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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Lately, I have become fairly close to one of my friends at school. We talk every day at school and have lots of similar interests, and I think he honestly enjoys being around me. I have done several things with him outside of school and they've generally gone well. I told him about my SA a few weeks ago and he was pretty cool about it. Last weekend, I was feeling really down, so I called him and told him a lot of very personal things that I hadn't ever told anyone my own age about before. Not only did he listen to what I had to say, he told me personal things about his own life. Then he invited me over to his house the next day, and we had a lot of fun playing frisbee, watching TV, and other stuff. It was the first time I'd been over to someone's house in five years. I feel like I am finally developing a friendship with someone I find to be interesting, kind, honest, popular, and compassionate.

The only thing is, it has felt like so long since I had a real friendship with someone outside of school, I am not even sure how to be a friend to someone. Because I have felt so lonely, I would love to spend all of my time with this person, but that is not practical. I worry a lot that I will lose this person because I will do the wrong thing. Often we people with SA long to have a close friend, but what would we do if we actually got them?

So I ask all of you this: how do you be a good friend to someone? What boundaries and limits do you set and respect in order to avoid being too intense or clingy, but not become too distant in the process? How do you deal with potential jealousy we might have about their other friends? What do people want in a friend? How do we talk to these friends about these concerns and ask them for advice on these issues?
 

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It sounds like the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Just try not to be too demanding, give the guy his own space. Don't feel slighted when he does things without you.
 
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