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Moving Towards Destiny
1,835 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Hey guys.

I am sitting here on a Saturday night alone at home as per usual and bored out of my mind as per usual. Books, movies, games, doing household chores, just doesn't cut it. Nothing can cure the terrible loneliness and boredom from being alone.

Get out and be with people you say.
I have tried that all my life and I am as lonely and bored when I am with people as when I am alone. As a person with severe SA / AvPD, I have always been alone even with people so that tactic never does any good.

What is the cure?
How do you guys cope with the intense boredom?

There are only so many distractions you can try to use and they always lose their effectiveness.

Thanks for listening and take care all.

12 Posts
In my experience there's two types of boredom. One is when you have energy, but don't know what to do. The other is when you're tired and bored, and putting effort into doing anything at all is just too damn tedious.

For when you want to do something, but don't know what to do:
You don't lack motivation, you lack inspiration. So try to get inspired. Do anything at all, but with the mindset that you're going to be open for new ideas.
Like if you watch a cooking show on TV and think, "hey, that doesn't look too difficult, I could to that", then proceed to the kitchen to make a culinary abomination of the same recipe.
Or you could walk around the house playing a game of "who invented this?" and "how does it work?", and spend hours on wikipedia and google...
If you approach everything with curiosity, eventually you'll get ideas, and some of those ideas might turn into goals.

For the heavy boredom, when you're lonely, tired, bored and sad:
Personally I feel like I don't even want to be inspired when I'm in this state. Because I don't want to put effort into doing anything. There's just numbness and sadness.
The only 'cure' I've found for this is meditation. I basically just sit, listen to my breath and observe my thoughts.
The hard part is to do it without judgement, "this is boring", "I'm not feeling better" etc. You'll have to treat them as any other thought, just
observe them, neither agreeing or disagreeing with the thoughts. It takes a little bit of practise, but it's worth it.

I suggest reading these articles if you're interested:

the observer pitfall and
mindfulness vs metacognition

You're going to progress from 'thinking about thinking' to 'observing without judgement' to 'observing the observer'.
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