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SAS Master
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943 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Stand-up comedy, acting, rapping, drumming: this are things I think I could be good at or in some cases just good at in public if I didn't have so much anxiety about them.

More general areas that SA has an effect on my life are: I can't pee around people I know or in some other settings (paruresis) and this limits my activities, and day to day, social anxiety makes me not like being around large groups of people (this affects walking on campus, sometimes sitting in a classroom and definitely making friends)

So...I am attracted to an idea of being a different person, who participates in the theatrical activites I listed and participates more socially with people outside of work or school.

However...I think I'd be happier because I would have more comfort if I took a path in life that didn't involve these things.

It seems that personality disorders are so persistant that even if real change is possible, it would take up a large chuck of my life to accomplish it and it wouldn't be just a time sacrifice, I would need to sacrifice comfort and experience a lot of anxiety.

Whereas maybe I could take a different path in life that involves avoiding these things. There is happiness to be found in solitude too and maybe different ways to be artistic or athletic that don't involve other people.

Is it worth it to change? It seems like a big sacrifice either way. In my last post it was suggested to me that it is unhealthy to avoid and not address my social anxiety issues. But is it really healthy to add so much more stress and anxiety by trying to be something I'm not?

I know in a way I'm rewording a question I've already asked and I apologize but when I self analyze it is kind of like a dog chasing his tail and I come up with the same questions again and again because I can't ever find the answer I'm looking for.
 

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152 Posts
Just follow your true self and gut instincts. If SA is preventing you from doing or pursuing what you desire, then SA is worth trying to improve. Don't live your entire life for second best.
 

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baby you're a lost cause
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1,728 Posts
If you dont achieve any of your dreams, the self hate you might end up with is much larger than any relief you get from escaping everything...
 

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133 Posts
Self improvement is incredibly important because it makes your life much better than before. Some people, like me, may choose to take on bigger challenges and create more stress in their lives because that is now what they enjoy doing. However, not everyone chooses that, and not everyone has to do it.

Recovering from social anxiety is difficult, stressful, and anxiety-producing, but the results are worth it. Imagine if you could do all your favorite things such as being around large groups of people and have either very minimal or no anxiety about it at all! That would be incredibly freeing!

You only have to push yourself as far as you are willing to go. A good guide to know that is that you can have a fairly normal functioning life. Normal functioning means that you can hold down a job, make a few friends, find a spouse, and interact with groups of people in non-threatening settings and experience a normal amount of anxiety. That may look different for different people, and when you are happy with your life and can do the things you need and want to do, you can quit there, or go further if you'd like. It's your choice, but less anxiety and stress in the long-run is worth it so I definitely recommend you to dare to walk down that path!
 
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