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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I feel like I'm so close to moving away from being socially withdrawn and yet I can't make the final step. Like a lot of people on this site I feel like the reason I avoid social interaction is because I feel like I'm inferior. Like nobody would want me as a friend ... or more. There is a post here titled "Do You Feel Ugly" that's 27 pages long! It doesn't take much to guess why most of the people here are afraid of getting close to other people.

There are a lot of people in my life now that I feel like I can be friendly with. I can talk openly with them and everything almost feels normal. But I always feel like I'm ugly and worthless. That I'm so abnormal that I don't deserve the right to live.

Even if I'm ugly it wouldn't stop me from making friends. It seems like my appearance means more to me than the people I interact with. It's not like I can change anything about the way I look so I should just except myself for who I am. It's either that or be alone.

The thing I'm mostly afraid of is rejection. Of how rejection would change me. I don't want to become bitter. To hate life more than I already do.

My thoughts are still a little disorganized. I feel like I'm rambling a little. Oh well, just putting my thoughts out there. Let me know what you think.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Thanks

I appreciate your reply but I don't feel like I've made any great step. I can be friendly but I can't make friends. I still don't think anyone likes me. I still take everything way to serious. I can interact with people but I don't let anyone get close. I'm not really opening up. It feels like an act.

I should be happy that I'm doing better than a lot of people on this site. I can function and hold down a job. I should be happy with that. But all my accomplishments seem empty if there are nobody in my life to share it with.

I can't get past the feeling that I'm ugly. I can't develop confidence in myself. I don't know what I should believe.

I was hoping for more feedback than one reply. I guess I'm not asking the right questions.
 
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