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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Recently I got a job through my boyfriend, at a place he used to work.

Basically my job is to run the front of a pet grooming shop. (I originally wanted a position in the back, bathing dogs but it was not available so I settled) The night before my first day I got three hours of sleep because I was so anxious, I woke up and I couldn't eat in the morning. I was shaking on the drive there and hyperventilating. I kept saying to myself that I could do it and I will be fine. After the day passed, which was painfully uncomfortable I didn't have any feelings of relief when it was over. I didn't have any pride that I had gotten through the day. I just was very sad and cried on my drive back and into the next day. Now my anxiety over this job is all I'm going to think about and be nervous over to the point it effects my anxiety even on days off, to the point I can't enjoy life.

I'm contemplating if I should ever go back. I need the job!

How do you do have a job when your social anxiety is so bad?
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I hope he's joking... Is it that hopeless? For anxiety I have only tried just jumping in and going for things when I'm anxious, often afterwards I do not ever feel like "that wasn't so bad" It's more like "that was awful, I should have never done that" feeling afterwards. I am not in any therapy or on medications
 

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Backstreet's Back ALRIGHT
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GO BACK!

OR ELSE!

Seriously...It's gotta suck being so nervous but finding a job (as you probably know) with SAS is hard as hell...You could quit this and be screwed (and regret it when you really need the money lol). I've never had a proper job so I can't really give much advice job-wise. I am sure you will feel a bit better as time goes on and you get use to the atmosphere and your duties.

Sometimes if I'm in an awkward situation and feeling anxious (like appointments...some sort of public setting where I need to interact) I just kind of go into my own world in my head and remember a time where I was confident and at ease...or I just kind of pretend I'm a whole different person in my head and that occasionally helps calm me down.
 

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Barbells and kittens
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Not well. I've never made it more than about six months straight and that was nine or ten years ago.
 

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In the job I have now, I don't have any contact with the public, or with anyone else, really. I work by myself, completely, unless something crazy happens where I need help.

Believe it or not I used to work at Walmart for about a year when I was in college. I stocked hardware and sporting goods, but occasionally they would call me up to check. My meds helped me get through it (I was on Xanex, but there's a whole lot out there now for situational anxiety). I also just sort of learned to go through the motions. Everything I said was pretty much rehear sed, scripted. It sounds like your job might be a lot of the same. There's probably not much need to be too conversational really.

And there are jobs out there with little to no contact with the public or other people, if that's what your looking for. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I really really am poor at math so working the register my mind freezes up when I can't think do something quick enough. I think some customers were annoyed with me. There is also a lot of calling customers, answering their questions. I have such a short term memory (long term is great though) when given names and numbers I forget them within seconds and have to ask again and sometimes even again after that!

The boss just put me on the register in front of a few customers knowing I had never done it and walked away to the back of the store and I blanked, I had no idea how to do it. Even though earlier in the day when no one was in the store I asked to be shown how to use the register... he responded with an "ummm..." and changed the subject :| I asked another employee how I would work the dog tag making machine (nothing like the ones you see in petsmart) and she said it was self explanatory. I had the idea that if I asked questions no one would reject them? I would never do that to a new employee.
 

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You'll break through it the longer you work there. I know the feeling, it sucks. There's a lot you can do with your body in terms of health to really get it to use the stress / adrenaline response appropriately instead of 'misfiring' (as I call it) during times like these. Even though the threat might not be real, I know the feeling and it feels very real. Best of luck!
 

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I really really am poor at math so working the register my mind freezes up when I can't think do something quick enough. I think some customers were annoyed with me. There is also a lot of calling customers, answering their questions. I have such a short term memory (long term is great though) when given names and numbers I forget them within seconds and have to ask again and sometimes even again after that!

The boss just put me on the register in front of a few customers knowing I had never done it and walked away to the back of the store and I blanked, I had no idea how to do it. Even though earlier in the day when no one was in the store I asked to be shown how to use the register... he responded with an "ummm..." and changed the subject :| I asked another employee how I would work the dog tag making machine (nothing like the ones you see in petsmart) and she said it was self explanatory. I had the idea that if I asked questions no one would reject them? I would never do that to a new employee.
Wow..i'am surprised everyday..i was always convinced it was just me with this problem, i'd say i'am fairly bright..but need to work better at arithmetic:eek: ..though i've heard people say that if the register is computerized..it's a bit easier:yes..shame though..our parents & teachers tell us..if we ask "we shall receive"..instead you ask & you receive air:no this is what makes people timid in the workplace..no sense of feeling like they have support or confidence from others..i get that it's busy..but how do you expect one to learn..if not taught..then that just reflects the establishment as a whole..& it will be that establishment that pays the price in unhappy customers.
 

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Sorry it was so bad... You mentioned your boyfriend used to work there right? Could you ask him how to do these things, or maybe he can come in and guide you through it or explain to your co-workers what you're going through, or something?

