Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 20 of 22 Posts

·
Meek
Joined
·
447 Posts
Have you always been this way? Can you think of a time/any moments when you weren't? I'm as bad as you described at the moment - e.g. a guy in a store yesterday said 'have a nice day' and it caught me be surprise and I blinked in a really startled way and squeaked, 'hi' :blush But I know for me it needn't be a permanent state, I just need to be more continuously socially active and I'll improve as I have done in the past. I bet you are the same, it's just you haven't had an opportunity to prove it to yourself :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
66 Posts
Well, at least you made an honest attempt to talk to that girl. It's more than I would've done.

I know it's probably difficult to keep a positive attitude, but I've found that keeping the "right" perspective can often mean the difference between success and failure.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,073 Posts
You just have to keep trying! I have embarassed myself plenty of times trying to be social and failing lol. But the only way to ever really get better is to keep trying, no matter how hard it is. When you fail, you've got to dust yourself off and try again.

I finally gained the courage to talk to this guy I really like and say what I was planning to say. It didn't turn out perfect like I had expected and I was so frustrated. But I mean, it gave me experience and I believe one day I will be able to talk to guys with no problem.

It's okay to keep trying after you fail.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,454 Posts
Well...

I don't approach people, ever, really. So, you're ahead of me there. Actually, driving to the store or walking down my apartment hallway is distressing enough. :(
 

·
UnDeRrAtED
Joined
·
34,712 Posts
If it wasn't for fighting and hiding my anxiety I wouldn't be able to function
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,261 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Have you always been this way? Can you think of a time/any moments when you weren't? I'm as bad as you described at the moment - e.g. a guy in a store yesterday said 'have a nice day' and it caught me be surprise and I blinked in a really startled way and squeaked, 'hi' :blush But I know for me it needn't be a permanent state, I just need to be more continuously socially active and I'll improve as I have done in the past. I bet you are the same, it's just you haven't had an opportunity to prove it to yourself :)
Yeah, I wasn't this way about 4 years ago.... I guess that's when it took a turn for the worse, and I just wouldn't talk to anyone. It's nice to know others are going through this, and keeping a positive attitude! That's amazing, thanks! :D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
480 Posts
If it wasn't for fighting and hiding my anxiety I wouldn't be able to function
I agree 100%. I used to be just like the op till I got on drugs. I kept thinking this drug will fix me or that one will when in reality the best they can do is help just like a tool. They make a job easier but you still must do the work.

In the end I went back to SSRI + benzo (prn). Most of all I have learned that nothing changes if we dont move our feet. The sheer will to keep fighting my anxiety is what allows me to function.

One of my biggest fears is talking on the phone so I got a job at a call center. Now rather than letting my fears eat away at my soul, I got up and moved my feet. I used to be agoraphobic for 2 years and I have had sa since childhood. I was living with my parents and generally felt terrible about the way my life was going. I can honestly say that getting a job is what has helped the most. Its like a form of exposure therapy where you get paid.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
246 Posts
Have you always been this way? Can you think of a time/any moments when you weren't? I'm as bad as you described at the moment - e.g. a guy in a store yesterday said 'have a nice day' and it caught me be surprise and I blinked in a really startled way and squeaked, 'hi' :blush But I know for me it needn't be a permanent state, I just need to be more continuously socially active and I'll improve as I have done in the past. I bet you are the same, it's just you haven't had an opportunity to prove it to yourself :)
LMAO that should have been really embarassedO_O,well it happens.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
257 Posts
I feel isolated and 'safe' even in public. I mean, I might as well be invisible. If I do have to deal with people, I just go through the motions. It was sink or swim for me, so I've had more than enough experience with the basics. That said, I avoid unnecessary social interaction like the plague.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
5,875 Posts
Well, SA affects different people in different ways. Some can't even bring themselves to post on here, for example, but may still hold a job or have friends. I can work and be around people in public with relatively anxiety, but relationships are out of the question and I'd never attempt to make conversation with an unacquainted girl the way you did. It's best to not compare yourself to others and instead focus on fixing your own deficiencies, wherever they lie.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,261 Posts
Discussion Starter · #12 ·
You just have to keep trying! I have embarassed myself plenty of times trying to be social and failing lol. But the only way to ever really get better is to keep trying, no matter how hard it is. When you fail, you've got to dust yourself off and try again.

I finally gained the courage to talk to this guy I really like and say what I was planning to say. It didn't turn out perfect like I had expected and I was so frustrated. But I mean, it gave me experience and I believe one day I will be able to talk to guys with no problem.

It's okay to keep trying after you fail.
Thanks for the advice... :D

I will keep trying, I'll get better over time.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,804 Posts
Yeah do keep trying. You also have to realize a lot of people here have been in your situation and improved to a stage where they're able to function better but still struggle with anxiety. I think that's quite reassuring because it shows you can get to that stage too and still make progress from there.
 

·
roarrrr
Joined
·
4,876 Posts
Please try to keep hope. I was a very severe case of SA as well. I couldn't talk to anyone, wouldn't even dare. I was abnormal & selectively mute. My "mommy" had to order my food at restaurants when I was 17. I literally couldn't talk to ANYONE.

But - I'm doing much better now, on no anti-anxiety medication. I'm not sure what happened, really. But some new experiences with some new mindsets really changed my course & I don't suffer from much SA anymore.

So there is always hope for the future. Sure - you may be having a lot of difficulties now, but it doesn't mean you will always have those difficulties.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,261 Posts
Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Thanks so much to everyone who replied! It really is nice reading these and seeing that some of you have gone through the same thing as me... Pretty encouraging, I'll keep on attempting to talk to people.

Even though I really don't want to....

Thank you all! :yes
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,692 Posts
Dude, you are already doing a lot and i wish i could be brave as you. It doesnt even matter, that this attempt was unsuccessfull. You are trying and that is what really counts.

I hope you keep it up, maybe next time you will have better luck.
 

·
killer of conversations
Joined
·
10,545 Posts
Well, at least you made an honest attempt to talk to that girl. It's more than I would've done.
:yes

Any effort put forward to do anything with SA is a good thing. Everything, at least for me, seems like such a chore. It's like I'm acting all day - training myself how to act applying things I should have hung onto when I was much younger. I look back sometimes and wonder how I graduated high school without medication, or how I ever showed up in the first place.

I have to agree with the people saying to ditch this "never" business. I never thought I would get a job. I never thought I would go back to school. I never thought I would meet anybody I could even consider an acquaintance. I still did all those things, and it was really friggen hard, but no feeling in the world can beat how you feel in those little moments when you actually control your anxiety.
 
1 - 20 of 22 Posts
Top