I guess I've always had it. I can remember being in first grade and having this thing go on everyday at lunch where I would have to dump my tray at the garbage can in front of this janitor guy and I would always have all these thoughts that he thought I was weird and strange for not eating all my food or not finishing my beans. I would imagine that he went home and told his family members about me and they would all have a big laugh about the weird kid at school. I would get so tense and anxious that I would have to sit there for a long time sweating bullets and trying to work up the courage to go past him so I could get out to the playground for recess. It doesn't seem normal for a kid that age to be experiencing that and be a nervous wreck. Anyways I didn't think about it much growing up but then around eighteen that stuff sort of started taking over my life and I've been battling it ever since everyday and in every area of my life. It makes me feel very depressed and inadequate. I basically go around feeling just like that first grade kid and here I am a 31 year old grown man. Anyone else have SA that far back or go through anything similar?