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I used to be really avoidant of everyone and everything. But you just have to start saying "yes" to opportunities. Whenever people ask you somewhere where you would normally say no or make an excuse, force yourself to say yes, and go. You really have to push yourself though.

That's how I became comfortable with dating and stuff, eventualy after years of this it all kind of clicked and I am not socially avoidant. But push yourself out of your comfort zone. And it's okay to tell potential friends and potential dating partners about your SA too.
 

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i or my friends just forced me to do things i was uncomfortable with
I'm single right now but Ive had plenty of gfs one was a long term relationship.
Just take little steps,If your already friends with him thats a good start maybe you can try to change one avoidant behavior and see how things go.
 

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Staying positive
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For some reason when I'm with the right girl, I don't get as self-conscious because I know she likes me anyway. It's weird, I have the hardest time looking at people in the eyes sometimes, but when I'm with the right girl eye contact feels just right instead of awkward. Being genuinely interested in the person next to you makes most anxiety go away.

Here's a tip: let those feelings you have for this dude come out by being genuinely interested in him when you're with him. Ask him questions. Watch a movie and exchange your opinions. If he really likes you too he'll try to help you feel more comfortable if you seem anxious.

Remember one thing about your self-esteem. You must not be all that bad if this guy really likes you :)
 

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ignore my first post. got a bit ahead of myself, for a second there i thought i knew you irl. As it turns out, im in the exact same situation as you, only im the guy. A few weeks ago i ran into a child hood friend, exchanged numbers with her and have had a few awkward phone calls with her. Her initials are in your User name and the age is right, so still a big coincidence.

Its getting easier after every time i call, but im having trouble thinking of what to do for a date. Im gonna try tho, or i will dwell on it forever. Also, possibly conveniently, when i knew her she was quiet/shy not alotta friends, but now she claims to have changed completely. Not sure i buy it completely, but she did greatly improve her appearance.

So maybe we can help each other out. For instance, if he is trying to take the lead let him. He asks you out, just say yes and go. remember, if your friends you have history, which gives a you a solid topic for conversation if nothing else comes up. Talk about what youve been doing since you last seen him, and expand on those topics. At least, this is what im gonna try.
 

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Obviously dating sucks with SA.

For me, I'm usually pretty confident when I first meet people, but I become shy as I get to know them more.

So when I first date guys it's okay. But soon after I become very shy and nervous.

Before, I used to just keep going until I become shy, and then they lose interest in me (because low self-esteem is obviously not attractive). Or in the cases that they're still interested in me, I feel shy in the relationship so I usually eventually end it just because it's just pure torture feeling constantly nervous for me!

After that happening many times, I just don't want to experience it anymore so that's why I date guys enough to get that "ego boost" and then I reject them before I ever become shy.
 

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Just takes practice (I mean you need to give it a try to find out its easy for you) like everything , everyone (even people without SA) usually feels very nervous before the first date , especially about what "Im going to talk about? ...." . But it dissapears after you have tried it .
 

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I avoid it - and try to avoid all thoughts about it.

Due to fear and a total inablilty to trust people (not to mention a physical problem that makes me keep away from people and that won't go away through practice!)

:um
 

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I don't. I've never even been on a date.
lol me neither. And I try to block any thoughts about it...

I avoid it - and try to avoid all thoughts about it.

Due to fear and a total inablilty to trust people (not to mention a physical problem that makes me keep away from people and that won't go away through practice!)

:um
Stop reading my mind. :hide
 

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HaloOfDarkness
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Your better off pushing yourself out there even if it is uncomfortable. It sucks but I don't think there will ever be a time in your life when your suddenly not scared to go meet up with someone. It doesn't just disappear. i wish I hadn't been so excusable in my past. I feel so sheltered.
 

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UnDeRrAtED
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Im scared of dating let alone what women think. then again I never try so Ill never know whats on the other side.
 

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Dating? Love? What is this sorcery you speak of?

:hide
 

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I've never been on a traditional date. I've always either broke the ice with girls by getting completely wasted (in my younger days), or became really close friends with them online first. There's something about traditional dating that seems really fake and superficial to me. How are you supposed to make a judgment on a potential mate over one dinner? Why is it deemed a good date based on how well the other person followed a bunch of generic rules? I guess it is to make sure you will always enjoy having dinner with this person?

I'd rather either dive in head first and trust our luck, or take the slow route and get to know the real person first.
 
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