Give it a little more time and if nothing changes, maybe start looking for something that will be more comfortable for you.

I've only had one job, it's my current one, and it was practically given to me after doing vocational training at Job Corps for 2 years. It also helps that my girlfriend and one of my friends from my class also work there.

Just remember there's opportunities everywhere. Even if you can't get a job normally there's free classes, volunteering, vocational programs, and even job placement programs for people with disabilities and disorders. I forget what it's called but it seemed pretty simple. Get assessed, talk with a counselor, and they'll find you work and give consideration to any issues you might have. I know it was offered to me by the disability coordinator at job corps, as was SSI for Avoidant personality disorder.

Now you might not need all of it or some of it might not be right for you but there are always options to work, learn, and contribute to the world no matter how bad it is... Just don't feel like something you hate is your only option, or that you need to just be on welfare, because that's simply not true.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Wow..i'am surprised everyday..i was always convinced it was just me with this problem, i'd say i'am fairly bright..but need to work better at arithmetic:eek: ..though i've heard people say that if the register is computerized..it's a bit easier:yes..shame though..our parents & teachers tell us..if we ask "we shall receive"..instead you ask & you receive air:no this is what makes people timid in the workplace..no sense of feeling like they have support or confidence from others..i get that it's busy..but how do you expect one to learn..if not taught..then that just reflects the establishment as a whole..& it will be that establishment that pays the price in unhappy customers.
It is easier because it's computerized, but I often will even miscount when nervous. When I did screw up on something that simple, it's extremely embarrassing and makes me feel inferior, especially when it happened more than once.. the girl I was working with probably thought I was an idiot. I was also very disappointed when they day was over and I was told what I will make an hour, my boyfriend was paid a few dollars more starting out with no experience doing the same job. It made me feel like they didn't think I was worth it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Sorry it was so bad... You mentioned your boyfriend used to work there right? Could you ask him how to do these things, or maybe he can come in and guide you through it or explain to your co-workers what you're going through, or something?

Give it a little more time and if nothing changes, maybe start looking for something that will be more comfortable for you.
I did ask him a lot, he told me they wouldn't put me on the register on the first day and I would be able to practice on it. He sat down with me and gave me random $ amounts to count out so I could improve my speed! He said it was an easy job, honestly it is an easy job yet for someone like me it has been a nightmare :| all though little things like working machines he won't remember the exact process because it's been 4-5 years since he's worked there.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Sorry it was so bad... You mentioned your boyfriend used to work there right? Could you ask him how to do these things, or maybe he can come in and guide you through it or explain to your co-workers what you're going through, or something?

Give it a little more time and if nothing changes, maybe start looking for something that will be more comfortable for you.

I've only had one job, it's my current one, and it was practically given to me after doing vocational training at Job Corps for 2 years. It also helps that my girlfriend and one of my friends from my class also work there.

Just remember there's opportunities everywhere. Even if you can't get a job normally there's free classes, volunteering, vocational programs, and even job placement programs for people with disabilities and disorders. I forget what it's called but it seemed pretty simple. Get assessed, talk with a counselor, and they'll find you work and give consideration to any issues you might have. I know it was offered to me by the disability coordinator at job corps, as was SSI for Avoidant personality disorder.

Now you might not need all of it or some of it might not be right for you but there are always options to work, learn, and contribute to the world no matter how bad it is... Just don't feel like something you hate is your only option, or that you need to just be on welfare, because that's simply not true.
thank you for your helpful advice
 

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Yup mine was popeyes, i didnt mind it too much i liked talking to the customers. Its just it was too fast paced and that elevated my anxiety. .. i stuck with ittill it went to school. It was a summer kob, but in that time period i only worked 5 days lol, i was way too slow but I cleaned up well and washed dishes, it was the packing that got me xs.

But stick with it a job is hard to come by
 

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Life is funny
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OK...you're not quick on your feet as far as math etc. Is there any way you could handle working with animals, like taking classes to become a vet tech? Or working at a shelter or even working with small children? If a fast paced business isn't for you how about a business that helps people or animals? You seem like youd be more comfortable in a more helpful capacity rather than serving the public or working in a face paced office.
 

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Try not to give up. It's super hard starting a new job but it does get more routine over time. Try to find some humor in this by laughing at yourself, if you can. We all look & act a little off in a brand new job. Laughing about it might help you relax & loosen up. With all that said, I do take a medicine to help my nerves at work & find it very helpful. I was having panic attacks at my job for awhile & now I don't. Congrats on being brave for just showing up! I know it takes a lot of energy and courage.
 

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Not well. I cry all the time over work. Right now I'm obsessed with trying to find a career path that lets me work from home. I'm not having much luck. I continue to work full-time, but I'm miserable.
 
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