And people who experience depression who also experience episodes of high energy and euphoria, and are on the bipolar spectrum. I fall in the latter category. I basically bounce up and down which is exhausting and draining. I experience a range of emotion and feeling which is great but comes with its own set of challenges. It is like I am two, completely different people. I am on medication for this, but also am not convinced that it's really helping. The whole process is stressful on its own. But here we both are, trying different options, right? That's worth something on its own.

I don't really want to be on anti depressants, I have tried them and I didn't experience much of a difference aside from a slight boost in motivation when I first took them, which quickly wore off. doctors have often diagnosed me with depression but I don't think I am depressed. i've been like this all my life.
It's quite a personal choice to take medication. It does help many people gain relief from symptoms. Your doctor may want to increase your dose and/or add other medications. What I would suggest is to keep a running list of concerns/questions you have between your appointments so you don't forget to share something important with your doctor. Psychiatry appointments can be so short and rushed sometimes...
 

·
Fupa King
Joined
·
946 Posts
I am mildly to majorly depressed most of the time. Something might occasionally make me laugh, and I might feel some momentary relief from my depression but I never feel truly happy. I swear depression has been slowly killing my soul--nothing quite pulls me out of it or lets me escape anymore. I struggle with apathy and maintaining any interest or passion in anything. I'm also unemployed and struggling to find the motivation to go back to work.
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
34,973 Posts
Not much anymore but (to be completely honest) I have had an easy life compared to most people my age and I will admit I have been happier than probably most people my age have ever known for most of my adult life. Things have been going steeply downhill for several years and there are factors that make it basically impossible for me to (ever) be any happier than I am now. But my life has been luxurious in terms of how much free time and lack of burden I have had up until recently. I have been lucky and I'll leave it at that.
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
8,772 Posts
I think the only phases in my life where I am actually chronically happy overall, was my pre-teen to early-teen years where I am still not taking thing seriously or be able to grasp how abnormal things are around me. Despite things were indeed pretty f**ked up in my social surroundings compare to your average kid growing up. I would always think constantly screaming, breaking things, verbal abuse were normal, so I kind of just tune them out or take them like they are when they're directed at me. Thinking back, I really wish I am able to go back to that mode of mine nowadays. I think I would be much happier now.

The other phase I would say is there several years I was college, and I was just nearly on my own living with a distant aunt several states away, away from major family and others. That was when I felt freedom, a sense of being myself, I get to do what I want, mingle with who I want, develop relationships with who I want, try out what I want, without dwelling on potential repercussions to follow.

The years following college, where I lived abroad I would say I was very happy too despite always being anxious as that was when I was completely alone. Looking back, I really do miss those times.

But ever since then, when my life took a downturn, I have always had a dark cloud hanging over my head or just lingering around as a lingering presence in my life. The anticipation of the dark cloud really is what keeps my happiness at a 4/10 or below for the past many years. I was suppose to an opportunity to have another few years living out abroad too again. Something I've been looking forward to for a long time to get me through. But right when that is about to happen, pandemic/lockdowns came. So that has been either postponed indefinitely or might be outright gone for good.
 

·
Registered
---------------------------- ▓▓▓▓Groovy▓▓▓▓
Joined
·
7,951 Posts
I think I am pretty fortunate and feel pretty happy most of the time. It doesn't take much for me to feel occupied, and there is often a desire to understand how something works, as well as an appreciation for smaller things. The strange thing is, I fully understand the pointlessness of it all, but I still enjoy a lot of what I do regardless.

It depends on how you define happy though, like if I turn on youtube I see people behave in an exaggerated manner to express their emotions, which to me looks unnatural. I don't experience a perpetual hyper happiness where I am easily excited. Usually, I feel a mellow sense of interest and a desire to engage in whatever it is that is interesting me. The sense of hopelessness does not often engulf me to a point where I incapable of doing anything, I mean it happens, but it is not a perpetual state of being for me. Unfortunately though, when it does happen, sometimes such a sense of hopelessness can last for days or weeks, thankfully, I always get past it though.
 

·
(.*?)
Joined
·
6,790 Posts
I'm frequently mildly happy or mildly sad, but usually fully neutral. I just don't get strong emotions. Possibly because I've worked my whole life at suppressing and avoiding emotions in order to keep anxiety at bay.
 

·
long hard times to come
Joined
·
377 Posts
None. I don't experience happy emotions anymore. I'm pretty much emotionally blunted from my meds. I can feel content but genuine happiness or feelings that make me smile are rare.
 

·
bipolar
Joined
·
17,249 Posts
For someone with my particular set of problems I think I'm lucky to have had as much happiness in my life as I've had. It varies a lot though - I'm also a worrier, so I worry about literally everything. Plus I ruminate about all the things I didn't or couldn't do - or even worse what I actually have done sometimes. That's usually enough to scare the **** out of me too.

I'm often teetering on the edge of mania - which sometimes resembles "happiness" but not quite. It's far too extreme and uncomfortable in my case to be pleasant, although I've heard it is for some.
 

·
alien monk
Joined
·
8,705 Posts
mostly anhedonia. I was happy sometimes when I had a gf. lately I've been not unhappy, which is weird but good. just work and sleep mostly, not expecting anything more.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
36 Posts
None, I'm about completely alien to the emotion at that point.

However, I try to look at things with perspective and rationality and find contentment where that's possible.

Certainly this isn't the life I would have wanted but I know the reality of the world, the REAL world, the incredible, horrible , actually out of a horror movie type of things that happen specially in nations such as mine and I take solace that even within everything that I am not and forever missed on, I am still a privileged individual.
 
1 - 20 of 24 Posts
Top