Social Anxiety Support Forum banner

1 - 10 of 10 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
46 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So how important is having a job, independence and a relationship in your country/community? I understand the basic importance of all 3 because of financial reasons but
I however am more curious to how people around you or in general your country react when you have neither?

Do you feel less respect by other people who know about your situation? Do you feel pressurized to change it even though you don't necessarily want to change it? How important is living by yourself in your country? I understand culturally/regionally there might be big differences regarding independence.

What if your government made sure everybody would get a minimum wage regardless of having a job or not, would you feel better, less stigmatized?

Maybe I'm putting too much importance myself on these subjects, maybe people really don't give a **** what my life is like?
 

·
Loathed Loiterer
Joined
·
8,144 Posts
Yes, not having those 3 things of course will cause stigma since those are things that are seen as the basis of life, well being and overall happiness. I would imagine this idea won't be much different in a modern society, regardless of where you live or any geographic location. The stigma might be a bit stronger or weaker on certain cultures (especially in terms of being in a relationship or not), but it's generally still going to be around the same.

What if your government made sure everybody would get a minimum wage regardless of having a job or not, would you feel better, less stigmatized?
A little bit yes, since money plays a primary role in living well being and happiness overall, things stigma is driven strongly by.
 

·
SAS Member
Public Universal Enemy
Joined
·
42,589 Posts
They all are stigmatised where I live definitely. Not living alone is a bit less stigmatised in my generation since few people can afford to buy a house and so many people save up while living with family etc but not having a job or relationships are still heavily stigmatised.
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
34,094 Posts
I wonder what it would mean if it was stickmatized instead of stigmatized. I think "stigma" is an unnecessary word (like so many of them). According to the dictionary, it is synonymous with a number of other words that probably already existed before the majority of people ever heard the word "stigma". "Disgrace" "shame" "dishonor" "taint" "blot". Why do we need so many words in one language that all mean basically the same thing? Does it make us seem smarter if we use a 3-syllable word instead of a 1-syllable word? Aren't we already acknowledging the taint (no, not that taint!) when we complain about it with fancy words to make us seem smarter?

Anyway, of course it's all important because servitude and reproduction is the meaning of life to humans. We wax philosophical about all sorts of things and then we go to work and kiss the boss's *** and beg for our food like we always have.

It is no wonder that society shames us when we don't do as we're supposed to. Since it's just the way things work (whether it is OK or not). So you decide what's OK with you I guess.

No matter how much of an F you don't give about other people's opinions, you obviously will get tired of hearing them eventually and that can also manifest as SA. If you don't want to hear a squealing vacuum cleaner every day, it's going to cause anxiety because it's something you dislike and dread. No matter what, the peer pressure will get to you sooner or later.
 

·
Failure's Art
Joined
·
2,198 Posts
In the good ole capitalist USA your job is essentially your identity. This is why so many people literally kill themselves working 50-60+ hours a week to climb the corporate ladder and earn some bull**** corporate title like VP or SVP or whatever. Socioeconomic status is everything and so many people are willing to give up everything to achieve it. And of course having the "perfect" family (that you never see because you work constantly) is a part of this American nightmare.

I have a full time job with a large corporation in one of their corporate offices but I'm relatively low in the hierarchy. This used to bother me because you're shown less respect than those that hustle their way to some coveted middle management position but honestly I don't give a **** anymore. Even if it wasn't for SA and I was capable of a promotion or 2 I don't think I'd want them. Getting more money to buy more **** and a nicer business card with better title isn't a fair exchange for your life. I am very much a proponent of the "I do not dream of labor" ethos. My labor only serves to benefit my employer. Every labor hour I devote to their needs is an hour of my life that I will never get back and never be able to enjoy. My goal in life is simple: to limit their share of my labor hours as much as possible. I don't care about their profits, I care about my life. And I don't need a lot of **** or any social status to be live a fulfilling life.

This, strangely, is a controversial view in the US. If you don't drop dead of a heart attack by age 50 you're considered lazy or immature or whatever.



 

·
Mad Scientist
Joined
·
1,087 Posts
People where I live are very reclusive, but there is some stigma I suppose. More than anything though, when I didn't have a job or contribute much I felt terrible about myself.

As far as relationships and independence, people generally don't care.
 

·
lagrimas negras
Joined
·
1,744 Posts
People can always find a reason to belittle you/me for whatever reason. Not having a job, not being independent and/or not being in a relationship is just easy pickings.
If you don't have a job then you suck but if you work for a living then you suck because you're a 'slave to society' or you're 'kissing up to your boss' just so you can feed yourself (even though we all need to eat).
If you're not in a relationship then you suck but if you do have a SO then you suck because you're a fool who's pretending to be happy and blah-blah.Not sure what I'm talking about but I think my point is we all should be ashamed of ourselves or whatever.
 

·
SUS Member
Joined
·
10,742 Posts
Think those things are all pretty important here. If you're not working, and you don't have a really good excuse, you should die, more or less. That's why we have homeless people dying in the streets. Being independent is less important, though there's still stigma about living at home. But if you're working people are more okay with it.

Not sure about the relationship thing. I think people definitely think there's something wrong with you if you don't have one. Otoh, I've never experienced any pressure to be in a relationship. No one has ever asked me if I was in a relationship.
 

·
(.*?)
Joined
·
6,655 Posts
My impression is that nobody judges singleness. And how can they? It could mean so many things, and those of us who are single because nobody wants us are a minority of single people. And (outside of a dating scenario) nobody asks whether you've always been single or you spent the last 20 years married before your divorce yesterday.

People who live with their parents may get moderate judgement from a few people, but mainly if they're dating -- nobody wants to date someone who lives with their parents because it's inconvenient. But if you have a job while living with your parents, most people won't assume you're a loser... they may even assume you're a generous person taking care of aged parents. Or people may just be mildly puzzled by your choice. Or depending on your ethnicity they may see it as more normal or less normal.

Unemployment seems to garner the most judgement, and certainly the most awkwardness. People always ask each other what they do and expect a substantial reply. You can lower the stigma of it if you say you're taking classes or trying to start a business or something, just make it sound like you're working on something.
 

·
bipolar
Joined
·
16,988 Posts
I would have thought all 3 of those things would be pretty important no matter where you live - especially in a Western country anyway. Not doing one of them shows you are outside the norm and that something is obviously wrong.
 
1 - 10 of 10 Posts
Top