I like your theory, that's a really cool formulation. I remember when I would be teased, bullied, etc. in school, always feeling like I'd somehow deserved it, unknowingly given offense. I think that gave me a feeling of control. You're right, though, it never changed my opinion of that other person. I guess because I try to be compassionate, and even sympathize with people who are mean in spirit.My theory is that when someone treats a normal person poorly it changes the normal person's opinion of that other person. But when shy people are mistreated it changes their opinion of themselves.