Social Anxiety Support Forum banner

1 - 11 of 11 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
25 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
How is it done? Is there some secret recipe?
Yeah, I suppose I have no friends...:blank
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,667 Posts
After moving to a new city I was presented with that same question. My view of friends is that they are supposed to be people you enjoy being around and you feel understand you to a certain extent. Social anxiety made it hard for this to just fall into place.

What I ultimately found helped me develop the friendships I have now was getting myself out, volunteering, doing hobbies that I enjoyed with others, etc. even if I felt anxious about it. I tried to put myself around people that I thought had similar interests as me. Even still, I met a lot of people, but for a while didn't develop any friendships out of the new activities I was doing. Eventually, over time, I've met a few people who have become close friends. Looking back, I realize that it just took exposing myself to a lot of people before I was able to meet a few people that became friends.
 

·
Beautiful Mess
Joined
·
1,284 Posts
You have to be a friend to have a friend. That means doing kind things for others and have an opening ear. Like Drew said- get out an volunteer for a cause you support. Go places that interest you and look for an opportunity to start a conversation with someone. The more exposure to people the more likely it is that you will have friends. Why not try reaching out to your past friends?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
298 Posts
All my friends I have made through work, school, or my hobbies (music, hiking). Church is good too if you are into that.

I don't meet people by striking up conversations at random.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
133 Posts
After moving to a new city I was presented with that same question. My view of friends is that they are supposed to be people you enjoy being around and you feel understand you to a certain extent. Social anxiety made it hard for this to just fall into place.

What I ultimately found helped me develop the friendships I have now was getting myself out, volunteering, doing hobbies that I enjoyed with others, etc. even if I felt anxious about it. I tried to put myself around people that I thought had similar interests as me. Even still, I met a lot of people, but for a while didn't develop any friendships out of the new activities I was doing. Eventually, over time, I've met a few people who have become close friends. Looking back, I realize that it just took exposing myself to a lot of people before I was able to meet a few people that became friends.
Absolutely the right way to go about it. The same recipe worked for me. Hang out/volunteer in things that interest you and you will eventually make like-minded friends. Just remember that not everything is going to work out the way you want it to, but that its okay and that things will work out if you give them time.
 

·
Buried at Sea
Joined
·
5,104 Posts
1 friend (serves 1)

  • 2 (or more) people
  • 1 shared interest or experience
  • shared sense of humour
  • complementing personalities

Combine ingredients. Mix thoroughly. Let stand, mixing occasionally to ensure freshness.

If recipe does not produce friend, substitute final 3 ingredients with money and cars.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
38,431 Posts
I don't know.

Given that zero seems the most common number of friends for SAS members I'm getting the impression others around here are nearly as clueless on this subject as myself.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
210 Posts
Having a sense of humour.
Being able to look someone in the eye while talking to them or meeting them for the first time.
Understanding who you are and knowing that.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
12,147 Posts
Is it really so important? I hear it a lot and I confess, I don't understand why everyone thinks they need friends. I've just never felt that way. I've had them from time to time and I even miss some of them but it's not to the point of depression.

Anyway, if you really want to make friends, just talk to people. It'll either happen or it wont'.
 
1 - 11 of 11 Posts
Top