Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 6 of 6 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
250 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
The reason for this thread is cause most recently my boyfriend was hanging out at his friend's house. He saw his friend's mother and told her he had a girlfriend. She got concern by that and had a few questions for him. Like who am I and what does she do. To which my boyfriend explained where I'm from and that I don't work. But not because I don't want to but cause I have social anxiety disorder. Which of course sent her alarms off in her head. It didn't get any better when he told her how we met which was through the Internet. Then she told him in not a happy but more like an interrogation kind of way " you should bring her by some we could talk to this little lady" and the later on said " if there is anything that I disapprove of; I'll tell you not her." Which of course threw him for a loop. Cause he wasn't telling her to seek her approval it was just to share the fact he had a girlfriend in his life.

Now me personally I wished he wouldn't have mention anything. Cause I know what people think when hearing the word "disorder" they think loon, psychopath, loser etc. I also don't like sharing finances either. I think those are personal questions. I will answer them at a more appropriate time and place.

He told me he said it cause he felt if he didn't mention me having SAD that he was like saying he was ashamed of it or me having it. Which he is not. I told him to stop telling others about my disorder. It's no secret that I have it. But there is a time and a place for everything. A which point I will happily discuss it. And also it's really nobody else's business.

He has apologized and I told him its not a big deal. But it got me curious for people with SA getting together with somebody who doesn't and meeting their family and friends. How do you discuss it? Or do you at all bring it up? Has anybody been through this kind of situation. Any advice if so?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,013 Posts
Personally I have no issue talking about it because I'm not ashamed of it. We all have our issues, why should SA make us some kind of pariahs who are undateable losers? If you own up to it and realize that it's just an obstacle that you are working to overcome then it loses some of its stigmatic power.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
250 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I believe in the same thing. It's just I prefer to get the chance to talk to people before announcing my SA. Then people are aware that I'm actually a nice person who happens to have SA. Instead of loon :lol

But anyways I think if that's how they feel about me already. That I am some kind of nut and no interest in actually getting to know me. Then that's fine. I have the choice to not get to know these people. And spend my time having fun with my boyfriend and friends. They are the ones missing out :clap
 

·
Nope, still not!
Joined
·
3,273 Posts
I rarely talk about it.

With my dad ( who is like the only person IRL I can hold a convo with ) I don't do it because I'd rather not show my weak side to him... I don't know why but it's always been that way.

With people online I don't discuss it because I don't really feel comfortable doing so, it makes me feel vulnerable I suppose.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,537 Posts
I don't talk about it. And sorry to be blunt, but I don't see how it's the job of your boyfriends friends mother to approve or disapprove. Although I notice you said your boyfriend wasn't looking for approval just to share the news.

As SA goes, it's not psychopathy or anythin like that and its not dangerous, despite how he newspapers make it out to be. As it is, only a few people know (close family and a few friends.) It has nothing todo with being ashamed. I'm sure people can work out there's something wrong with me. It's just none of there business anyway, and to be honest, I just get fed up with people's attitudes towards social anxiety. I'm not looking for pity or sympathy. I just want to get on with my life, like everyone else.

How did I talk to people? I was 12 when I got diagnosed so my family knew. I pretty much just told them. And if they can't deal with it, then screw them. I'd rather not be around someone who's **** about it. If I'm going to tell someone, Ill tell them, an expect them to deal with it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
250 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I totally agreed with you Otherside!

I don't know how she made herself Overseer of his relationships. I feel she doesn't trust his judgement and that of her son as well. She started to look at him differently when he turned down a job opportunity. She thought it was stupid. But he turn it down cause it wouldn't make him happy. So after that I think she sees him as a dope who doesn't make good decisions.

Then again everybody has something like you said. She has some skeletons in her closet but yet feels the need to judge others. I guess that's how she makes herself feel better.
Anyways that's another matter all together.

I was diagnosed when I was 12 as well with SA. It took my mom a while to understand fully. Mainly cause its that deal that having a child who is different. However it was also denial of the fact my mom gone through the same thing herself when she was younger. I guess she push that out her head. Which is why she was so harsh to me while dealing with this. She now understands what I go through and it's easy to talk to her about it. My dad other the hand will never understand and can't understand it. So it's best if I just don't say anything. He just thinks I don't like big crowds. So we just go with that.

Thanks to you guys responding. Much appreciated :)
 
1 - 6 of 6 Posts
Top