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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
How do you ask a girl out?

I'm getting more confidence in my appearance and sometimes (could be vain paranoia) I feel like a girl in a store looks at me for a second longer than is naturally normal or a shop girl is smiling at me a little too broadly (with strong eye contact), but I have no idea how to approach or structure a conversation into an asking out situation! As you can tell from this post, I don't have a lot of contacts as this is the sort of female interaction I'm reduced to.
 

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The one girl I did ask out once in HS I just bit the bullet with as soon as I saw her I came straight out with it, that way I couldn't chicken out and when she said that was random cause I had just said hi how you etc, I then said well I had been wanting to ask her out for a while and thought if I did it as soon as I saw her instead of waiting for the right time I wouldn't back out cause of nerves and it worked :stu.
 

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I would say first, try to engage her in some conversation about something else. Ask her about something in the store, get a recommendation for a gift, something of that nature. Then, introduce yourself...nothing fancy, just "I'm Brian, by the way." and extend your hand. Look her in the eyes and smile when she shakes your hand. If you can find something to compliment her on that's not too awkward, that works..."You are so helpful!" or "You have such a nice smile!" not "Wow, you are hot!". If you can, bring up some local event that you you could plan on attending, maybe a music or art festival or something. Tell her you've been thinking of going and wondered if she might like to come along. Or ask he if she'd like to get a cup of coffee sometime. Keep it friendly and casual, but suggest a specific activity. Avoid asking her something like "Will you out with me?" or "Would you go on a date with me?"...a bit too much pressure to put on a total stranger. Just keep it on a casual level, as if she's simply someone you'd like to get to know a little better.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I would say first, try to engage her in some conversation about something else. Ask her about something in the store, get a recommendation for a gift, something of that nature. Then, introduce yourself...nothing fancy, just "I'm Brian, by the way." and extend your hand. Look her in the eyes and smile when she shakes your hand. If you can find something to compliment her on that's not too awkward, that works..."You are so helpful!" or "You have such a nice smile!" not "Wow, you are hot!". If you can, bring up some local event that you you could plan on attending, maybe a music or art festival or something. Tell her you've been thinking of going and wondered if she might like to come along. Or ask he if she'd like to get a cup of coffee sometime. Keep it friendly and casual, but suggest a specific activity. Avoid asking her something like "Will you out with me?" or "Would you go on a date with me?"...a bit too much pressure to put on a total stranger. Just keep it on a casual level, as if she's simply someone you'd like to get to know a little better.
They are good ideas in theory, but asking someone to come with me for a coffee seems a bit daunting, it strikes me as the sort of thing you only do to catch up with friends.

Or something a Hugh Grant character would do.
 

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They are good ideas in theory, but asking someone to come with me for a coffee seems a bit daunting, it strikes me as the sort of thing you only do to catch up with friends.

Or something a Hugh Grant character would do.
Well, that's sort of the point. Keep it casual and friendly, not like you're looking to get laid or for your life partner. Asking a total stranger to decide right then and there if they want to date you would seem more daunting to me (speaking as a woman). And there is nothing wrong with modeling yourself after a Hugh Grant character, in terms of getting girls.
 
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